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SteelMaiden
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20 Sep 2008, 12:34 pm

I am female, 18 years old.

Ever since arond the time I turned 12, I've become more and more like a man.

I once looked at a table saying "female characteristics" and "male characteristics". I didn't qualify for a single "female characteristic", but I got all but one of the "male characteristics".

I dress like a man, I get along better with men than women in terms of friendships (because I have more in common with men than women), I even sit like a man apparently.

Put me in a group of typical 18 year old girls and I stick out very obviously as being starkly different in appearance, emotion, conversation topics etc.
Put me in a group of typical 18 year old males and I stick out less and am more likely to share conversation topics.

I hate woman-ly things like women's clothes (I always go to the men's department) and the way that my body is made (with woman-ly curves and bits if you understand).

I would be happier to be male. I hate being female.

Is anyone else like this?

Additional: is this anything to do with my AS or am I just odd?


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CyclopsSummers
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20 Sep 2008, 12:51 pm

Looking at your post, I would say you're androgynous (though leaning heavily toward the male aspect) and transsexual. Don't worry if it appears as though "female characteristics" are a rule set in stone or anything, because they aren't.

Transsexuality and Asperger's syndrome aren't tied together, but quite a bunch of posters here have expressed that they are either androgynous or care little for the 'distinctions' and the patterns that are made between the sexes. Don't hate being female, though; there IS a certain expectation society ties to how men/women are 'supposed to' behave, but don't pay heed to that, you should be fine. Sure, you won't be running with the pack, but, as you know, that's overrated anyway.


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2ukenkerl
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20 Sep 2008, 1:03 pm

WOW, what a thing to say. I pictured you as more feminine than you indicate in that post.

More and more women ARE moving towards clothes that are closer to mens.

I wish more women saw men more like they can be, and like some are, as opposed to a southpark type view.

Frankly, I never got along with males at school until after highschool.

As for the way you describe your curves, etc... you sound feminine to me. :lol:

As for whether this is AS, etc??? Well, I think I have anhedonia, and it seems many with AS do. I DO get enjoyment from learning something worthwhile, but it seems that so many other things are just devoid of it. If YOU had the same problem, you might not really enjoy being a woman, and seeing men experience what you aren't might make you feel THAT is the problem.

Some women are just SHALLOW(Even if they think they aren't), and your interests and special abilities tend to be more common with men that aren't. That means you could have an overly bad view of women, and an overly good one of men.

BTW I hope everyone realizes I am talking about only SOME women!



SteelMaiden
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20 Sep 2008, 1:37 pm

Thanks for the replies, they have helped a lot.

My Mother often says I should be a man.

I also do weightlifting/strength-building, which far less women do than men. I also have bulky thigh muscles, which my Mother says is "not feminine" (but I don't give a sh*t about being feminine!). I have been said to be very strong for a girl of my size. I love kickboxing and I have got into physical fights before, and that's not the "cat fights" that are typically associated with feminine women, its the full-blown punching and wrestling to the ground.

I think I am mentally male, and physically woman, but part man in the way my muscles are built.

Interesting.

Your posts are all very informative.


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PunkyKat
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20 Sep 2008, 1:47 pm

I know what you mean. When I was younger I always wanted to be a boy instead of a girl. Manily because my mother would force me to wear dresses and girly cloathing. I was always told I needed to be more feminine. Girls would gasp about how I didn't mind getting dirty. I never played with dolls or had any desire too. I LOVED to go outside and look for insects. I was not scared by touching worms or bugs. It's not so bad as an adlut because my parents can't tell me what to wear anymore. I just can't relate to other women and their problems. I've always related better to men. I never wear woman's cloating but then I wear what would be considered gender nutral cloathing.



UndercoverAlien
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20 Sep 2008, 1:57 pm

ow so thats why your name is steelmaiden lol xD
you do know that men have womenhormones and womens have men hormones means that if you live like a man (like sporting and eating the right stuff) that you become more manly and hairy and if you act like a girl eating things with femine hormones in it and be lazy then you actualy act more girly so acctualy whe all have both sexes in us if you do kickbocks then youll body probbely will grow more muscelary wich is good acctualy because your still in your grow so acctualy as evolution goes its meant for women to not do on sports even how wierd it sounds or atleast not so much i think if you'd quit sporting (expecialy kickboxing that made you most menly) then youll grow more female



sirtlan
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20 Sep 2008, 2:27 pm

Sounds like you could be a female-to-male transsexual (ftm for short). If that's the case, it would probably have little or nothing to do with AS. There are plenty of websites and forums out there about transexuality, transgenderism, genderqueers, etc. You might want to look into it?



2ukenkerl
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20 Sep 2008, 2:43 pm

SteelMaiden wrote:
Thanks for the replies, they have helped a lot.

My Mother often says I should be a man.

I also do weightlifting/strength-building, which far less women do than men. I also have bulky thigh muscles, which my Mother says is "not feminine" (but I don't give a sh*t about being feminine!). I have been said to be very strong for a girl of my size. I love kickboxing and I have got into physical fights before, and that's not the "cat fights" that are typically associated with feminine women, its the full-blown punching and wrestling to the ground.

