How do you think people perceive your appearance?

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Do you think people in general perceive you as yo do yourself?
Yes 4%  4%  [ 1 ]
To a certain degree 35%  35%  [ 9 ]
No 46%  46%  [ 12 ]
Don't care 15%  15%  [ 4 ]
Total votes : 26

mosez
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17 Jan 2009, 6:59 am

I got the idea for this poll when reading a topic about avatars here at WP. I see something different when looking in the mirror compared to what I see when looking at a picture of myself. That often lead me to think; Do ppl actually perceive your appearance the same as you do, or do they see something totally different, maybe an alien issue of yourself?
Hope I explained this right.


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i_wanna_blue
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17 Jan 2009, 8:18 am

Thats an interesting question. I always think people percieve me as I percieve myself. Unfortunately, because of terrrible low self esteem I have a very negative self perception.

I assume everyone has a negative impression of me.



mosez
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17 Jan 2009, 8:25 am

i_wanna_blue wrote:
Thats an interesting question. I always think people percieve me as I percieve myself. Unfortunately, because of terrrible low self esteem I have a very negative self perception.

I assume everyone has a negative impression of me.

I guess it won't help you if I told you not to do so. I also have some self esteem issues from time to time, but i come over it.
Thinking about my poll, does anyone actually persieve the whole world like I do? I wonder..


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Stray-Ana
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17 Jan 2009, 8:46 am

I often wonder if anything people look at is the same as how I see it? I used to ask this about colours alot, probably shapes too. You know how there is a difference in human v animal vision I guess I used to just think that there would be a difference between individual people and how they would see things.

Not exactly what you are talking about...!

I would choose 'not sure' if it was there. I don't even know if I perceive me as me, let alone what others perceive.

:)



Stray-Ana
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17 Jan 2009, 8:48 am

mosez wrote:
i_wanna_blue wrote:
Thinking about my poll, does anyone actually persieve the whole world like I do? I wonder..


I wrote my message before reading - you already went where I was thinking!



Lene
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17 Jan 2009, 8:54 am

I read somewhere that people usually think they're more attractive than they really are: it's not vanity in so much as a defence mechanism; seeing the 'real' you is thought to be linked to anorexia and other body image problems.



AnnaLemma
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17 Jan 2009, 9:33 am

I think one of the issues almost everyone deals with as they get older is basically feeling pretty much the same as when they were much younger, but with enhanced wisdom. I guess I still think I'm 30 and often see my reflection and wonder who the hell that old lady is and why is she gazing at me like that? I also have terrible posture and am surprised how much I'm slumping when I think I'm pretty straight. People seem to think I'm a pushover, but when I speak, they act surprised that I'm pretty firm and direct. Some take that as rudeness, depends on the culture. I very much doubt that I think I'm more attractive than I am, but I do think I'm less harmless than the first impression that I create. I can see the resolution in my eyes in photos, but my looks are against me otherwise. On the other hand, bears, coyotes, etc., do not mess with me on the trail. I guess they know I mean business.


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lithium
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17 Jan 2009, 9:35 am

i guess that most people probably think i'm a junkie or some kind of mental health patient, other people generally just ask me if i'm in a band or if i'm a roadie, due to my long hair wich even though i wash it daily, and comb it alot always looks weird, and my habit of not shaving for days and the apathetic look in my eyes, wearing large 1980's army coats, and having a bit of a zombie walk.


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Erminea
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17 Jan 2009, 9:50 am

Good question indeed. But to go a bit beyond appearances only.... I think nobody perceives him- or herself as someone else does. Imo, that's simply not possible. Ones perception is formed by experiences, upbringing, feelings, etc. and those are personal and make how you look at yourself. How others perceive or see you always differs from that. I really don't care no more what others think of me. I accept it and actually find it a quite relieving thought. Took a while to get there thou.



outlier
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17 Jan 2009, 12:41 pm

I know people do not perceive me as I do myself; they sometimes tell me what they perceive and it does not match my perceptions.

Examples:
-- I'll be feeling happy and will assume that others can tell, then someone will tell me to cheer up, ask what's wrong, or say I look angry.
-- Others have told me I'm nothing like the first impression they'd gotten from my appearance.
-- I'll get men treating me like some delicate little girl (with full-on patronizing), when really I often perceive myself more as a male (though the delicate part matches). I am sometimes blatant about it, but they refuse to believe me and patronize some more.
-- Others perceive my appearance as more reticent and unconfident than my own perceptions of my appearance. (Sometimes the reverse is true.)



