SELF DIAGNOSIS ; Can you really know?

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I have done several tests online and each one has me come out with an aspie score.
I have done these tests with honesty & deliberation, but I'm not convinced.

The reason for this is because I don’t have any trouble with body language or facial expressions, in fact I did an online test for emotions in facial expressions and came comfortably in the top 10% of the general population.

I was not surprised, my acute awareness of what other people feel is part of what makes me introverted. I would hate to hurt anyone’s feelings and I often see fleeting things which others initially miss. I see bullies coming a mile off and always avoid drawing their attention very successfully. With an enormous effort I give them a strong first impression so they don’t bother me later.

My social awkwardness would in part come from having prosopagnosia (my brain does not store faces, making it impossible to visualise what people look like and difficult to recognise people if I don’t have prior knowledge that they will be there, including close family). About 2% of the general population have prosopagnosia, and 50% of diagnosed autistics. That was one of the reasons I came here.

I also cannot conduct conversation very smoothly because I have problems with processing auditory input, most noticeably speech. I say “what” while I decipher the sounds into words then get the meaning from those words. My hearing has been tested several times and is normal. Sometimes I don’t get the meaning even after two or three repetitions and give up. Other times I just laugh hoping that was the expected response. But I love to read and have no problem with written words.

Sometimes I cannot make my words come out in the right order in conversation leading to more delay & awkwardness.

I don’t seek out friends, any I have sought me out. If conversing with two or more other people I can never get a word in without interrupting or talking over someone, they leave no gaps that I see, yet they all get to speak without doing that 

I cannot stand to be poked, touched unexpectedly, shouted at, or be around aggressive people. I hate violence on tv too, I don’t get the entertainment value of it. I don’t like relationship type movies either unless they are comedies, they seem so fake and pointless, I like comedies, and alway watch the same two soaps.

I have meltdowns when overwhelmed, especially by the close proximity of others when I am unable to get away.

I cannot bear high pitched sounds, florescent lights or strong smells. I am fussy with my food and obsessive about numbers, patterns, weaving and music, meticulous about details.

I suspected I had autism when I first heard of it aged about 11.

Apparantly I didn't speak until late, but my mum felt I could have if I'd wanted to. I made no friends as a young child. Now I have a friend or two as well as a husband and kids.

I have above average intelligence, especially in “non verbal” subjects such as maths, art & music. I can memorise a map easily, but cannot follow “left & right” directions.

BUT I don’t think I would meet the criteria because the base problem of autism (Aspergers or Kanners) is not being able to tell non verbal cues, like I said at the start I am better than NT at those. In fact I often rely on them when my verbal processing lets me down.

So my symptoms are similar, but my cluster of neurological differences doesn’t include the specific one which actually sets autism apart as a defined condition.

How do others overcome contradictions like this?

Perhaps you have a lesser-known spectrum disorder such as hyperlexia or PDD-NOS.
You sound a lot like myself, especially with the ability to comprehend written language better than verbal language (main symptoms of hyperlexia, actually).

Conversely, human beings may just be creatures of extremely varied neurology and "neurotypicality" may simply not exist.

Good luck with whatever you eventually become diagnosed with (should you decide to pursue that route).

You never can "really know" unless you see a professional. You can have other symptoms, yet not that one, and still fill the criteria. However, what you say about body language and non-verbal cues doesn't mean you don't have that symptom either. It goes both way: you can be good at reading body language, but bad at delivering it. Also, online tests are not very representative of this. I did one myself, with above average results, but it took me about half an hour.

Interesting, I tend to think I'm better than others at these signals partly because they misunderstand me more than I misunderstand them. It didn't really occur to me that I might not be actually sending the right signals, but often people get me wrong, and agree with each other about it, which suggests this could be the case.

If you ever do get a diagnosis, let us know, yeah? Almost everything you said describes me completely (except I don't mind fictional physical violence - not something I seek out, but it doesn't bother me. Real violence like violent sports does, as does emotional/verbal abuse), to the point where it started to feel eerie. I am also undiagnosed.

You sound like you are on the spectrum to me. As for self diagnosis being accurate, I follow the rule of duck. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's a duck! I am an Aspie duck. Quack, quack!

