LadyMacbeth wrote:
I had 11 years of reports saying "Has the potential to be brilliant", "head in the clouds", "easily distracted", "immature (in terms of understanding what was being taught, chances are they just didn't explain it well enough for my literal mind)", "easily upset", "argumentative", "bone idle", "should be doing better". "easily led", "rude".
I regularly corrected teachers' spelling and got punished for it. I regularly avoided eye-contact when being told off or asked a question, which in turn made the teachers think I was just rude and insolent. I regularly got punished for not doing homework, but that was because I needed motivation at home, which I didn't have. Now I know if I were diagnosed earlier, learning support would have most definitely helped me achieve the best I could do. Now, I'm 21, working part time in a bar, with little qualifications, a uni drop-out because I wasn't diagnosed until after the fact.
I have a lot of resentment for the education system.
I think the lucky kids who get diagnosis and assistance probably benefit as much from the recognition and acceptance of what they're having to cope with.
The hardest thing about AS is that no matter HOW hard you try, it still isn't good enough.
If that isn't enough to get a person down, I really don't know what is.
And in many ways, it feels like a punishment.
I mean, what kid would ask for that ?
And moreover, what have I done to deserve it ?
A deep sense of injustice is a prominent part of the Aspie landscape.
I sincerely hope that if there is a Heaven, then we get the benefit of all that futile effort we put in.
Luck is not about curricular or financial success, it's about where you're born on the spectrum.
If only we could WORK our way up the spectrum.
Surely that'd be a whole lot juster.