I think I am mentally male, and physically woman, but part man in the way my muscles are built.

Interesting.

Your posts are all very informative.


Well, more and more women are fighting like that also. And, unless you are taking steroids, you probably still look feminine even if you are strong. But you are LIGHT! At least according to your profile. Like 86 pounds!?!? WOW!



2ukenkerl
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20 Sep 2008, 2:59 pm

UndercoverAlien wrote:
ow so thats why your name is steelmaiden lol xD
you do know that men have womenhormones and womens have men hormones means that if you live like a man (like sporting and eating the right stuff) that you become more manly and hairy and if you act like a girl eating things with femine hormones in it and be lazy then you actualy act more girly so acctualy whe all have both sexes in us if you do kickbocks then youll body probbely will grow more muscelary wich is good acctualy because your still in your grow so acctualy as evolution goes its meant for women to not do on sports even how wierd it sounds or atleast not so much i think if you'd quit sporting (expecialy kickboxing that made you most menly) then youll grow more female


Although exercise CAN slightly increase testosterone, women don't have nearly as much testosterone as men do. And men don't have nearly as much estrogen as women. Heck, look at http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/08/22/ ... terone.php . They tried to make womens bodies react like mens, naturally, and they DIDN'T! BESIDES, taking too much testosterone will cause women to have other problems. The only one I will say in this topic is not have a child.

It is overly simplistic to think that lifestyle drives all this, because a sedintary woman can STILL look feminine, and a sedintary man can STILL look masculine. And ovaries ARE very different from testicles even if they are connected in the same place, and developed from the same tissue.



Jellybean
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20 Sep 2008, 3:50 pm

I have a similar issue, however I wouldn't go as far to say that either of us are transsexuals. Although this isn't true for all femail Aspies, a lot of us have more male interests or dress in male clothes. I watch boy's cartoons, wear boys clothes and even act like a boy but I have a MAJOR crush on Hugh Laurie (only when he is playing House!) so I know I am a girl! Yeah, I know he's like 40 years older than me...


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philosopherBoi
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20 Sep 2008, 4:20 pm

Your not odd in least bit, however it has nothing to do with AS. Some people are born into the wrong body it happens and maybe you were too, they can correct it for a price. If you ever need to talk let me know k ^_^.


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Kauf039
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20 Sep 2008, 5:41 pm

I also wear male/androgynous clothing, don't have "female" intrests and never did. There were times when I thought that I was born the incorrect gender and a. I have realized however I have always been comfortable as I am (and quite like it) just not as others expect me to be. For myself, it is all just stupid expectations from people who expect all others to be a certain way.
(Not to mention, if I were male I would have to give up my boobies... I'd rather not do that :P )


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LePetitPrince
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20 Sep 2008, 5:45 pm

What's your sexuality? are you sexually attracted to males or females? That's an important point that you didn't mention.

I noticed too that you are showing your msn address on your profile , females usually hide them :lol:.



Amitiel
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20 Sep 2008, 5:48 pm

I hope this doesn't upset or offend, but I thought you were a male,
bit dumb of me really, considering your name.

Anyway, you are one of my more favourite posters. Your posts have substance.



iceb
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20 Sep 2008, 5:57 pm

Well SteelMaden,

I think it is much easer for for people who like us have had to learn to both read and show body language in a way NT's do not to adjust it to change gender.

I am trangender male to female and I have to say for me it has brought me very much happiness.

You are the only person who can make the decision to take the trangender road which can be long, slow and anything but easy.

Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss or have questions I might be able to answer.


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Shastania
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20 Sep 2008, 6:27 pm

Everything that SteelMaden has just said, I agree with 100% for I feel exactly the same way.
Why, only earlier today, I told my mother that were it not for the fact I'd like to start a family sometime in the not-too-distent future, I'd get a full hysterectomy as I hated the anaemia, mood swings and general suckiness of getting periods.

That aside, I too have expressed apprehension over expectations of being "feminine".
When I wear a dress or make-up or when I have to shave my legs in order to wear said dress, I feel as though I am perpetuating a lie- "This is not who I am" in other words. I feel like a child playing dress up in their mother's clothing box and it makes me very uncomfortable to wear stereotypical "woman" clothing.

Granted, in the last number of years, I've been trying to make an effort to embrace the gender I was born into but it hasn't been easy.
When I first cut my hair short (going from shoulder lenght to a pixie crop), my brother called me a "dyke" and told me I looked like a man.

My mother sometimes expresses passive-aggressive annoyance and disappointment over the fact that I'm not GIRLY but she's come to terms with the fact that I am a "tomboy".

I once told her I was bisexual when I was 15 and she staunchly said: "No, you're not bisexual. It's just a phase." and left it like that. Nowadays, I realise I am androynous and bi-curious though I sometimes lean towards my own gender.

Yet despite this, I also like men. Talk about confusion!

Even so, there is nothing wrong in being androynous. The important factor is that you are happy, healthy and full of life. People object because maybe they can't understand or they are under the pretense of working on outdated gender-specific stereotypes but that is their opinion and it is not neccessarily the right one.

Live your life how YOU and YOU ALONE want to live it. After all, it's YOUR life.