Scared of my past

Post Reply New Topic

I should just stop reading, or at least when I read, read nice happy stories where everyone lives happily ever after (and never had similiar horrible experiences). But sadly Im not that smart (damn lack of intelligence!) and once again read a story about a kid who goes to far, and once again its bringing up all kinds of bad thoughts about the past. See my past isnt particularly nice and many times in my past I wasnt either, I got into alot of fights when I was younger and spent alot of days in middle school on suspension. This just keeps making me wonder how much farther would I have had to go... looking back on it my mom was somewhat worried because she didnt know how to help me (and we didnt have enough money to try much other then cheap simple therapy and maybe meds.) Could I have gotten myself into a hospital... into juvi... to make my parents just give up (which I still think is unlikely but.... Im sure I wasnt easy to handle back then.) I need to get my mind off of these thoughts (and others that maybe Ill go into at another time) from the past.

_________________
"we never get respect ... never a fair trial
[swearing removed by lau] ... as long as we smile"
Im tired of smiling.

Vote for me in 2020

I've had alot of near identical experiances. I'll try to get back to you with some advice, but I will need considerable time to think about it.