Another Am I? Could I? AS thread.

Post Reply New Topic

I went through a series of tests at a clinic a few months ago to determine whether or not I am on the autistic spectrum. All of the results showed negative. It was a long, drawn out test over the period of a few sessions. As a child I was diagnosed with ADHD but we came to the conclusion that I have grown out of it (during the test). The reason I took these tests was because my much younger half brother was diagnosed with AS (aspeger), and my mother put the idea into my head. I have however suffered much with a condition called BDD and depression on and off, which can lead to an isolated lifestyle. Still, even though I have taken the tests, I am still concerned.

As a child I was shown to have a very high IQ. Although I didn't do well in school. I think during this period I really suffered with ADHD. Anyway, regardless of my IQ, I am not particularly good at anything, I am terrible at maths, and have no apparent talents. I do have quite an ability for detecting BS, reading faces, signals, knowing what a person is thinking/feeling, reading body language, reacting appropriately and being able to adapt. I am also very good at talking and conversation, I'm not boring, I know how to talk the talk to girls, I can be quick witted and funny, versatile. Generally, people always like me, lots of people have loved going out drinking with me. I love touching and intimacy, even with men, (not in a gay way)
I enjoy sex, and seduction. When I feel confident, I enjoy socialising and going out. I don't have any obsessions, except maybe for foreign film, but that's not something I'd ever tell anyone about LOL. I have good taste in clothes, good fashion etc. I am not clumsy or over sensitive. I have good eye contact with people. Sometimes on a very odd occasion I can really lose my temper and bash things/punch the wall. I don't have any OCD's. Sometimes I get this amazing feeling of wanting to do something, achieve something, like the learning of something, and then when it turns out to be difficult, I lose heart very quickly. I can't think of anything else.
I guess when I think about it, it doesn't make sense for me to have the condition, but then I read about people who supposedly have it but they seem normal, or don't show the typical symtoms. I don't know what to think..

Usually, if you have AS and seem normal, it is because you have been working quite hard at seeming normal, whether because you are ashamed of your AS, or because you strongly want to communicate with NTs on their wavelength. People who grow up unaware that they have AS and spent a lot of time trying to look normal often describe a feeling of "living a lie" or "wearing a mask", to the point that the discovery of having AS can mean having to re-define their idea of who they are.

Many NTs have feelings like this, too, of course; most people change themselves a little depending on who they are socializing with. In the case of AS, those feelings are specifically along the lines of having to work very hard to understand what others mean, hiding one's "immature" or "unacceptably weird" interests, suppressing stims, and doing things a certain way because others do it that way, even though it seems nonsensical (for example, copying "small talk" despite not gaining anything from it).

Many siblings of autistic people do have some autistic traits--things that don't cause any trouble, and so don't warrant a diagnosis, but are reminiscent of autism. And of course there are other "neurodiverse" conditions--ADHD and the learning disabilities, among others--that can cause a feeling of being different without Asperger's traits. ADHD, incidentally, often settles down in adulthood without completely vanishing. ADHD adults can lose their hyperactivity, while retaining disorganization and poor attention control, and can require training or even medication in adulthood.

I wouldn't worry to much about whether you have it or not I would just try to live the best life I could live. You seem to have alot of good things going for you. Always be yourself and dont care about what other peope may say or think about you.

So what are the reasons you think you may have AS? It wasn't clear to me from your original post.

From what I got, the OP seems to be worrying that he could have "hidden" AS traits, because his brother has been diagnosed and some Aspies seem normal.

There you go.

My older sister has ADHD [who is like you in how you explain yourself], and I have Autistic Disorder; just because I have the latter doesn't mean she has it.

By the description you gave, you most certainly are not Aspie.

I normally would qualify such a statement with a comment about the unreliability of online diagnoses. In this case it is not necessary to do so. You are assuredly NT. But, we'd still be glad to have you around here.

Welcome to WP!

if you have a.s. socialising should be super hard also your character seems nt seems like you have rather adhd sinds you can easly grow angry and you cant grow out of adhd completely sinds it will always make you forgetable about the IQ as a child seems confusing i woulnd be able to tell how that comes maybe you have more consentration problems now im sure your not nt sinds your life is not similiar to nt but also not to asperger syndrome
welcome maybe do some reasearch on this website maybe youll find the answer

>>Sometimes I get this amazing feeling of wanting to do something, achieve something, like the learning of something, and then when it turns out to be difficult, I lose heart very quickly.<<

This sounds very ADHDish to me. As other posters have commented, you do not sound AS at all, although it's impossible to make a diagnosis online (and I, as a non-professional, have no right to do so anyway). Many shrinks have no clue how to recognize residual ADHD in adults. Just because an adult is not hyperactive doesn't mean s/he's not having a hell of a time focusing or functioning in other ways.