KazigluBey
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17 Jan 2009, 12:44 pm

outlier wrote:
I know people do not perceive me as I do myself; they sometimes tell me what they perceive and it does not match my perceptions.

Examples:
-- I'll be feeling happy and will assume that others can tell, then someone will tell me to cheer up, ask what's wrong, or say I look angry.
-- Others have told me I'm nothing like the first impression they'd gotten from my appearance.
-- I'll get men treating me like some delicate little girl (with full-on patronizing), when really I often perceive myself more as a male (though the delicate part matches). I am sometimes blatant about it, but they refuse to believe me and patronize some more.
-- Others perceive my appearance as more reticent and unconfident than my own perceptions of my appearance. (Sometimes the reverse is true.)


Ditto . . . well, except for the "delicate little girl" as I'm a dude.



garyww
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17 Jan 2009, 12:51 pm

I have spent decades thinking about this. It was a special interest at one time so over the years I have come to believe that yes people see how we look physically very differently than we see ourselves when we look in the mirror. I think they are far less critical than we ourselves are. Normal people I think have a certain 'blindness' or at least 'foggy' veil they look through quite often as they don't see as many details in things as we typically do. A good example is how an attractive woman can fall in love with an ugly man. That may not be the best example but you get the general idea.
I also think however that normal people notice our personality traits and characteristics much more than we think they do.


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merrymadscientist
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17 Jan 2009, 12:54 pm

In terms of attractiveness, I thought I was ugly all through my teens because the odd person had said so, but this really didnt bother me as I wasn't concerned at all about that, although I was slightly perplexed as sometimes looking in the mirror I didnt seem to be ugly. Since then I have realised that I am not. A few people have said that I have a beautiful face - not just boyfriend, but friends and relatives too, but I do wonder whether it is really true - after all I am not aware that people act around me as though I am beautiful - I don't seem to get any benefit of it if it is true. Men never seem to be interested in me (or is that just the go away signals I send out?). So really I have no idea how people perceive me physically. Whether I am really attractive on a general scale or whether what I can sometimes see in myself is not obvious to anyone else and I am deluding myself now that I can be beautiful. Other times though I look in the mirror and I look embarrassingly ugly, so perhaps overall I am quite normal.

In terms of personality, that has changed so much over the years internally, but I wonder whether people I have known for years can still find the same things in me that they always did, even though I feel like a different person and my life philosophy has altered radically even in the past 5 years.



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17 Jan 2009, 12:54 pm

garyww wrote:
I also think however that normal people notice our personality traits and characteristics much more than we think they do.


I agree, my wife has a keen eye for all my foibles.



mosez
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17 Jan 2009, 1:05 pm

[quote="garyww"]I have spent decades thinking about this. It was a special interest at one time so over the years I have come to believe that yes people see how we look physically very differently than we see ourselves when we look in the mirror. I think they are far less critical than we ourselves are. Normal people I think have a certain 'blindness' or at least 'foggy' veil they look through quite often as they don't see as many details in things as we typically do. A good example is how an attractive woman can fall in love with an ugly man. That may not be the best example but you get the general idea.
I also think however that normal people notice our personality traits and characteristics much more than we think they do.[/quote

I'm very glad you answered to this post, cause I'm careful not to mention any names here, even a nick. It was your post that got my mind going, that one about the avatars. But I've wondered about this for decades too, and found it quite difficult to ask this question in a way that not sounded like I was due to be locked up. See?


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Last edited by mosez on 17 Jan 2009, 1:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

mosez
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17 Jan 2009, 1:07 pm

[quote="garyww"]I have spent decades thinking about this. It was a special interest at one time so over the years I have come to believe that yes people see how we look physically very differently than we see ourselves when we look in the mirror. I think they are far less critical than we ourselves are. Normal people I think have a certain 'blindness' or at least 'foggy' veil they look through quite often as they don't see as many details in things as we typically do. A good example is how an attractive woman can fall in love with an ugly man. That may not be the best example but you get the general idea.
I also think however that normal people notice our personality traits and characteristics much more than we think they do.[/quote

I'm very glad you answered to this post, cause I'm careful to not mention any names here, even a nick. It was your post that got my mind going, that one about the avatars. But I've wondered about this for decades too, and found it quite difficult to ask this question in a way that not sounded like I was due to be locked up. See?


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I don't pay any attention to you, standing there thinking you are in control, cause I am in control-mosez