How many Aspies feel like this about hygiene and mingling

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Please can only Aspies, diagnosed or not, answer this poll. If NTs want to give their view then please write a reply, Aspies too of course write aswell if you want.
I want to get an idea of how many Aspies feel like I do and may use the numbers (but of course no names) in my work where I have been asked to do a presentaion on AS.

Comments please too on whether the following is OK as a presention for NTs. This is something I wrote after 3 days in a nice hotel whilst there for a conference.

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The meeting breaks for lunch
I’d better move quickly to wash my hands before all the food goes. Good job I washed them toughly ½ hour ago and have only touched my pen since, I will only need to give them a quick wash.

Washing hands
Strange, no one else is in here; they have gone straight to the buffet without washing their hands, yuck. I hope they are not handling the food then putting it back once they see it’s something they don’t eat. All those germs.

Drying hands
Oh good, there there’s a choice of paper towels as well as the air dryer. Saw a documentary about how unhygienic those air dryers are.
Good, my hands are dry but I’d better take another paper towel to open the doors with, after all, what’s the point in washing one hands before one eats if all your going to do is touch germ ridden door handles?

On way to buffet
Oh no, she is smiling at me; I really hope she doesn’t want to shake hands; I’ve just washed them. Smile back at her and nod or say hello, but don’t offer her your hand. If it looks like she is going to offer hers get in first and offer a fist-to-fist contact and hope it is not too inappropriate.

At the buffet table
I’d better take this one, it looks like the other sandwiches have covered it so maybe it’s not been touched or breathed on.
I’d better take a big dollop of dip on my plate, I don’t care if people think that’s bad manners, I think it’s bad manners to use the dip communally. But then, we are all equally entitled to be different and which law says who is right anyway.

Mingling whilst eating
I’d better gather the energy to mingle, it’s polite and it’s networking.

Oh s**t, didn’t see that handshake coming. Hope they haven’t been picking their nose. Oh no, they are spitting on me as they speak, I really hope it’s not going on my food.
I know some people can’t help spitting, it’s part of an impairment with some people, but if I had that impairment I would at least understand why other people are trying to keep their food away from my spit. They seem to be understanding enough to understand that, so are probably mature enough not to choose to be offended by my cautious behaviour.

After a lot of mingling
I think I’ve done well so far; I hate talking to people when I’m eating but I have made a good effort against my comfort zone. However, I really am starting to feel that I need to take some time out on my own to re-energise from the overload I’m feeling. At least this place is non-smoking; I hate smoky atmospheres so much.


After 2 or 3 days of being stuck in a very nice hotel I should be grateful I am staying at as I am not paying for it.
Due to circumstances I cannot go out of the hotel, as I need to be at hand.
· 2 or 3 days of pretending so I don’t offend people who take offence when opinion differs from theirs.
· 2 or 3 days of being away from my own bed and not getting into bed at the time I need to.
· 2 nights of not sleeping as I am listing for to make sure someone is OK
· 2 or 3 days of 6 – 8 hours of loud people with microphones bombarding my head with torturing noise. It doesn’t stop when the working day has ended. Maybe 1 hour break to recover and get ready for dinner eating all together, I really hope I don’t have my food spat on. I really hope dinner is not overwhelmingly loud.

After noisy dinner in the bar
Nice bar, but I have been in it for a while now and I have to get away from the smoke and the noise. The sea of too many different noises and bad smells no one else seems to notice is overloading me. I wonder if it would be considered anti-social to leave now? Maybe I shouldn’t be considering my comfort; maybe I should force myself against my will to endure more torture for the sake of politeness.
How f…ing long do I have to endure this torture though, when it is reasonably polite to leave this hell. I wish I understood these petty unwritten social rules; I might be enduring this hell longer than I need to.

I know my job is easy compared to the people who think I have it easy when they work more and harder as it’s their role to and not mine, but maybe they don’t have this overload to the high extent I feel it. I have always had this problem, but it’s only since I have known I have Aspergers that I have an understanding of why I am like this.

I only have it mildly, but therein lays the problem. It is not clear to people why I am like I am, my impairment is invisible.
· Its invisibility makes it a disability.
· People’s lack of understanding makes my impairment a disability.
· Some people’s attitude even if they have been told makes it a disability if they think “How Dare You”, you don’t have any impairment, you didn’t know about it before so what’s changed now? So, you have been diagnosed with something, but how can you have it, you would have known years ago if you had it so you can’t have it.

I bet they have always wondered why I have always seemed so weird though!

I would say I'm somewhere between Never and Yes!

I feel a little like this, and I certainly can understand this. For instance, I hate leaving the toilets and having to touch the same door handle as everyone else, especially those that don't wash their hands. I try to kick the door open or pull the handle from a point others are unlikely to grab.

I dislike having to share a dip with my wife too. She will take a bit of something then stick it back in the dip! Gross. I prefer to spoon the dip onto a plate and dip it from there.

So yes, I guess I'm lightly on the side of experiencing what you have described with hygenie, but not as strongly.

I'm there totally with the mingling stuff though, what you wrote is not that far from describing what I experience.

I am very germ paranoid except when it comes to close friends I would never touch a dip or bole of chips at a party but with people I trust I am happy to share drinks ice-cream spoons ect. Pets as well which is strange because logically I know that a cat’s mouth is full of germs but I would rather share my food with one them most people. and public tolits only if i am despret

I'm germ paranoid apart from my own germs usually. I know I need the germs so I try to make sure there are still germs on my plate/food/whatever but if someone's breathing on my food or me or something like that then it's horrible. I'm alright with people sticking stuff into dip, it's just when all the crumbs from food become startlingly obvious, then I freak. Usually I don't realise that I've stuck stuff into the dip twice, but I don't eat dip often; it's normally tomato sauce which is on my plate already so I don't need to worry. Shaking sweaty hands and touching someone elses hands just after they've coughed or sneezed is horrible as well. Usually before I eat I have to get a clean teatowel out and wipe everything over before eating from it. But all of that isn't as bad as feeling someone breath on me, I can't stand that.

