blossoms wrote:
I don't understand why I behave in certain ways, and what exactly triggers these quirks I have. For example, why am I often tranced and brain paralysed (I can stare at a book for 15 minutes in a book store, and not take anything in)? Why can't I focus, at times, when someone conveys the simplest instructions? Often when someone speaks to me, the slightest focus on something else, in my mind, results in blanking what the person is saying and completely not taking anything in? My mind is permanently turned on, analysing minutae of things, meaning I can be so dazed.
I forget the slightest details, which I do know, but in the moment they can't come.
Once I forgot my bank card details, the other time at a vending machine I put in money and tried to make it work for five minutes, only for me to look up and see 'not in order'. There are many examples like that.
Do any of you have that problem? How do you get you brain to function in a way that is sharp and on the spot, I don't think my mind can be like that, it is always seem stuck in another gear and has to obsess about the smallest thing...
Anyway, it would be nice to share some similar experiences
I can relate. The staring you mentioned: I have it too. I don't like it, it happens sometimes out of the blue, and sometimes in stressful situations. I believe this is what people call a ''shutdown'', when your brain is paralized and you are in some kind of trance, unable to think or have a real conversation, you can only say ''Hi'' and that sort of things. Your mind isn't present. I have this sometimes several times a day, sometimes only once in some days. Your brains just shut down, like a computer you turn off. I always think by myself then: ''I'm in a very autistic mood''.
I recognize that not-focussing to instructions too. I am not sure why it is; I guess it may be a type of a ''shutdown''. I have this sometimes too: I don't know exactly what it is. I do know it it annoying.
I have troubles remembering phone numbers. I can't.
When I have this so-called shutdown, I let myself stay in my autism. I never had problems with it, and it mostly doesn't last that long, in my case. When I do want to get ''back'', I force myself to think ''Come on, i have to wake up'', and then I get myself focussing more at the surrounding people, or items I see. I slowly recover then, until i'm alert. Often I'm much more alert then other people. Though, sometimes I'm not. I force myself to have thoughts.
I am sometimes obsessed by things too. I stare a lot at spinning or moving objects, I even let them spin in my hands because I find it relaxing. It can sometimes lead to autistic behavior or a shutdown, though.
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