tackling smokers

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I constantly have to argue with smokers who llit up a cigarette, no matter that they saw I was eating or ordered a meal. My NT friend then wants to calm me down and suggest we sit in another corner of the restaurant, but I know I can still smell the smoke there.

So I refuse and get up and go to see the smokers and ask them to stop smoking. I hate that and she too, she feels embarrassed the way I behave in rstaurants aksing these things.

How would you react, and do you think she is right?
I feel I have the right to be assertive and don't want ot be abused by second hand smoke (on top of it I am an asthmatic)-
My adrenaline rises and i have the feeling I could become violent when they refuse to extinguish the cigarette...sometimes dangerous as I live in another country where they don't apply the law that well or follow it either

I take the spineless way out and eat at another restaurant. Although, in my state, smoking in restaurants is illegal now.

The smell is so intense...but like Malsane, I never confront them about it. So scared of it.

I think they have the right to smoke, but not in a restaurant, where there is considerably less circulation and are subjecting everyone else to it.

I think it's very rude to smoke in public. Thank god public buildings have banned it and transportation's don't allow it.

Yeah, they have the right to smoke, but not in a public place like that. I shouldn't be subjected to their poisonous addiction.

Although, when I really can't get away from a smoker, I do confront them. A lot of times they're rude. Why is that?

Well, if the restaurant doesn't allow smoking, then the smoker's in the wrong. However, if it is allowed, why should smokers care about non-smokers who might be irritated? I'm not trying to be rude here, but really, why should they care about your concern? In my opinion, there is no reason for them to care.

Maybe a little respect instilled in them and good manners like "do you mind us smoking while you eat?" Or should I ask them "do you mind if I eat while you are smoking?#. The law in Peru is no smokin in public areas, and some put a sticker on the walls, but some don't (cause cash and customers is more important, the boss thinks).

In a public bus in Brazil I was threatened by a psycho with a gun, just because I asked him to stop smoking next to me...that day Iwas down with bronchitis

Last edited by Loborojo on 01 Oct 2008, 12:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

If someone is physically uncomfortable because of an action of mine, I would stop. It's common courtesy. I don't want to cause discomfort. They don't need to smoke in the restaurant, and it gives me an asthma attack. They have no right to cause me suffering.

standing up and speak my mind in restaurants against smokers has become a compulsion, I automatically start to tick and get angry and lose my patience and temper when I see the indifference they put up

Wow, I see. I wonder why people don't follow the rules. I guess it's cultural, and are used to smoking in the restaurant. Maybe people flout the law because it's not enforced enough? You're right, that is EXTREMELY disrespectful.

I agree that smoking is a bad habit. However, I have the same reaction as the rest of you whenI'm stuck in traffic sitting behind someone's humongous SUV and I'm breathing the fumes from it. Smoking may feel poisonous to a nearby non-smoker, but every day that a person drives their car, they're putting more carnicogens and Carbon Monoxide in the air -in one day - than I would if I set a 5-foot-high pile of cigarettes on fire.

Driving a smog-emitting car is a disgusting habit, too. Too bad it's a necessity.

The difference is, smoking is not necessary. Why should I be subjected to someone's habit? Just because worse things happen doesn't mean this should be allowed. Also, second hand smoke throws me into an asthma attack. I avoid busy roads, because I can't stand the exhaust, but that is a necessary part of our lives at this point. People do need to get from one place to another, and in many cases, driving is the only real option. Smoking is not necessary at all. Especially not smoking next to me. If one must smoke, they still don't need to smoke in public where I have to deal with it.

Oh, probably because most people who confront smokers are rude about it. The smoker, if he is not a jerk to begin with, may anticipate this or respond badly because of the association.

I do sort of care about the concerns of non-smokers. I don't go around lighting up ten feet away from random people. I don't stand in the doorways of buildings smoking so anybody who wishes to enter must pass through my cloud of smoke, I don't walk down the sidewalk trailing smoke. I go stand somewhere where you not only can get away from me, you don't need to go near me in the first place. It seems only courteous. And spares me the discussion about my smoking.

^I used to absolutely despise the jerkwads who'd stand in front of the convenience store I worked at, smoking and laughing, and generally pissing off customers as they had to navigate through a cloud of smoke and loud stupid conversation just to get to the door...

Most times when I'm sitting at a bus stop, if a smoker lights up, he'll ask if it bothers me beforehand. Even if I'm downwind from him, I don't mind. Pisses me off no end when they don't ask tho.

I think if you are just talking about restaurants and the restaurant has a policy of allowing smokers there, then when you go to that place you should expect that there may be people smoking. So to my mind .. having made the choice to go there, you are also making the choice to possibly expose yourself to smoke.
If you feel that strongly about it, go to a place where they have a no smoking policy, then you know you are not going to be assaulted by smoke.

It doesn't bother me. The smell doesn't bother me [compared to any other smell], nor does it harm me [compared to anything else toxic in the city air].

People bother me just standing there, but I realize that the problem is mine, so I don't go out of my way to tell them to vanish when I go out.