What's the Message on your Answering Machine?

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Being as asp's seem to be a creative lot: What's the outgoing message of your machine?

Right now I have a piece from Bach.

I think mine is just an automated message.

Don't have one, couldn't figure the darn thing out.

The one I had before I lost my phone (one of many...), I couldn't stand my voice, so I kept it short and simple.

If I had a choice now, I'd forgo the whole thing, as I can always call a person back.

Love hearing a creative message though, makes me wish I could think one up.

You have reached _myname_ and _myhusband'sname_, please leave a message at the tone.

Beep-Beep-BEEP*

"We're sorry; there is no one available to answer your call. Please leave a message after the beep."

BEEEP!


(* - SIT tones; like the ones used to indicate that the number dialed is no longer in service. This defeats the autodialers used by telemarketers. The sequence is: 913.8 Hz for 276 ms, 1370.6 Hz for 276 ms, and 1776.7 Hz for 380 ms.)

"Hi, sorry I missed your call. After the tone, please leave your name, number, and a brief message, and I'll return your call as soon as possible. Thank you."

I don't know... I've never had to call myself.

The default one.

First one: Hi, you have reached the cell phone of <My name>, please leave your name, telephone number, bank account details and pin code and I will return to you as soon as I have helped myself to your account.

Second, this is while I was on safari in the serengheti: Hi, this is the cell phone of <My name>. I am in the Kruger national so obviously I cannot take your call so please leave a message. If however I do not return your call within a week you may assume that I have been either eaten, stampeded or implaled.

It used to be:

Hi! By entering this code number, you've activated an interconnect, telecommunications intelligence feedback system, which will cause the receiver you are now holding to detonate with the force of a one-quarter megaton nuclear device.

Should you have any final statements, please feel free to leave them at the end of this message.

At the tone, you will have twenty seconds to reach minimum-safe-distance...

But under current conditions I became concerned that official agencies might not find it so amusing, so I took it off.

"Hi, you've reached dragonfly dreams. I'm not able to answer the phone right now. If you'll leave your name and number, I'll try to get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks!"

Mine's just the default one, somebody says "please leave a message."

I don't like recording my own spoken word stuff.....nothing makes me mumble worse than a recording light.

Don't know of any message that would be suitable for everybody. Ideally I'd want one to attract and one to repel.

The house phone has a fairly normal message - the inlaws could call at any time, and they're a little uptight.

Cell phone: "This is Telephone 2 of 3, tertiary adjunct to Unimatrix 010. We are currently unavailable for communication. Your desire to communicate is irrelevant. At the sound of the tone, you will leave a short message. Your vocal and linguistic distinctiveness will be assimilated into the Collective. Resistance is futile." BEEP

Used to have a voicemail box at college.com - that one greeted callers with an annoyed "What the hell do YOU want?!?" BEEP

Mine says:

"Hello...? Helloooo....? Anybody there....? Just kidding. This is a message. Leave your name & number after the beep. I'll call you back as soon as I can find my phone.-----beep-----."