Regarding your auditory processing problems, have you tried watching people's mouths when they talk? My eye contact issues are partly because I find it very uncomfortable to do it--it feels too confrontational; and part of my problem is because I have always watched people's mouths when they talk. I am not deaf, but I too, have a little bit of a problem processing auditory input. This leads to a time lag in my responses to input. I am better at taking in visual input, but have some trouble with that, also. It took me many years to figure out why I was a mouth watcher when people talk, but I am glad I did eventually figure it out.

I have many of the traits you mention. It has been a hard life living with this, but it was a relief when I finally learned I have Asperger's, and yes, I am self diagnosed. I am in my early 50s, and disabled due to other health issues, so I don't really need a formal diagnosis, as I am too old for children's spectrum therapies, and not able to work any more, so I don't need adult employment therapies. I also don't need social therapies, as I am an introverted hermit, and not interested in socializing much. I am not married and have no kids, so I don't need help with those either. If I ever feel the need for it, I can always change my mind and go for a formal diagnosis. In the meantime, I prefer my Asperger's to remain off the radar for the most part. Too many people don't know enough about spectrum disorders, or have mistaken ideas about us. I don't want to have to deal with problems caused by misunder-standings over this, so I am keeping it on a need to know basis.

If you feel therapy programs would help you, then by all means pursue a formal diagnosis.

No one can really know "for sure" until they invent a brain scan that detects ASDs.

I have an official DX, but even I'm not "really sure."

The fact I have a vivid imagination and had symbolic pretend play as a kid puts my DX in doubt. "Aspergers" is really just the closest thing they have to call me right now.

acquire an expert opinion

It depends upon your MBTI personality type. (warning: slightly tongue-in-cheek)

If you're INTP, yes. You can know beyond doubt, with absolute confidence. You've already spent weeks scrutinizing your childhood memories, analyzing your life, and obsessively reading about AS. You match. Period, full stop, end of story. If your doctor disagrees, but can't offer a more compelling alternative explanation it's because he's an incompetent quack.

If you're IxTJ, no. You'll never be satisfied with anything less than an official diagnosis,.Who are *you* to challenge medical authority? I mean, you might be (shudder) *wrong*. And if you *are* wrong, um... er... well... being wrong scares you. Meanwhile, every INTP in the room will take one look at you, yawn, say "Aspie!", then go back to their obsessive special interest of the week.

If you're Exxx, you either misunderstood the questions, or you aren't an Aspie. Google "Swashbuckling Introvert", change your first letter to "I" if it sounds like you, then re-read this answer. (loosely, a "Swashbuckling Introvert" simultaneously craves arm's-length admiration & fame AND solitude. SIs tend to be false-positive mild Extroverts on MBTI).

There's no such thing as an expert opinion.

In every topic or in ASD in particular?

I can read body language and expressions very well; I actually learned from cartooning. I can draw expressions by feeling them out, and see how my characters feel by drawing them differently.

Some people are like this, I guess.

erm really that a INTJ? Medical Authority, lol we don't see authority in that way. Maybe they wrong & you strip away time & you end up back towards an introvert, with medical conditions.

Keep going & you just got medical conditions & been wrong scares me?

@Op if you need support, then you need a none self one, that's basic the difference, or closer if it helps.

Last edited by TechnoDog on 02 Apr 2012, 10:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm a bit similar to you. Every online test that I've done said that I have an aspie score but I'm usually in the lower range. You don't have to have every single symptom to have AS. I'm pretty good at understanding facial emotions and verbal cues as well. On the other hand I'm extremely socially awkward, I'm shy unles I know the person extremely well. I do have a few special interests that become obsessive. I stim in certain situations by picking at my skin or wiggling my fingers, usually when I'm reading. My brain processes things very slowly and differently than most people. Like most people said, the only way to find out for sure is to get an expert opinion but I know that in some countries it's hard and sometimes expensive, especially if you're an adult.

Its near inposible to test one self when there are such extremes on the spectrom but Id say for my self I am 99.998% sure.

Personally, I only did the tests at first because I wanted to see if there's a point of getting evaluated by a professional. Let's say that if I weren't even close to that on the tests, I wouldn't see a point in paying so much for the real one.