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silvermaned Lion of Elephants graveyard

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Ghosthunter
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Posts: 2,478
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota

03 Dec 2005, 9:20 am

how do I begin? This isn't a positive post.
If that is what you expect, sorry.

This isn't a negative post! If that is how you
interpret it, then you probly don't understand
my writing.

This is a neutral post. It will contains words of
life, and words of death, and the expression of
grief to live life, and yet see life ahead, alone.
My mother left me alone and that is how it seems
I will die, alone(no social skill that is understood,
nor relationship-thus 1/2 a creature until death,
just a grave and alone on the streets, as I started
(tears in my eyes) my adolesence.

reason for this post wrote:
I have been alone, and it hurts me more to say
to Pyraxis that we can no longer speak. For I am
now truly alone. I am glad you were helped
by me to see your dreams so I must shiver in the
cold once I no longer live in BeeBee's house.
I see no dream, but deaths wake, or if I am
patient enough alumium cans by age 62 and
$200 per month social security.

I don't see myth. I see only the streets
when I leave this winter sanctuary. You
may see a apartment and friends, I will
still be 1/2 a man and already growing gray
manes in my hair like every other undeserving
bum I was and still seem to be.


manes of a lion wrote:
Manes of gray streak a lion graceful veil. Speckled
by life triumphs and failures. Failure to live in his
kingdom and led to the Elephants graveyard he shall
die.

Understood not by the cubs of the future, and
1/2 of what he should have been as silver manes
of gray further speckle his brow.

perplexity as the young cubs who now rule the
roost that was once his(he thought-says the lion),
to turn out that he is neither understood there
amongst his own kind and the hunters in the
wild who seek his fur.

Elephant Graveyard becons and I must heed it's
call. To the cubs it isn't a concern, they speak
their own language, so die-lion-die, it is not relevant.
To one she that it held in his heart, she has moved
one and will not be hunters prey, so I must face
my hunter and fate, and let her go.

Grievenced my heart, but understanding that the
dwellers of winters cave are until time is done here.
Safe be they, as I must face each days hunters
so be happy you are sheltered cubs, and I don't
expect you to understand this lion, but poison in the
blood must take it's course, and this is your world not
mine.


Sad, and most of you won't even get how I convey,
so I must walk this graveyard silvermaned and sad.

Sorry Pyraxis, once I leave BeeBee's you are sheltered
and I can't live your successes, because that will create
illusion. I am half a man and shall die like that.
Poison? Lifes spirit removed, but do the young cubs even
grasp how others write?

It doesn't matter,

Until later
Ghosthunter



BeeBee
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03 Dec 2005, 10:20 am

I consider myself the ultimate pragmatic person so this post will be totally out of character for me. Although I'll close as myself. :wink:

GH,
Your life, as all lives, is important and whole. You are who the creator intended you to be. If you were different then you are, the WORLD would be incomplete. If you were different the world would have a tear, a weakspot, like a tapestry missing threads.

My friend, we are middle aged. You treat me as if I were many years older than yourself yet I am only five years older. We can watch the world of the children, interact with it, influence and mold it, but it is not our world. That is not a problem to be mourned, it is a fact to be look at and rejoice about. It is our job to leave the world to the young. This is nature. This is how things have always been and should always be. To try to change this would be to upset nature.

You are not alone. You have people who care about you and always will. You have influenaced many, that will not change. You may mourn the fact that the relationships you hoped for are not there, indeed one must, but please accept the relationships that ARE there. Nurture them for what they are.

Its okay to be sad, disappointed, mad, whatever. Feelings just are. Once you process your feelings I hope you will look at all you to have right now. Freinds (on line and off) who care, a social service system that is working with you to find your strenghts and find you employment based on those strenghts. A very good chance of starting college within the next year. You are very very close to reaching many many goals. Mourn lost relationships but don't let them close you off from new beginnings.

BeeBee