empathy=to showing emotions?

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Can one be autistic and get angry or throw tantrums? Yes! I have seen it and done it. Can one cry as an Asperger moved by their own emotions or out of self pity? I think it is possible.

Then how can it be that when one hurts another and see tear do not cry or feel ice cold?

So, I get confused where empathy starts and where emotion begins?? if you have Asperger with AHDD mixed it becomes quite complex and things start to get overlapping??

I am confused. I have 15 on 80 on empathy and yet I can cry sometimes....

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1. You can be empathetic without showing emotions. It's not the best way but it's possible.
2. You can show emotion without being empathetic... this isn't nice at all.

Empathy without showing Emotion
A neighbour loses his wife in a car accident. He's walking around feeling quite sad, perhaps blaming himself because he was supposed to make the trip. You can understand exactly why he is sad even though you don't personally feel sad about it.

Emotion without Empathy
Your wife has had a bad day, she feels lonely and depressed being at home with just the kids to talk to. You come home to find dinner isn't ready and you get angry (showing emotion). She tries to tell you about her day but you just get angrier... after all, you think, she doesn't have to do much at home by herself.

Empathy and Emotion Together
In the neighbour case above, you feel sad for him. You say, "I know how you feel... that must be awful". You resist the temptation to offer advice of "don't blame yourself, knowing that he wants to feel guilty". Perhaps you help him by inviting him over for a meal.

In the wife example, you walk into the house and immediately realise that something is wrong. You ask her what's wrong and you give her some love and patience. Perhaps you tell her to relax while you cook dinner - and perhaps you arrange a weekend without the kids.

My guess is that empathy is subjective. That is to say, that empathy is your perception of someone else's emotion. Therefore, when they say you lack empathy, what they are really saying is that they can't tell what you're feeling (or, they think you aren't feeling what they expect you should). Likewise, if they say you have empathy, it just means they think you feel what they expect (because of the outward signs). Empathy, therefore, is horrendously subjective. And when people don't realize this, they start condemning people for "lacking empathy" not because that person doesn't feel, but because they don't show it "correctly" (which is to say, as expected).