Being alone

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is a strong desire for solitude an asperger's trait? I live in quite a small house and the constant presence of my family makes me so frustrated!! I can't relax unless I'm completely alone..which is never...so I never have any opportunities to just relax and collect my thoughts. I don't want to live in constant solitude (i read somewhere that some aspies have no desire for social contact) BUT I do want need my own private space.

I don't know if it's an asperger's trait specifically, but it does seem to be something some aspies need.

I need "alone time," as well. I tend to shut myself in my room more often than not, both at home and here at school. When I had to live with a roommate, I found myself getting extremely frustrated at times, because she was almost always in the room, and I had no solitude or privacy whatsoever. She wasn't doing anything wrong, it was just her presence that got to me sometimes.

That's why I got a single room last year, and this year I'm sharing an apartment with two friends, but I have my own room. This arrangement works well because I can go and socialize with them when I feel lonely or bored, but I can go into my room and close the door when I want to be left alone.

So yes, I also need the private space, and quiet/alone time that you say you require. Being with people for a long time can get overwhelming for me.

I'd like to get a place of my own so I could be alone. Living with my parents has taken it's tole on me. Just seeing my family members around the house is a constant reminder of the solitude that I crave.The only reason I still live at home is because of my financial situation. I'm going to save up all of my money, look for an apartment, take my Dog and split. I wouldn't feel lonley living on my own. I'd feel liberated.

Exactly! There's a big difference between being alone and being lonely. I can only handle a couple of hours (at the most) of social interaction at one time - It's all I require and I could probably get a daily dose just by talking to others on this forum. I just don't want or need that much "bonding time." I used to let people's reaction to my solitude get to me..."Why don't you get out more?" they'd ask and then act like there was something wrong with me when I refused to go places packed with people. I'm older now and I understand that to be content, I need to live my life the way that best suits me, regardless of how others feel I should live.

I remember the feeling of freedom when I first moved away from home. I don't like being totally isolated, but I do like having time to just myself.

It's been difficult now that I'm married and have a son. The only time I can "escape" is when I go outside to have a smoke. Luckily I'm a pipe smoker so a good smoke can last an hour or more.

But as the weather gets colder, "smoking season" comes to an end so I have a more difficult time getting my daily dose of solitude. By the time winter really sets in I'm lucky if I smoke twice a week.

I tried living with someone one time and it went very badly, as I could not control my space . . .

I find that it is just easier to live alone - it makes my life a lot less stressful . . . though I wouldn't mind having someone around to mow the lawn and trim my trees

I have spent the last two years trying my hardest to be social and have now decided it is absolutely a waste of time, so I guess a desire for isolation is part of AS . . .

Being in solitude is something I could not live with out. While I'm not above social interaction, it's something I only do when I want to do it, the rest of my time I prefer to be by myself in my room with it as dark as I can get it, or lit by a low wattage incandesent bulb so I can let my senses rest. If someone stops by to visit, depending on who it is, or what I'm doing at the moment, I might be nice and let them in.

But if someone disturbs me when I don't want it, I can get very angry.

This year has been a big change for me since I now have a roomate. He works from 3pm - 11pm so he's gone in the afternoon and evening hours when I like to be by myself. This has been a blessing in disguise since otherwise I might have had to move into a single room and forced myself to pay out an extra $1,000 per semester for room and board. I have aclimated my brain to the fact that he will be in and out during the rest of the day, so I just have to be careful that he dosen't walk in on me when I'm stimming or doing someother aspie like activity.

I have more than enough time alone already. I'd prefer less time alone.

I like spending a lot of time on my own, but from time to time i really need some company too.

I need being alone and I like it. Some people worry how unhappy this must make me, to live so alone. But in fact I am quite happy. I find contact with people very tiresome, though I enjoy it in small quantity.

It would be difficult for me to live with other people in the same apartment/home, even if I had my own room. I stayed 5 weeks at my sister's recently, and it was a difficult experience. My sister's and her husband's voices and presence were irritating, not very much, but it accumulated. Furthermore, in such a setting I can't properly stim unless everyone is gone. Stimming requires space and draws attention, and I certainly could not afford to be caught doing it. As a kid I was more tolerant, by necessity, but since I moved out of my parent's home, I really enjoy living by myself.

Avoidance or disinterest in social situations is considered a symptom of Asperger's Syndrome, so I would generally answer in the affirmative.

I have one friend who drops by once week, sometimes he skips a week. And i visit my parents one time a week.
The rest of my time i mostly spend on my own, at home (i don't work) and that's fine by me.

People used to worry about me too, about living my life in solitude. At times they tried to really drag me along to parties and bars etc, which was very tiring, cause they were asking me every night and i always had to say no. I shared a house with a friend back then, which was indeed very hard to cope with cause i had the feeling i was never alone. There were always visitors and people who slept over and things like that.

I moved to another city because of this.
But i tried to explain to most of my friends and most of them understand.

I have to have solitude. I live at home with my parents too. Our situations sound alot a like. They always tell me that I am locked away in my room and why dont I ever come out of there. My room is basically like a 1 room apartment. I have everything in here I need like a good futon bed, TV, computer, etc. The only things I dont have are a fridge and a microwave and I would never come out of there. LOL

best place to go is the library. i did that a lot when i was young.

I have lived alone for the last 3 years or so, and it's great. I still need social contact, but, only at certain times, and it's nice to be able to choose these times.

Solitude is very important to me. But if I get too much of it, my ideas start to go round in ever-decreasing circles and I have to meet people.

I found living with others a huge strain after I'd been living alone for a few years. My whole way of life had developed to take maximum advantage of the isolation, so I had to readjust practically everything I did. Suddenly the bathroom wasn't free all the time, things didn't necessarily stay where I'd put them, and there were interruptions galore. The hardest thing was adjusting to coming home to a house that wasn't empty. I'd come to depend on having a bit of space at such times.