Rice Pudding

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Drat. I just thought of this one, and made the mistake of looking it up.
I could have recited it from childhood memory, but no, I had to look.
I would have said this one is about Asperger's.
But someone got to it already and made it about Anorexia
And some one else made a parody about the psychiatric industry in general.
Do you suppose we can all share it?
It's the same emperor, and he's just as naked from every angle.
(Although, perhaps, some angles are less attractive than others.)

Rice Pudding
Original by A.A. Milne

What is the matter with Mary Jane?
She's crying with all her might and main,
And she won't eat her dinner - rice pudding again -
What is the matter with Mary Jane?

What is the matter with Mary Jane?
I've promised her dolls and a daisy-chain,
And a book about animals - all in vain -
What is the matter with Mary Jane?

What is the matter with Mary Jane?
She's perfectly well, and she hasn't a pain;
But, look at her, now she's beginning again! -
What is the matter with Mary Jane?

What is the matter with Mary Jane?
I've promised her sweets and a ride in the train,
And I've begged her to stop for a bit and explain -
What is the matter with Mary Jane?

What is the matter with Mary Jane?
She's perfectly well and she hasn't a pain,
And it's lovely rice pudding for dinner again!
What is the matter with Mary Jane?

====================

Parody By Janice Hartley
http://www.asylumonline.net/archive/v13_n2_bc.htm

What is the matter with Mary Jane?
She isn’t sick and she hasn’t a pain
And it’s medication time again
What is the matter with Mary Jane?

What is the matter with Mary Jane?
We’ve asked her and asked her to try and explain,
But she wants to go home, we may have to restrain,
What is the matter with Mary Jane?

What is the matter with Mary Jane?
She’s begging and pleading and crying again,
The poor girl’s deluded, completely insane,
What is the matter with Mary Jane?

What is the matter with Mary Jane?
We’ve given her therapy, shocks to the brain,
And more of that nice medication again,
What is the matter with Mary Jane?

What is the matter with Mary Jane?
She twitches and jerks like a doll on a chain,
And still no improvement, it all seems in vain,
What can be the matter with Mary Jane?

So that is the story of Mary Jane?
She wasn’t sick and she hadn’t a pain
But now she won’t ever be quite right again,
What have we done to you Mary Jane?

Rice pudding is so gross with all those grainy things inside.

I'm not sure I get it, but I must admit I really like rice pudding. Kozy Shack is the best.

I love rice pudding! I love the way it feels in my mouth, and the way it taste! Sooo good!

I could probably eat rice pudding every day.

I have had good rice pudding and bad rice pudding, it is all in the recipe. Hint: Coconut Milk tastes great in rice pudding. I don't like it if it has raisins in it because they get all soggy and swollen. This reminds me of how some roaches looked one time when I saw some that had drowned in a partially filled Coke bottle and baked all day in the hot Florida sun.

Hmm. I liked the raisin kind, until you said that. I probably will still like it, you just have to give me a day or so. I bet it is good with coconut milk. So many things are good with coconut milk.

I just realized that rice pudding is one of the things in life that makes me very happy.

Ewwww...rice pudding. Anything sweet and gooey makes me gag.

Rice Pudding
This was a hint toward the abuse-causes-autism theme.
Control and power games, forms of abuse that have not been recognized by the shrinks.
That they willfully ignore.
That they perpetuate and encourage.
Why would it be bad to force a kid to eat rice pudding? Everyone loves rice pudding, unless you're crazy. If you're crazy, I need to force you to be sane, and the right medicine for that is more rice pudding.
Fireworks are good, too. If you don't like them, you're crazy. Same treatment. Rince and Repeat. Until the kid either goes into a coma or toughens up.

There is no way you could force me to eat rice pudding. I just cannot handle the lumpiness, the uneveness, the roughness of the rice grains in the smoothness of the pudding.

Some of my favorite textures:

Chocolate Mousse
Cool Whip
Cheese Cake ( I love the dryness of the graham cracker crumb crust with the thickness of nearly frozen cheese cake filling)
Readi Whip
B K Oreo Sundae Shake (one of my all times faves)
B K cookie dough pie wedges
bread pudding
Sam's Choice Refreshing Mixer Club Soda.
Flan
properly made Cream of Wheat
ultra crispy oreo cookies
Pumpkin Pie filling
Pumpkin Pie Crust
Cinnamon Toast Cereal
Cheerios (because of the dryness of the OoOoOs)
Pastrami (it is very dry)
Toasted Great Value Whole Wheat bread (it is generic but it has a dry, crispy texture like no other brand. I only like it toasted, it's too mushy otherwise)
fried pies- all kinds of flavors (like the kind you find at the speciality stores devoted to the making of the fried pie, homemade and fresh, NOT the grocery store kind)
rice milk
half and half ( I don't like regular milk. Cannot explain why. It just tastes weird. Half and half has this texture and lightness even though it is fattening)
pancakes
Lindel's Chocolate Truffles (dark, milk and white)
yogurt
strawberries with mangos
ultra dry thanksgiving day turkey
candy corn
avocados
potatos
Seventh Heaven cookies
Anything Chips Ahoy
Anything Brownies

I need to try the avocado slices on the Triscuits. Usually I slice them and eat them in sandwiches but on Triscuits sounds really good. Sometimes I eat slices of hard boiled eggs on various cracker styles.

I'm telling you, triscuits are the way to go.
I can't do hard boiled eggs. The insides are too pasty. And I don't like the taste. And they come from a chicken's hoohoodilly.