When people think your ASD is so super extremely MILD...
Urgh, even the ASD specialist I see seems to think that and everybody else thinks that anyway.
I mean, wow, I don't like meltdowns, but just because I have a kind of useless high IQ score it doesn't mean I can't have meltdowns!
Since when does a high IQ score and the ability to fake talking well mean one's ASD is super extremely mild compared to 99% of all other autistic people?
I have the impression everybody wants to give me problems where I have none. I don't have problems with what people tell me I'm supposed to have trouble with!
And take away the reality of the different problems I have because of my neurology. I can't change some ASD things, so would people please acknowledge them and not treat me like a snotty kid (I'll start act like one if I'm treated like one)? It is real and I'm just ASD and different to others with ASDs (as everybody is)!
Is disability, diversity and a multidimensional spectrum really so hard to understand?
What do other people you know say? Do even those willing to help you misunderstand your ASD often too?
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Autism + ADHD
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The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. Terry Pratchett
Unless one has researched accurately and thoroughly the nature of ASDs, the WHOLE SPECTRUM, it is widely and grossly misaunderstood.
Even those you would expect and who want to understand, don't. Those with children who have the dx for example, still have inaccurate and misleading beliefs about ASD.
You would think anyone associated with autism would dive right in and access all the best resources available and get the facts straight. (Most of all this fact: that there is no one exact cookie-cutter profile of autism!! !)
But, alas, few really strive to understand. They don't take the time, they don't care to have their views challenged, or whatever lame excuse you can think of.
There is too much wrong information that has been out there too long, and the right information has just not broken through to the masses yet.
Hang in there. We will get there someday.
This is why it's best to base severity on one's "outcome", rather than how someone superficially appears (my mother told me such today, when she told me that, 'yes, you're just like Rain Man, it's just that you're tall, and you look "good", even when you ignore everyone who tries to talk to you, and sway nonstop.').
You can have someone with a high IQ, who can speak fluently, but can't work (even the most menial job possible). Then you can have someone who's nearly nonverbal with an overall IQ of 70, but who can work. Who is more severe?
Bradleigh
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Yeah I apear quite normal and I am fairly smart but I actualy have quite difficulty doing jobs, it proves as a problem whilest I am trying to do stuff at scouts. Realy am above average inteligence and hold my own in a conversation have no idea what to do when I am set to do something helpful, like pitch a tent, take a message, run programs to fix computers or explain directions to people.
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I play normal pretty well. Some people do notice something different about me, but have no clue what it is. They usually write it off as a "strange sense of humor" or "a little crazy", depending on who I'm talking to. I do tend to say some weird crap, or react to things in an unexpected way sometimes.
But nobody but an expert would guess AS.
But nobody but an expert would guess AS.
Gosh this is me. I know that I come off as an odd person with a weird sense of humor. I know people look at me sideways at laugh, even when what I said wasn't intended to produce laughter. Most people would never suspect ASD though, because most people I know believe that typical in the corner banging your head image. I can't count how many times I've heard "Asperger's? Whats that?" and this is from some very highly successful people.
KingdomOfRats
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what am find hard to understand is that most of the autistic community are able to know who is and who isn't mild/mod/severe/profound without looking at the stereotypes,they judge on skills,abilities,autism traits and strength of those traits etc. whereas the people who are supposed to be the experts of autism and as,who get paid for this and see spectrumers day in day out-they judge strongly on stereotypes.
am was told by the support staff am have from the NAS that no autists are alike-she works with many and none=the same,she said that all autists have different severest parts,for some autists it may be communication that is their most severe part,but for others it maybe lifeskills,social,sensory etc,some may have equal amounts of difficulty,and what are all good at differs to.
doctors should not assume automatically someone who can fake talking well or have a high IQ has vmild ASD because of the way autism works-they are likely to have severer parts in the rest of their autism just as talking maybe the most severest for someone else,but probably wont get noticed as it sounds those docs are only looking for the stereotypical parts.
they need to spend time with self maybe,around all the things that do,or see videos of it so they can see how hard it can be.
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I don't see that IQ determines functioning level, either day-to-day or lifetime-average. There are people who need 24/7 care and have IQs in the genius range.
It could also be that the guy who said this is used to little kids who are autistic, and doesn't realize just how much we learn as we grow older.
