"unreasonable" anger

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for me the main problem of AS is becoming incredibly angry over things that others would not bother other people

almost exclusively these angers occur in the presence of my girlfriend, anything she may do which is normal to her and her fellow NT's enrage me to the point of argument i will create some scenarios which i would get angry about

if she looks at another boy with what i percieve to be a flirtacious manner i will flip

if she talks about sex with others i feel like she has cheated on me or something, betrayed me

if she says something to me i will think about it constantly, often repeating one sentence in my head HUNDREDS of times getting angrier and angrier the more i think about it, then, when i confront her and hear her side of it it makes sense and i calm down and feel guilty

does anyone know any good methods of dealing with this? i know most of it is just misconception, but it certainly does not click straight away

Does your girlfriend know about any of this? Does she know why you get angry?

This is not directly related to AS. If it was, it would happen with other people too. The fact that it happens almost exclusively with your girlfriend, and includes irrational jealousy, indicates that you have a serious problem and need to get some professional assistance. This could well be the early stages of a domestic violence situation. The fact that you acknowledge the problem, and want to do something about it, is commendable. You will succeed if you stay committed. Good luck .

For me, it has to do with my mother's obsession about hiding in her home, locking all the doors, shutting the curtains, etc. when she is home...I never know if she is there or not, when I pass by. She watched our kids for one night while we went to our cabin. Upon coming home, we had our hands full with baggage, and our home was locked up like a fortress, could not get in , knocked at the garage, just about kicked the door in to get her attention, it just pissed me off.. I felt like our kids were in a prison, all the windows were shut, all the doors locked.. you get the idea....She lives alone, but , to me, looking like there are people and LIFE going on in a home is less inviting to a burglar than having it look like no on is there( all closed up). She is going to watch the kids again, and I am going to subtly mention to her to please keep garage open during the day, she will see the driveway much better if our kids want to scooter or such, etc.....The hubby thought I needed to cool down when I vented about this last night, but it really angered me... I remember way back, before people needed to lock their doors , that she would lock the house and I could not get in as a schoolkid, would have to wait on the porch til she got back, and I think that is how I validate my thoughts on this.... Keep the screen door locked, but do not bolt the doors...whoa, I gotta relax now..

It sounds like you might be inadervently terrorizing your mother, what with kicking the door in and all. I think she might be afraid of you.

It's always a special honour when my mom lets me help her. Even if I tell her what I think is wrong and it turns out that I'm correct, she acts like it's much too complicated for a little boy of 29 to understand.

I would like to first point out that, you are only 17. I dont know how long you have been in a relationship, but no matter if it has been since you were 14, you are still, "new". I know for me personally, dealing with jealousy took me until I was around 24 years or so. The question you have to learn to ask yourself, is "Do I trust her?". If you do, until you have reason to answer in any other way, you need to learn to "convince yourself" that you are over-reacting. Don't be afraid to ask her for help either. This is what relationships are about, learning to work together on a very personal level. If she loves you, this won't be a problem.
I do see that your repeating yourself, over and over, (I dont know if that is an NT thing as well, but I do that to, so it might be an AS trait), might be part of the problem. Why do you repeat it over and over to yourself? Are you "psyching yourself up" for a fight, trying to get courage to confront her, what it the reason behind it. If it is something you just do, with no reason, and that builds the anger, than I would suggest that the moment that you realize that you are doing it, is the moment you need to talk to her about whatever it is, rather than wait till you are angry about it.

You sound like the jealous type and not necessarily the angry-type. Some people have a lot of problems with jealousy, but it will destroy your relationships with other people if you can't find a way to trust others.

Young people always seem to have a degree of jealousy.

I struggle with unreasonable anger as well. I feel like I'm Bruce Banner turning into the big green guy.

I mostly get angry over my own physical mistakes (that is to say, dropping things and so on), more than is proper, especially when I'm literally crying over spilt milk.
I try not to get upset at other people though. I try and factor in my own irritability to any emotional response, so I don't act unkindly.