Fear of violent outbursts

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I just got back from a psychologist who asked me to make a list of several "negative thoughts" I have. One seems to be closely related to AS experience so I will lay it before you for your examination and comment. It should be noted that I have a role of public leadership, which would cause somewhat of a "scandal" if this were to happen.

"When in emotional stress or in loud busy places such as Walmart I have “semi-delusional meltdowns” when it seems everybody is swirling around me, poking me, laughing at me, yelling in my head, drowning me. Usually I just run and find a dark corner covering eyes and ears, but I have come close to yelling back and physically attacking people and may “snap” someday."

Oh dear, see why that does concern you. Will think about it and have something helpful to say later? Right now want to let you know someone looked at what you said.

You shouldn't worry about your negative thoughts!
Don't talk to psych's if you tell them the truth or anything for that matter and you could end up getting ECT aka electro shock therapy that's what happened to me along with much worse.

I'm sorry for your experience, but not dealing with your feelings and thoughts isn't going to be beneficial. There are risks either way, but the situation the OP is in merits getting some input and assistance in my opinion.


M.

I'm sorry that happened to you. I didn't know that electric shock therapy was still used. You two at least should of had a choice t get it done.
I told my psychologist about my meltdowns and she recommended meditation. I thought it was a stupid way to deal with meltdowns, but still I guess better than ECT. She was against medication so she'd probably be against ECT as well.

I don't have really bad meltdowns anymore. My mum says it's the medication, but I think it's my lack of going out into the world. When I do feel one coming I try to get it over with in a quiet place or count backwards in my head. The counting does nothing for me though. Sometimes reading can take my mind off things. The OP could try taking a small book with them and test my theory out.