A mother's lesson in social skills

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A colleague was on the phone with her son today, so loudly that the whole corridor and offices along it could hear the conversation. It went like this (almost word by word):

My colleague: "So how did it go?"
Her son: ---- (I couldn't hear him, of course)
She: "He has very good contacts, you have to suck up to him! Do suck up to him! But not like a puppy! In an intelligent way!"
He: -----
She: "They gave you food? Good! Next time make sure they give you what you usually eat. But don't ask too much, lest they think you're problematic. And he has very good connections, he can get you a good job."
...........

Erm...I was hoping for some comments...

Forum's been slow today.
All I can say is that I've been "the son" numerous times. Poor thing. My mother thinks like this. I always attributed it to growing up in the 1950's.

Funny how she doesn't want him to act like a puppy, but she's sure training him to be one.

Well, I suppose it's good to give someone some guidance, but this seems a bit extreme. I don't recall ever hearing anyone give advice in this manner. It's also somewhat confusing...don't suck up in a puppy way, be intelligent. What the heck does that even mean???

Thank you all for the comments!

I was appalled that someone would admit at work, loudly for everyone including the boss to hear, to sucking up to those who can give them a job.

Do it so he doesn't notice.

I believe that most people are exactly like that. At least she's conscious
enough to know what she is. Most people are so thoroughly corrupt that
they don't know it, or know that one can be any other way.
Who else heard it, and did they give a sign of approval or disapproval?

So, now you know what she is made of, and how badly you need to stay away from her.

Did I mention that I hate this world?

Well ...

I guess I would give similar advice, but I wouldn't say it like that, lol. I'd like to think I was being pragmatic, and I'd soften the edges. I don't believe in presenting a false front; it can never be kept up; and that will need to frustration all around. But, still, it's valuable to know how to work through contacts. I have to agree that there is a large "not what you know, but who you know" component to success in the world of work.

So have I. My parents were like that towards me alot, and I never understood any of it. They used to always say I needed to have personality and a glib tongue(whatever that is). They also loved yelling at me all the time and punishing me for not having these things, even though I had no idea what they meant.

If they could have punished me for the rest of my life they would have, they loved punishing me, yet never punished my sister since they once told me they didn't believe in punishing girls.

Prisonersix, my parents used to punish me for not having this too. They were less direct than this woman, though. They called it being kind, but they implied it wss to the right people.

Eavesdropping topic

This sounds like the conversations of people in survival mode. I have read similar conversations and quotations in books on the Jewish Holocaust during the Third Reich. This part of history I have been studying for over forty one years.

This conversation reads as tragic.

didn't believe in punishing girls????? odd.
it does sound like she is training him to be a puppy (her puppy).

My sister was the only girl so she got special treatment. I'd point out things she did and they wouldn't care and once said that girls didn't do bad things so they didn't need to be punished, only boys did bad things.

She often got what she wanted by having a temper tantrum and running to her room and slamming the door. I was never allowed to be upset, angry, etc., I always had to be smiling and happy. When I pointed out my sister's behavior, all I was told was "she's a girl." Apparently to them, being a girl gave you all the rights, and being a boy meant having no rights.

I spent 4 summers as her swimming slave(I've written an essay on that and posted it here, it shouldn't be too hard to find) and a couple of years in college having to follow her around all the time, socializing her way and doing what she did, in order to be supportive of her and keep myself out of a mental institution(my parents actually said those things to me because I didn't socialize the right way or the right amount, aka her way and her amount). I resented all of it, especially since my parents blatantly broke promises to me regarding the way she was treating me and told me it would get better, and of course it didn't until she left home and I was free to socialize and pursue whatever interest I wanted, without having to worry about upsetting her.

It all eventually blew up in their faces with my sister, and she ended up causing my parents alot of misery and costing them alot of money. I felt no sympathy for them at all, considering the years of letting her always have her way, facilitating her mistreatment of me, bending over backwards and catering to her, defending her against anyone no matte what, etc., they had it coming and sometimes, I wish it had hurt them worse.

What you just said was scary to me. We don't need that mentality in our society, we need people to stand up for what is right.

Prisonersix, I could've written your post word by word, that's exactly the story of my family, my sister and me ! !!