Are you capable of leading an independant life?

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If not, then why not?

At the moment, I can't. I'm simply unable to take care of myself. I need someone to walk me through everything. I have terrible anxiety that prevents me from being able to drive, and I can't take care of any car. I get overwhelmed by the simplest of things, and I'm very vulnerable to meltdowns. I have this uncontrollable urge to destroy myself when I feel stressed/overwhelmed. Simply put, life is all too overwhelming and difficult to handle.

I even have trouble seeing my doctors on a regular basis on my own. Last time I freaked out waiting for my turn at the hospital, and I walked out of my appointment, because I waited for over two hours and had no idea what was going on. I don't have much support in my family, and I've been getting closer and closer to killing myself, because nothing seems to be working out, and I'm running out of obsessions to keep me distracted.

That's all about me. What about you?

I've been living independently since I turned 18 (actually, I had financial support till 23, from then on, totally independently). I suck at this. my house is a s**thole, a totall utter mess. I can't drive, failed to learn to drive so many times... I have a hard time finding a job, but when I absolutely have to- I just do it. I get overwhealmed by all legal stuff, for the past 3 months I've been avoiding people from telephone company and my internet provider, even though I know that all they want is to renew the contracts, but I can't stand their nagging about better packages that I should get to pay less and all that- I just can't stand it, so I withdraw.

I fail with a load of stuff, including paying bills on time, sending my tax declaration and all that. but when a deadline comes after which I *know* I'd get in more serious trouble, I just do it. my friends help me with a lot of stuff and give me little kicks when I need them, so I manage.

it is hard, but it's priceles. I would never give away even a bit of my freedom for support of any kind. I love the fact that in my house everything is done *my way* and I can stay up all night, stim, play and engage in all kinds of strange activities that otherwise would have been looked down on.

I think you should try it.

I would like to. But I have to wait my 18 (2 years and a half), and to ameliorate my management of certain emotions, and noise.
When, I'll reach this age, I hope I will be able to have an independent life, and to cope with it. I'm a bit worried when I see the problems of you two.

Yes I can.
I aslo managed to support my non-working bum of a (now ex) husband for years.
It hasn't always been easy, but I'm really stubborn.

yes i can live on my own, i was gonna live at this place called the guidance center awile back because i didnt have anywhere to go, (it was kindof like a grouphome) with a bunch of mentally ill people, but i decided not to because i was afraid my god given rights would have been trampled on. namely i was afraid they would force meds on me

I can tell you one thing- if you have a supporting family, you'll be fine. if not, make sure that the people you become friends with are worth it, and try not to alienate them for a "principle". I've noticed that a lot of people on this forum easily break long-term friendships for silly reasons- like being told off by someone or taking offense by something they've heard. I know we can't take criticism well, but that's what friends are for- to tell you that you suck at something, and try to help you overcome it. if you don't have any support you'll have a much harder time making it on your own.

Thanks. I have tried it before when I was in college before I dropped out. I agree, there's nothing like it. But I couldn't carry on, because I wasn't taking care of myself, and I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing. It was fine for the first year and a half, but after that, it was getting too academically difficult for me to carry on so carelessly and aimlessly, so I had to drop out. After I dropped out, it was too difficult for me to get back in. I tried several times, but failed. I'm going to make one final attempt in the near future, and I hope it goes well.

I might be able to be independent someday. I'm working on it. Haven't learned to drive and live 2 1/2 miles from a busline so transportation is the #1 difficulty.

Other problems: The discrimination and bullying NTs level on an Aspie. Makes employment difficult. I do an awesomely good job but that does not stop cruel callous rotten ppl from trying to attack.

I am going for a formal official diagnosis soon so I can get disability status which will enable me to take a Segway on the public transportation system and get protection from bullying at work. I will also ask for training in anti-bullying.

If these roadblocks are conquered I could be independent.

Well, if you have an incredibly sharp tongue, insult them at where they are the weakest. Simply put, know their sensitivities! Don't be afraid to hit below the belt.

yep, that's what I do too, and it works. it's better to be disliked than abused and belittled.

Exactly. It's a dog eat dog world and you need respect in order to climb the ladder of success.

You are all right. I have slowly come to this realization. I have been totally isolated for over 3 years but am planning how I will cope when back around ppl. I have incisive precise intelligence and plan to use it to fillet and expose those rotten black-hearted monsters that try to abuse me.

I've always been so loving, so kind and generous and gentle, but will not be anymore to those who are jerks and as*holes.

Thank you all for the validation!

I would like to, but I don't see it happening any time soon.

With my Agorophobia and social phobia there are days when I cannot leave the house, so my dad has to go shopping for me, which he can't always do since he works at a hospital, and his hours are all over the place.

Plus I can't cook for myself as I'm scared of the flames. My mum has to cook, or else I microwave stuff, or live on weetabix and fruit. Since I have texture issues I can't eat anything slimmy or wet that'a not cereal or fruit.

Hopefully when I get diagnoses I can see if maybe I could get some kind of help.

I have been living on my own since I was almost 20. I had parents down the road from me in case I needed them and then I decided to move out to Oregon because I didn't need them as much and I can always call them on the phone if I have a problem. Plus I have my aunt and uncle there too and I haven't really needed their help in anything. I have my boyfriend so he is there to help. I also help him such as taking him grocery shopping since he doesn't drive and it's so hard to carry all those groceries. He needs wheels or an extra set of hands and car is faster so we take that.

am see self in that a lot Qi,including in the last bit.
from what have written,it sounds like may be able to get support-contact social services and ask them for a community care assessment [think thats what its called],here is something about support and how to get it:
http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/fam ... y_care.htm
it is uk based,dont know how good it is for those outside uk.



am lfa and need a lot of support-need two to one [which is where one person gets two staff] but only have the funding for tto-once a week,need at least one to one support with no agency staff [NAS or experienced/home staff only]-also need own waking night staff.

need specialist support staff from the national autistic society [have funding for them every day but tuesday,and two to one on wendsday] because the home staff are not able to deal with autism w/ high complex needs [most of them could not care less about autism],am need restraining during head banging and other self injury as am do not feel any pain on outside of body,am also a 'absconder'-due to having no sense of danger or surroundings as well as liking to collect bits of glass for cutting self with,staff have to be close by,otherwise am quickly brought back by police.am cannot look after basic needs or personal care so luckily have staff for that.am relie on a laptop and text to speech programs for communication most of the time.

besides restraining or being padded around,am need other physical help with daily severe meltdowns, shutdowns and tonic clonic seizures-they often cause full paralysis in both legs-for most of the day so am reliant on staff for being dragged around if wrists are too weak to drag self.
Staff do all the money things,communication and get prescriptions for meds.

am hope to one day help out at a charity stables as am good with horses-they seem to calm around am [and works the other way to] and am have a lot of physical strength,but dont know when that will be due to what am like-had been hoping to do it next year but am not settled and probably wont be for a long time because of problems that have gone on with staff/being moved to different residential homes so often.

I'm too young at the moment.
But I think I'd struggle. While I'd like to I cannot survive in busy streets on my own and I have trouble crossing roads. I'd struggle to socialise and do simple tasks too.