Getting a new brain for my AS son

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My 8 yr old AS son says he hates his brain and wants a new one. He says there are too many numbers and words in his head and things can't get out (eg. he can't forget about people upsetting him) because there's a lock on his brain. When I asked him what sort of new brain he'd want, he said, "One without a lock on it."

Can anyone relate to this and offer any advice on how to help him? Obviously, I can't get him a new brain. I am wondering if some of it is that he is having problems with emotional management as the "new brain" idea came out of a conversation I had with him about why he refused to do any work in class today (turned out that a couple of girls hadn't wanted to play with him before school, and wasn't able to cope with this and "get it out of his brain").

Something mum told me at his age may help. Every day, I was to write down everything that was bothering me. Once I was done with that, we'd take it outside, maybe read it if I felt like it, and then burn the paper. It was a visual release from everything bouncing in my head. It reminded me of a funeral for the thoughts, really, and allowed me to move past them. As I got older, I learned to do all of it in my head, but it was a great starting point.

It took me a long time learning some techniques like autogenous training and meditation to cope with such situations. I don't know if a child can learn them, but maybe there are some courses in Yoga or some Asian martial arts which could teach him to turn of distracting thoughts.

Sounds like somthing off hithchikers guide to the galaxy

8 is an interesting age for people with AS.
At this age we have to learn to share and interact meaningfully with others.
it is no longer a matter of whoever sits next to you is your friend, you have to make and form friendships and bond with others.
it would appear that this is an anxiety your son is really experiencing and perhaps unable to express it verbally to you or himself.
i was avery naughty destructivr boy at thast age, i am 36 now and back then AS wasnt even diagnosable...just a bad kid i was., apparently.
if he gets distracted by these thoughts and perseverates over them all day to the extent that he cannot learn, then it may be time to consider home schooling.

I sometimes have too many words and numbers in my head, it has been known to keep me awake, I just needed to find a way top get away from things.

I find that when I feel like this, having a special item with me can soothe me, at the moment I carry around a stretchy neon rubber caterpillar after wrapping it round my hand and fiddling with it for a few minutes I find that I can focus on whats happening right now. Its like an anchor.
Is there a particular item that your son enjoys? If it is small he can keep it in his pocket.

Sounds like two things happening to me. One is brain race. The other is getting his inner feelings, the words, the expressions out in a form that others can understand. I still have a milder form of brain race, but it wasn't always so and sometimes it isn't mild at all. I need white noise at night to fall asleep easier. Now I'm working on translating what I feel inside in words. I couldn't write in a way I think I can now. To some it will look like an abstract, to some it will look something like a flow of conscience and to be honest I don't know how it will come out, it's still knew to me everyday. But when I write in the spiral, some tell me it looks like Virgina Woolf or Joyce, never read either of them. But I feel empowered to do it, I have found a means to get it out. Music, art, writing, chess, math, the list is endless...it can take many different forms. Everybody goes that damned martial arts route, try Tai Chi. Oh, I did too, the martial arts. Then I learned hand to hand combat, keep it, I don't want anything to do with it. There are other ways to reach the mental state and far easier for a young one. Less violent. Probably not as cool, but I don't like cool anyway, especially now.

I wish I had the magic key. I really do. All I can say is try to reinforce the way his brain works. That he is not defective because of it. If he obsesses on things, don't try to put out the fire, add new fuel to it, let it branch and broaden.

i have the same thing, it took a long time to learn to control it at all, i still have difficulty doing it, but that's mostly because i often enjoy obsessing so i will sometimes stay up for hours in bed just thinking. the white noise idea's good, you might try that, but other than that i had to learn to control my thoughts and i don't think i could have done it at a young age. my brain doesn't race from thought to thought as much any more, and i miss it. i loved thinking at a million miles an hour, it was fun, stimulating, exciting. now i don't go through that, and i think depression probably has something to do with it, and i miss it.

If he has ADHD, this could be part of it. (But it takes more than just lots of thoughts to qualify as ADHD.)

