Neurotypical Games Give Me A HEADACHE

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NT’s play mind games, and seem to silently insist this is how life must be for everyone. Nevermind that it is all so absurd and inconsistent and unfair. Does anyone agree? I am told "It's life. It's no big deal." So, I figure I'll play the same stupid games we are all expected to become experts at. But I can’t figure it out. Or, more often, I CAN figure it out intellectually, but do not want to play because it is RIDICULOUS. So, if I don’t play their games, NT's dig their heals in, and become even more rigid and vindictive. They don't understand that the autistic mind is not wired like theirs; they just assume we are all thinking the same thing. Most of the time, I would rather be by myself. But it is very difficult to be isolated. I do enjoy being around my NT friends and family, a little bit at a time. People always like me initially, but eventually when they figure out I don’t think or act exactly the same way they do, it’s taken very personally and everything tends to go south after that. Even after trying to explain how I am different, and how challenging it is to be this way, it doesn’t seem to make much of a difference. I was adopted at birth, and have always been surrounded by NT family and friends. I am in my 30's and realized two years ago that I am an ASPIE. Without understanding and support and guidance, it is a rough road. There are no resources in my area. Do NT's give anyone else a GIANT headache? Does anyone agree that their "games" make life MUCH more complicated than it needs to be?

What games are you talking about? Can you give a speficic example or two?

it would be easier if you approached it like this.
be AS when it suits you, but learn to adapt in a non-AS world.
normal for you is to act and feel AS, normal for them is to act the way you have described.
So when we all act normally we, as AS get the raw deal as we are currently the minority of humans.
we can adapt, and your right we can watch look learn and adapt very well.
so tolerate their ways and quirks and think of it as a way of adapting.

Dear Capri0112,

I agree 100%.

My experience has been very similar and I am in the process of developing a system of social analysis and response to enable me to deal with both social relations in general and these issues in particular. I wish that I could give helpful practical advice, but all I can say at the moment is that your perception of the social situation that we face is simply accurate.


Magliabechi.

I don't call people up much, cause I just don't like yakking on the phone all day. I don't arrange get togethers often, or have people over all the time. I like these things occasionally, but not enough it seems. If you are not yapping on your cell phone every half hour, or running around town shopping and having lunch with your friends, or getting your kids together with their kids every other day, you sense people think there is something wrong with you. Does anyone enjoy peace and quiet and solitude today? If you are not hyper-connected with everyone else, you get misjudged as stuck up or odd. People are nice to you, but you know that since they can't figure you out, you are viewed suspiciously or you are avoided. NT's don't seem to be able to accept someone who does not want to be social 24/7. People come into my life and want all the contact THEY desire, but when I don't reciprocate on their timetable, I just get crossed off the list after awhile. It's either all or nothing. It's just very rigid and close-minded to expect everyone to want the same level of social contact. You are either in the game, or you are not, no room for any in-between.

Your reading is a little tough to read. Learn to press the enter key after a couple of sentences.

I can't take you seriously. It comes across as though you are trying to imitate. You didn't do that bad but you need to space your sentences better by pressing enter.

Otherwise it's

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Are those neurotypical games in there, I basicaly am not in games like that, infact I fear most of those things. Well in certain ways I am a master at neurotypical games, mostly geting out of things like, mixing juice, washing dishes, cleaning my room and basicaly not being hated for saying stupid ignorant things. For some of these things I actualy like the fact that I can anylise someone by certain things yet I can keep myself mysterous, like the fact I seem to keep acting differently on this site.

wow, you have over 2500 posts from May 2008??

I hope you are getting paid to post.

Catspurr I think you made the thread a lot harder to read, I have to scroll back and forth now to read a single line.

I was trying to post before and ended up with my own topic. Geez, I can't do anything right. All I wanted to say was Capri, it sounds like your experiences are typical of my experiences, and I haven't been diagnosed yet. (I have to find out if I'm covered through mymedical insurance) I've just been reading a lot about AS and came across this site. I can't get over that I have been going through these things all my life and never knew about AS. But it is tough for me to socialize at the hyper level 'the others' do. I just simply have no need to socialize so much, and I talk a bit at work because I have to, and I understand talking is a part of trying to get along at work, which I'm bad at anyway.

Yes, thank you.

Capri, that sounds pretty typical of all the NT's in my life. It is how it is I suppose.

To donkey, Magliabechi, jul and Dragonfly Dreams:

Thank you for your words of understanding and support. Sometimes that's all I need to get through a day, the voice of another who knows exactly what I'm talking about!

Life is complicated. Being Aspie adds yet another dimension of complication that I didn't ask for! But knowing that there are so many others out there going through a similar experience sure HELPS.

We need to stick together, support each other, speak up and stay strong.

Thanks again.