Aspergers or more?

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I worry sometimes that even with having Aspergers I am further back than where I should be.

I am twenty three and still living with my mom. I’ve never been out on my own or even attempted to do so. When I say that, I mean living in an apartment/house on my own

I’ve never had a job. Not even a part time job. I only recently (last month) even applied to places...and that was my mom that applied for me. It was those online applications. It isn’t that I don’t want to work, simply that I fear the process of work.

I also don’t drive. I hate it and fear it. The only time I have really driven is for very, very short distances on a dirt road (less than two miles) and even then I was near panic attack.

I have zero friends. I’ve had them in the past although that was when I was in high school. Now since I don’t have chance to go anywhere... I have none. Even when I did attempt taking classes a a local college, I failed really to make friends. I had accquaintices sure... but never a friendship. People seemed to like me.... I just never really took a step further.

One reason that I was terrified to (can one suffer from social phobia as well?) and another reason... I didn’t really have much in common with such people.

We don’t have a lot of money... or my mom doesn’t for me to go to any clubs/etc/therapy and living out in the stick means no bus or means of public transportation. So for the most part I stay at home doing nothing but reading, going online or watching tv. I help out around the house and such... but it ain’t much of a life.

I have meltdowns at time, over such childish and small things.. like if plans change or else someone is overly harssh with me. I know it is a stupid thing to get bent out of shape over, but is never untill after I snap than I see that logic

I just... I don’t know. Emotionally I feel my age is that of a teenager and a young one at that, perhaps even a pre-teen. I still have interests as some (toys/etc) I have to have people take me places and I just feel like I should be doing a helluva more than I’m currently doing.

Hell, I see eighteen year olds already living on their own. Sixteen year olds driving and having a job. It makes me so pissed at myself.

Yet at the same time I see myself as intelligent as anyone my age and can hold up a conversation with people my age and older. I’m not an idiot.... which makes it even harder as I can see I have a problem and I should be above to fix it.



...This had turned into a bicthfest and I apologize. I was just curious if anyone is was or is in the same boat as me. Or do you think it could also be something else?

Part of me is afraid it is me being a lazy coward. I don’t want to be though. I want to work and drive and have a life... I just don’t see myself as a mature enough person.

You're not lazy. I know that because people as distressed about your situation as you are tend to try as hard as they can. To be truly lazy, you would have to just not care. It's obvious that you do. There's only so much willpower in the world, in any case; and it's usually not the solution to "just try harder". Working on the problems in your life (and working around them instead of trying to bash through with brute force) is a better solution, because the only willpower you need for that is enough to just keep trying to figure out new solutions or implement the ones you've found. Accusing yourself of laziness does nothing but cause unnecessary guilt.

Your situation is not uncommon among Aspies. I don't know the exact figures, but we do tend to stay at home longer, be unemployed or underemployed more often, have fewer friends, marry later in life, and in general mature more slowly both socially and emotionally. You may be fairly typical--possibly quite near the Aspie average. However, remember that we do grow and learn, just as any human being does; your situation now and your skills now will not be the same forever.

Most adults with AS live at home, most don't work in the traditional way, and most have few or no friends. This is due to the Asperger's itself.

You fit this.