Seems to me to involve both anxious and obsessive elements. (Not "obsessive" as in personality, but as in repetitious and not being able to get away from the repetitions... or maybe 'perseverative'). Anyway, it also sounds like something that might happen to anyone, especially someone who cared what others thought of him.

Anything that manages anxiety should help him. So should anything that helps him break out of repetitions. (Most repetitious behaviors don't need to be stopped--just when they interfere with other things or if they're annoying him.) Depends on whether it's the 'stuck' or the 'worried' part that's more pronounced.

I bet he'd be able to quiet the thoughts a little by engaging in some special interest of his. In my experience, a special interest takes up all of your brain space, leaving no room for anxiety. (In my case, if I have a strong special interest, I never have any symptoms of depression--a notable fact because I am quite prone to it!)

I know what he means, that's exactly the kind of thing I was coming out with around his age. I think the 'lock' on the brain is the down side to having the legendary memory capacity that comes with being aspie. Hey, I still remember tiny incidents where I'd be told off for a slight misdemeanor, or someone would say something nasty or put me down, and these are things that the other person would have forgotten within 5 minutes that I remember 14 or 18 years later.

What I found the best thing to do was to kind of put them in a pretend box. Make him a real one if it's easier. Write them down, lock them up, then they're away for good. You might remember them but they can't worry you because they're locked up.

I also did karate from a very young age (because my parents did it so I wanted to too!), and I found that helped enormously. It gave me an edge over any bullies - not that I'd ever use it or have ever used it - because they're a bit scared of you because of it. It also teaches great coordination, fantastic self-discipline, and instils confidence in you that you may not have otherwise had. I know I gained a great deal of inner strength from karate, it's a fantastic sport mentally as well as physically. Plus it's very repetitive, which I liked a lot!! Also, it's a 'violent' combat sport but without the violence as such. The first thing they teach you is never to use it unless you absolutely have to - I remember one boy being kicked out of the club for punching someone randomly in the street. It's more about discipline, focus, inner strength, confidence, harmony, doing good in the world, and fitness. So maybe try him on a martial art? Explain that nobody's perfect when they begin but to keep at it because it'll be great fun...

If he feels there is a lock on his brain and stuff can't get out, maybe it's more an issue of he can't communicate those things effecitvely, and get relief from the things that are bothering him. See if typing his thoughts out on the computer is easier than speaking, try singing them out, drawing what he sees in his head might help. See if any of this "unlocks" him Tell him maybe you don't need a new brain, maybe just a key to unlock this one..see if meeting him on his terms and validating that feeling is helpful to him.

I remember I wanted a new brain too when I was in elementary school. I wanted to go to god and trade my brain for someone else's brain. I even wanted to go to the hospital and have my brain taken out and have a another one put in. But I realized in middle school if I did that, I would be another person, not me because I had someone else's brain. Of course I know now brain transplants are not possible.

I can remember being in 6th grade and I started saying my brain is like the mall and the people go in the stores and buy the hurt feelings and I am stuck with them, I cannot get them out of me. My mother told me I can have the people go back to the store and return the hurt feelings.


I had problems with moving on when I was in my preteens and teens. In my earlier childhood something would hurt me and the next day I be over it because it was a new day and everything was new.

Now today I distract myself by doing other things and thinking about other things and I forget about it for a short bit. But the memory always comes back but I don't let it bother me.

My son is almost 10. He complains about his brain not working sometimes. This is in regards to school work though. He has a difficult time talking about social events in the past tense. You have to ask him direct questions to the get he sequence of things. He won't tell you the whole story if you ask, "How was your day?"

How are you supposed to answer "How is your day?" I thought it was "good or "bad."

So did I... I mean, what other kind of day can you have? If you asked me "How is your day and what are you doing/have you been doing?" then I'd tell you more obviously, but just asking how a day is seems to imply you only want to know what kind of a day it is.

Sometimes I'll elaborate a bit more if someone asks, but I'm assuming they aren't after screeds of information about everything I've been doing and all the groceries I've bought or letter I've posted or whatever other mundane things have gone on...