Only you can prevent forest fires

Post Reply New Topic

Did you know that elves are in danger due to forest fires? Sometimes mortals make the mistake of oops accidentally pouring gasoline on trees and setting them on fire as they run off muhahahaing. Elves die over this.

You can help. Please join the cause in spreading elf awareness.

You assert we can help, but appear to have neglected any information as to what we might do to help. Lacking a plan for effective action, please forgive us if our response to the elf-plight you describe fails to effect any change for the better.

Added link of webpage in profile. Thank you kind humans!

what does an elf look like?

What does an elf smell like? What do they eat? What do they drive? Furthermore, what are the diagnostic criteria?

Whats santa like?
Just because the others said elf instead of elve

Silly person, elves live in hills not forests. And they are evil.

Only me and noone else, what a responsibility!

I love the scent of burning elves in the morning.

Just kidding. Almost.

That's right, Eggman - only you can prevent forest fires. Not the Department of the Interior, not the fire department - even the elves themselves are helpless in the face of this threat! (Why do you think so many of them agree to live in virtual slavery at the North Pole, making toys for a fat white guy who only works one day a year? No forests there!)

And of course, that means I have no responsibility, either...

STOP ELF SLAVERY NOW!

Wots all this then about florist friars at the North Pole?

Many elves escaped the clutches of that horrible man Santa Claus but that can't be said for alot of other elves who are now slaves to mortal children making toys and even rubbing Santa's crusty feet.

It's an awful fate. Santa also eats fairies to keep himself alive.

Famous elves exist among mortals passing themselves off as mortals. One mortal elf is Tori Amos. She hides her ears. Mortals make elves ashamed of their ears and some even have plastic ear surgery just to fit in. Even after that, they are still in fact....elves!

Common traits of elves physically are mostly ears. Some have very pointy ears, not all. Some just have a minor point at the top. It's not like how the media portrays to scare mortals.

Not all elves are nice either. Some elves turned to the dark side after being a slave to the Keebler cookie factory. They revolted, became rebellious and stayed that way then they turned into biker elves.

There are many elves that exist in the mortal realm. Sadly most elves are labelled with some mental defect and drugged in an attempt to convince elves that they are humans.

There are alot of hints in dreams that occur or even when awake that you are an elf trying to blend into human society.

lohst Q, ahm-bar