Anyway, "mild autism" doesn't mean "causes no problems". It can be worse, psychologically, to have a mild version of something, because everyone expects you to act normal. I KNOW that's true of CP, anyways--the fewer the symptoms, the more emotional/psychological stress you get--because when you are "almost normal", people expect a great deal more of you, and reject you more easily, and expect you to "try harder" rather than assuming things are impossible (which has problems of its own, of course...)
Edit: Oh, yeah--I agree with the above posters. Judging on stereotypes is ridiculous. Especially when you're dealing with autistics, who are more diverse than NTs by quite a lot. All you can see is the public "face" anyways--you'd have to look at not just how they look to you NOW, but how they look under stress and in a good environment, how they do daily stuff, what it takes to go past their coping skills, how much of what they intend to say is what they actually say... and all that while realizing that you can't even depend on the shown emotions being anything like the felt emotions, so you have to find out about that by asking the person--and make sure that when you're asking you're getting an actual answer instead of miscommunication. Stereotypes might be easy but they're a huge hindrance. You can't read autistics like you read NTs. We're written in a different language.
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Heck, if you stutter at the wrong time, say something the wrong way, etc... you can be deemed different and given almost no chance.
MY biggest problem was NOT really that they expected more of me, but that their expectations were SKEWED! I can do some things well that it seems most can't, and have trouble doing some things it seems most can. That means people didn't want to let me do what I could do, and expected me to do what I had trouble with.
And I agree with SabbraCadabra. AS is MILD. There is enough intelligence and ability that people(at least those that know you well) don't figure you have any such trouble, so they assume it is because you are lazy, not trying, etc...
I'm happy I am not so obviously bad, but it WOULD be nice if people always realized what I was REALLY like. Luckily, my employers and friends do today.
I have noticed that at school, the people there judged my functionality and daily living skills primarily based on how frequently I stimmed, which of course is absurd.
Also, people expect that because I'm fluently verbal, and can speak at most times (though it is relatively frequent for me to lose communicative speech for awhile), that my language and speech difficulties consist entirely of difficulty with non-literal language.
WRONG! I actually don't have difficulty with figurative language, written or spoke, in fiction, non-fiction, or conversation, but I DO have difficulties initiating speech, or say one thing (like 'pencil') when I mean another (like 'cup'), and often use echolalia, as well as having difficulty finding the word I mean (which leads me, like many authors, to make unusual gestures and noises to find the word I'm looking for, though most of the authors who do this only do it in front of the keyboard, not necessarily in conversation or other situations).
People also have assumed on academic skills that I must not have processing difficulties, or difficulty with executive function, and don't understand why it may take me 2-4 hours to get ready in the morning for school, even after I explain it. They also don't understand how someone who seems so intelligent may have difficulty learning a new process like how to work a cash register (as with my dad) or doing the laundry (as with me).
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I don't understand why it's a big deal for others to think yours is mild.
Mine is mild and it doesn't bother me when others say the same about me, even if they say "very mild." My boyfriend says very mild. My ex said Moderate. It was based on how often I had my moments. I was depressed at the time and it was the kind of situation I was in so it probably brought mine up. But it seemed that way but it's always the same level. It will seem worse if I am stressed. I can also appear to not have it if everything is perfectly fine and normal, nothing to cause me to get stressed or have anxiety. My boyfriend hardly does anything to trigger my symptoms.
I say I'm mild or very mild.
I have also had others say to me online "Are you sure yours in mild?" or "Are you sure you're borderline?"
Well those people don't know me in real life so how would they know. They can't base how bad mine is on what I am saying about myself and what I am talking about.
"Wow, your AS is so mild you don't need help (which is good because we don't have time for you)."
"Wow, your AS is so mild you can help other people! Isn't that great! (We don't have time for anyone else, so you can do it.)"
Me: But how do I get enough money to eat healthy?
"You don't need food! What is food compared to the joy of helping people with real problems???"
Sheesh! People see what they want to see. Don't take 'em seriously.
CanyonWind
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Don't nobody tell me my aspiehood is mild, 'cause I don't never talk to nobody.
Nothing obviously wrong, ain't nothing severe, just some guy nobody can stand being around.
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Ah, yeah right. I didn't describe it so great;
Not a big deal from all others - but from those others who have a say about what I must do and must not do and who expect strongly from me.
For example, in school, they called me in during breaks and took me out of classes without any prior warning and sent me to several teachers and once even the headmaster because they insisted I must go on a trip far abroad for 1 week with about 40 other students.
They just didn't want to believe my ASD could be a problem because I appeared so normal and good on the mornings in school usually.
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Autism + ADHD
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The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. Terry Pratchett
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