Different ideas of friendship

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Maybe you won't believe this, but I've observed lately that NTs can be good friends with people they don't even like, or have long, satisfying friendships where they know both are being phony with each other all the time. They can have warm, genuine feelings of friendship towards people they are friends with out of convenience only (good connections).

This lack of a need for honesty in relationships is, I think, what makes NTs so different from me. It had never crossed my mind till recently that honesty and friendship do not necessarily have to co-exist. They can actually enjoy a friendship genuinely even though they don't like the person or they know the person doesn't really like them, is talking behind their backs, etc.

I know their feelings of friendship towards these people are genuine because they stand by their friend in many instances regardless of whether the friend will know it and be grateful or not. And because they feel much warmer to them than, for example, to me.

Yes, indeed, I want to totally second what Greentea said, because it's a very accurate observation.

A lot of my friends acquaintances have even - what they call - best friends hat they, despite this termini, do not trust completely, may find annoying and they complain about behind these people's backs. They stick together with them, freely choose to spent their time with the same people they complain about to another and they feel connected with those people, feeling different degrees of concern.

It makes sense to have a social life like that (if balanced), because not all social relationships are for true love and sympathy. Instead social relationships are useful for such things as connections to important people, being able to spend time with different people according to different situations (big one), being able to chat about everyday things, specific topics according to that person's interest etc... endless possibilities, I doubt I even know all.

My point is, relationships are a tool and are not (primarily) designed for finding a person to share everything with/the purpose of relationships is not having only emotionally laden relationships.

Oversimplified, relationships mean that different areas of life are being shared with many different people in many (sometimes opposing) ways.

Yes. I have noticed. it makes no sense. i'm only goin g to be friends with someone if we actually get along and like each other.

I see this a lot. It makes me sad. It's also probably why I have the least amount of friends on campus, other than the one other Aspie I've met here.

Oh! That's why my friends in elementary and middle and high school would always confuse me. They would act friendly to each other and even go out together, but complain about each other to me when we were alone. I always thought this was so strange - how could people be friends if they didn't like each other? I have never had a fight with any of my friends, much less split over something. Probably why I stopped really having friends in high school and currently have two friends outside the faculty in college.

Greentea, suddenly everything makes so much more sense. Thank you.