I wash my hands when I leave the toilet. But for some reason only at work. Mostly because it feels good not for the hygiene. I usually never wash myself but I have sticky fingers. I'm very unhygienic.

Oh, and I never mingle.

I am totally phobic about food prepared for me in restaurants. I wonder if they wear gloves, wash their hands, are they sick and sneezing all over the food and how long is the raw food been laying out ready to be cooked.

It's gotten to the point I can't enjoy a meal.

If we are with other people, I practically hover over my dish because everyone flails their arms and is always wanting to touch my arm while talking.

I will be picky about buffet foods, what I touch with my hands, or being near people sneezing or coughing. I wash my hands frequently, because I bite my nails, which guarantees germs on my hands getting into my mouth. Some things I see at home bother me, like not rinsing out sponges, or leaving them in the sink, or watching family members use a mildewy sponge to “clean” the kitchen counter.

I also use a towel when I can to open bathroom doors. If a towel isn’t available I will try and use the least amount of contact with the knob or handle. If I have to flush a public toilet, I will use my shoe, or a urinal with my shoe or elbow, if at all.

This fear isn’t so great that I avoid eating in restaurants. In those instances, I suppose I adopt a “what I can’t see can’t hurt me” attitude. I really don’t think about germs in restaurants except when using the restroom.

Another thing I have a problem with is someone touching my food, even if they were the one to prepare the food! For instance, if my sister makes me a sandwich, then puts in on my plate, it is okay. But touching of my food beyond that point freaks me out.

they're just germs! it's good you're clean, but they can't hurt you. just to let you know.

Rarely eat in noisy bars.
I love conferences - it is very easy to control the cleanliness if you bring your own bedding, and everything else is easy to clean and stays clean if you're the only one in the room.

I am not so careful about buffets as I have dietary restrictions that result in my not eating or bringing my own food.

I am as careful about bathrooms and about shaking hands - though I know its not great, I use the alcohol gels or at least wipe my hands (wet handshakes = argh!)

Two horror stories:
Watching a man use his hand like a tissue and putting the then wet hand on the hanging strap. I have never touched anything in a subway since. I'd rather fall.

At a retreat someone wanted me to loosen up and couldn't understand why I made such a fuss over her taking a bite of my dessert - with her mouth.

I really don't find myself worrying about germs other than the usual protocol for handling specimins.

Mingling is another issue entirely. I can manage in small groups, but I find crowds completely overwhelming. Noise and lights and cigarette smoke and perfume and sweat and what someone had for dinner and talking (I hear every conversation around me) and music Oh no! now I have run out of what to say next ... gah!

NT (AFAIK) and went through a stage exactly like what you're describing when I was younger, except involving schoolkids instead of coworkers.

If you want advice though, I have a whole theory about the purpose of immune systems, the statistical chances of getting nasty diseases, and the amount of energy dedicated to worrying that could be used elsewhere. Well, a sort-of theory anyway.

Im ok with germs*, but poisons, drugs, irritants, broken glass and corrosive materials are a constant threat.

*except in public toilets, i dont really get anxious but im much happier if i can pull the doors open with a little finger, or operate the taps with a wrist/elbow.

some examples;

-clearing up broken glass is a major ordeal and ill be reluctant to handle food afterwards. stray fragments can play havoc with the intestinal tract.

-I sometimes watch heroin addicts on the bus to avoid touching anything they touch (im allergic to heroin)

-When i used to smoke, i needed a quarantine period after the slightest exposure to gas or petrol (just in case the smoke ignited flammable lung residues) - sparking up discreetly outdoors in the wind was a complete nightmare!

-I sometimes hold my breath or breathe shallowly to walk past asbestos-cement (which is everywhere)

-Ill creep through an alleyway to avoid touching any poisonous plants (which i will have identified at 20 paces).

-Ill pick up a battery using clingfilm, just in case any trace of corrosive material somehow ends up in my mucous membranes.

and the strange thing is i KNOW those last 2 are completely irrational because i used to eat random plants and spent matches as a child, licked leaking batteries and nothing much ever happenned.

It not always that serious, anything that cures anxiety (exercise etc) helps clear it up somewhat. Now that i know i have AS & associated sensory issues its getting much easier because i have a rational explanation for my symptoms, and dont have to look for external toxins to make sense of it.

Even though the two are often comorbid, many of the things described sound more like OCD. I'm sure many Aspies can relate in part if not in whole, since we often have obsessive and compulsive personalities. I, myself, can relate.

The latter part about overload is very Aspie though and I deal with that a lot. I can't take people for very long without requiring recuperation.

But it's funny, my behaviors actually look germaphobic OCD when they are really due to sensory aversion. I hate sticky surfaces and the worst are surfaces which have been touched by many hands. I can feel the oil from peoples' skin left behind all too easily. So many times I will constantly wash my hands when not at home or use my clothing to open doors or shy away as much as possible from using things like hand rails.

Most people probably would call that OCD if they didn't know the reason behind it. I'm sure that's the first thing that would come to mind to an observer. But I'm not thinking about germs. Though the stickiness does make the surfaces seem dirty and dingy and I hate that, too. But it is more a sense of disgust of that dirt rather than a fear.

But life can be excruciating for my hands.