In-Laws sabotage me

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My husband has a very clingy and jealous mother AND Step-mother. And I feel at times they use my Asperger's to sabotage me. For example, after our honeymoon I did not want to stay his family's house to sleep. I am not comfortable with new surroundings, smells, etc....I wanted to stay in a hotel. I can handle them better. And everyone got upset by request and the mother's tell my husband that I just don't want him to be with his family, i don't want them hanging on him or talking with him. His mother went as far to say I know what I am doing and she does not beleive it is Asperger's, and she will not allow me to keep him from his family.

It drives me crazy, just today my step mother inlaw said that she was going to call my husband tonight after he gets back in from Austraila, I told her I just wanted time to be with him when he returns this evening (just to be intimate or romantic, i did not think i needed to spell it out for her). She said "You maybe his wife, but we are his parents and you cannot tell us we cannot call our son."

I know they are jealous of me, but even with Asperger's I would not keep my husband away from his family, he can do what he wants. But i feel that these two mother's use my Asperger's and make me look like the bad guy who wants her husband to herself. How do I deal with these mother's?

How about you ask your husband for his help in this matter. You two are a team and he should help you out by talking you up to his mom. Also, he could help you out by calling his mom once in a while, just so that the mother can't complain you don't let him talk to her. If your husband helps you, you can take the mean-spirited power away from her, and all your lives will be easier.

I really hope this situation revolves itself in your favor.

Tallgirl.

These are your husband's parents and he needs to be the one to put them in check. You are his wife now and your welfare comes first. I don't think there's anything worse than mothers who won't cut the apron strings because they're essentially saying that they own their son and he's a possession they can control. If your husband doesn't come to an understanding with his folks and stick up for you now, it's only going to get worse and they'll eventually hurt your marriage.

As for your AS, that's just an issue they're using to manipulate the situation. If you didn't have AS, it would be something else they'd harp on.

The anagram for mother in law is woman hitler.