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alexptrans
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23 Sep 2010, 1:33 pm

It's hard for me to tell when these words should be used and when they shouldn't. When I still lived with my parents, I used to say "bye" whenever somebody went into the shower, or to sleep, or whatever.
I say "hi" whenever it's been a while (even several minutes) since I've last seen the person, and sometimes they don't answer me back (maybe they think it's strange). I've been able to figure out many social rules, but this one still gives me trouble. Any advice?



MotherKnowsBest
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23 Sep 2010, 1:48 pm

If you're in the same building, eg home or school say hi once a day and after that, if you make eye contact just smile otherwise don't say anything.

When out and about it gets a bit harder. It's down to the circumstances. If you bump into your neighbour in the supermarket and then again shortly afterwards on the bus home, then you do like above. If you meet your neighbour on the bus in the morning and then again on the way home in the evening, you would say hi both times. Although if in doubt, just smile.



the_curmudge
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23 Sep 2010, 2:43 pm

In my opinion, Mother has the rule exactly right if you can limit the conversation to "Hi-Hi." What bothers me is the chattery individual who can't avoid burdening the brief and serviceable "Hi" with the additional "How are you" or (shudder) "How ya doin' " when they don't in the least care. I tend to restrict my answer to a verbal "Hi" and a smile or smile-and-wave for any unwanted questions, because normally I'm moving away at this point. Still, it's disconcerting to leave that unanswered question hanging in the air.

I much prefer greeting people in the a.m., so we can use the formal and weighty, "Good morning!" that requires no props.

Of course, I do answer "How are you" from people with whom I have a genuine relationship, keeping the answer formulaic ("Fine;" "Good;" "Great"), unless by approaching closely and dropping their voice, they indicate they really want to know.



abc123
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23 Sep 2010, 3:27 pm

I watch what other people do, e.g. say hi if they do. Sometimes you can smile instead and it draws less attention to you if you can get the hang of not forcing it.
I say hi in the morning when I arrive at work to people in my office and people I know less well nearby, or if I pass someone I know but don't generally speak to, or if a visitor arrives. If it's not first thing in the morning I would smile instead.
I say bye when I leave work to the few people in my actual office or if I am work late and there are only one or two people there it lets them know that you have left the building and can lock up. I would say bye after a work drink or after being given a lift.
I struggle more with bye. I sometimes say see you later if I leave people mid way through the day or nod/smile on the way out to acknowledge they are there.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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23 Sep 2010, 3:42 pm

alexptrans wrote:
It's hard for me to tell when these words should be used and when they shouldn't. When I still lived with my parents, I used to say "bye" whenever somebody went into the shower, or to sleep, or whatever.
I say "hi" whenever it's been a while (even several minutes) since I've last seen the person, and sometimes they don't answer me back (maybe they think it's strange). I've been able to figure out many social rules, but this one still gives me trouble. Any advice?

I usually only say "hi" when I first see someone and "bye" when I am leaving, but sometimes I don't even say "hi" at all, except when I answer the phone.



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23 Sep 2010, 3:54 pm

I used not say to any greeting words until a few years ago, then I realized it was rude doing so,
now I say 'good morning' to everyone I meet (that I know of course) even if it's 6pm :D


some useful tios my NT friend gave me :)
-if you meet someone you know and he doesn't see you, you can pass him by without saying hello, goodmorning etc.
if he sees you, then you should greet him (trying to make eye contact and maybe smile)
-if you meet someone haven't seen him/her in a while you should also ask him/her "how are you?" and similar questions, trying to show interest in what he/she is saying
-if you're walking just saying hello or goodmorning is fine; if you are not (if you meet someone you know on a bus for example), you should try making small talk



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23 Sep 2010, 4:04 pm

I don't have a difficulty saying hi and goodbye to someone I know, it's only when I've only met a person for a short space of time, I sometimes become afraid to say it. :lol:

Oh and hello WrongPlanet. :salut:


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jmnixon95
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23 Sep 2010, 5:13 pm

I detest saying hello to people. "Bye" isn't as difficult.



Philologos
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23 Sep 2010, 9:09 pm

I went for being brusque or odd. Early 20s, if I simply passed someone on the street [not stopping to talk] I would say gday - not Australian,. just American ODD good day shortened to minimum.

Still today if I come into a room OR someone else comes into the room. I will EITHER briefly wave while continuing to do what I am doing, OR I will start in talking to cut off the How are you bit [which is even worse in the mouths of telemarketers.]



necroluciferia
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24 Sep 2010, 3:21 am

I remember I used to say hello every time I went into a room at home, and one day my mum snapped at me for it.

A lot of times I'm afraid to say them, like when I was working somewhere a couple of years ago I'd just go straight to my desk in the morning without saying hello to anyone, and walk out at the end of the day without saying goodbye.



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24 Sep 2010, 4:58 am

I like to walk around school, saying 'hello' to all my teachers because it makes me feel like a nice person (most kids seem to be rude to their teachers). However, as soon as someone asks me how I am, I have to flee.


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24 Sep 2010, 7:23 am

At home, I would say Hi if I'm coming home after being out or if someone else comes home after being out (at least if I'm in the same room). There are probably also circumstances when no one has left the house where I would also say Hi, but I can't summarize them.

Similarly, if I'm leaving the house, I would say Bye, and if someone else is leaving the house, I would say Bye to them (at least if they were in the same room as me). I wouldn't normally say Bye if someone was going to a different part of the house, and I probably wouldn't say it if they were going out to work in the yard.

If a visitor arrives at the house I would say Hi to them, and if a visitor leaves, I would say Bye to them.

I don't know if I have a definable principle for saying Hi to people I meet outside the house.


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rmgh
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24 Sep 2010, 2:41 pm

It gets more difficult when it's with someone you don't know whether likes you or not. And even more difficult when they don't know whether they like you or not. Sorry, personal rant....



Mark198423
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24 Sep 2010, 2:57 pm

rmgh wrote:
It gets more difficult when it's with someone you don't know whether likes you or not. And even more difficult when they don't know whether they like you or not. Sorry, personal rant....


I don't think that qualifies as a rant! :wink:



rmgh
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24 Sep 2010, 3:00 pm

Mark198423 wrote:
rmgh wrote:
It gets more difficult when it's with someone you don't know whether likes you or not. And even more difficult when they don't know whether they like you or not. Sorry, personal rant....


I don't think that qualifies as a rant! :wink:

Haha, right ok WELL.... No, I'll spare you :P



merrymadscientist
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24 Sep 2010, 3:15 pm

Saying 'Hi' or 'Bye' is one of the things I am worst at. A lot of the time I just don't think to do it, but mainly it just feels really awkward and unnatural and I just can't force myself. Bye is worst - I prefer to just leave and hope noone notices. It is particularly bad when people make a point of doing it (because they know I don't). Saying hello isn't too bad, but often I will just walk in and start a conversation without the greeting without thinking. The 'how are you' stuff is also annoying, although with people at work I don't mind it because I can actually say what I want to say, and will often ask it back to them because I am genuinely interested in them and how they are and know they feel the same about me.