suicide

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Ive thought about it. I feel autistic deep in my bones, but i got dx as psychosis-nos, the doc wont change it i cant afford to see a paid one (i go to goverment clinic) and ive thought maybe dying would be better =_= to make it all go away. No one seems to understand why simple things are so damn hard for me.

Ive thought about it, and even had some half hearteda tatemps at it, but if did die I wouldnt have those rare good things that happen. I try to rember all the times I had wanted to die but then had something good happen afterwards, so keep going.

i am just so tired. i sleep restlessly every night i know how bad it is gona be when i get up and I try but things always f**k up.

Then live in spite to nonexistence, tell it NOT TODAY! Your not going win today you hear that!

I understand why simple things seem hard.

Stay with us.
Things that NTs think are simple are not simple at all.
Don't listen to them when they are not helpful.

When you look at the emperor and see that he is naked, it's because he is.
Simple, basic, objective reality.

THEY can't handle it, so they have invented this whole, complex, mass hallucination.
Can you say, "Matrix?" It is not simple. It is incredibly complex.
And it is not real. There is no spoon.

But if you can't see it, they think you're defective. And if you comment that the emperor is naked, they want to take you away in a straight jacket.

Don't let them hurt you, or make you believe their crazy s**t.
It's not you, it's them.
Just stay with us.

Last edited by Tahitiii on 12 Aug 2008, 8:38 pm, edited 2 times in total.

i feel like i dont belong anywhere. am afraid to tell my doctor because i dont want to end up in a hospital, almost ended up there once already.

i need someone to convince me not to, need to talk about it or ill just sit there and think about it. where to get something like sleeping pills i could just swallow it all away.

I often feel like there is not much to live for and it would be easier, but there is going to be something, I find comfort in philosophy. Just that things could be worse and that this point of life is a test and I will be stronger for it, though we cant see the light now doesnt mean it is not there.

i know how isolating it is to be autistic so giving advice is very hard but just because of the fact that not many autistics are scared to die makes you think to not make a mistake just dont try to play with powers you dont know (in complicated words that is)

live so you can have good things happen, live to spit into the abyss of nonexistance, If you need to go see a doctor, if they can help it would be worth a stay in the hospital...i know i was in one for some time when they were trying to see what was wring with me

If you're thinking about suicide, you must tell someone.

But you need to be careful who you tell. The kind of treatment you'll get from most NTs is worse than the disease.

The people here, at WP, can not give you drugs, if that's what you need.
But they can help you to define reality.

Start a thread here, about your specific problem.
Someone will be able to say, "I've been there."

Last edited by Tahitiii on 12 Aug 2008, 8:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I often feel so tired that I don't know how much longer I can go on for but there are so many things worth living for, you need to be at peace with yourself it's not an easy thing to do but your life is worth far too much to end it.

You are not alone there are others who feel the way you do, I try hard to counter my problems with the things that mean most to me in life, I only hope you read these messages and realise there are people who really do understand you.

I know the feeling.
Sometimes I wonder why I continue existing. I mean, I really don't have any sort of future...
But what I try to do, is find to do to keep my mind off of such a depressing subject. Watch some funny videos, draw, write, build something, go outside and watch birds, play a videogame, just do something. Exercise a bit if you can, it usually improves mood.

Hope you get over this soon.

I am feeling, why not.

My brother has had 2 best friends commit suicide. I have seen first hand what happens. Twice.

You may think that it's an answer, but the only person it's an answer for is yourself. For everyone else around you, it leaves nothing but open questions and pain.

You may feel like no one understands you, but I can assure you, someone (probably many people) love you. You may believe that it will solve your problems, but it will cause nothing but heartache and pain for every single person around you. You might as well just get up and punch your mother in the chest, because that'll feel 100x better than what she'll go through.




One of my brother's best friends that committed suicide while my brother was at a swim meet when he was 15 called my dad a few weeks after he died and asked if my brother was okay and hung up. I consider it proof that those that commit suicide feel shame and guilt in the afterlife. It's not a resolution.

Suicide is never the answer, I have been through all that too, it is painful, and you want everything to end. But you must see the light at the end of the tunnel. Please, call a hot line, do not make the choice of suicide, get some help.

when i was in high school my best friend went to another school in town. some guy in her school, who she knew but not well, suicided. she told me about it and it hurt me. i was sad about it for a few weeks, and i had never even heard of him before. and it's 15 years later and i still remember all of that and how it hurt.

but a lot of the time i've felt exactly like this:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHihavkO-pw[/youtube]
and back in the day i wanted to print up hundreds of copies of a picture of a bullet with the caption 'the 79 cent solution' and post it all around my 60000 student campus, but i was too avolitioned to.
i went thru a lot of painful years where what kept me hanging on was the curiosity of what would happen in the future, and that i'd like to see it because it was going to be totally interesting, and it didn't matter what condition i ended up in while i was seeing it. and what finally helped was drugs. starting with prozac, then a dozen others, and finally wellbutrin and lamictal and piracetam and phenibut and bacopa and some others. plus the ubu cycle, by alfred jarry. if you read all 3 pieces of it, it will change your life. all lifes are equally valid, and it doesn't matter if you're master or servant or slave, you're still experiencing experience, and that's all that counts. amazing books, amazing world view.

but i still like that song. pretty and sentimental.