pissed off with someone

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when I get into a conflict or I feel hurt by someone, I get mad and pissed off at the person, and however hard I try to be reasonable and let it go, but it doesn't work. I can chew on it for so long, I feel like suffocating.

How long do you stay angry with someone???

Last edited by Loborojo on 04 Dec 2008, 10:07 pm, edited 2 times in total.

a long time....I don't get mad easily, but when I do, I may even lose a friendship over it
Like one of my friends. She asked me to go out with her...

Her words:"we should do something on saturday?"
me:"yeah"
her:"ok, see you then!"
then she sees one of her other friends in the hallway.

Her:so are we still on for saturday?
her friend:yeah, I'll be there!

She didn't know I was behind her and heard her ask her friend to do something instead. I haven't said a word to her since.

For me it depends but I usually get over it fast. With an apology, I get over it a lot quicker.


The longest time I have been mad at someone was four months which was in 2003. Maybe longer than that because I can remember my mother telling me I was mad at her for things from when I was seven or eight when I was 12. We had to work it out together with my shrink.
Why was I mad at my mother? Because I thought she let bullies hurt me. I assumed she knew what was going on in school, kids would hurt me again and again at home despite my mother sending them home. She let those kids play with me because I wanted to play with them and she wanted me to be happy and have friends. Besides I would get upset and then be over it the next day. That's the kind of person I was back then because I was very naive and didn't understand other people's actions. Then it all started to hurt me later in life, when I realized how mean they were and how bad my life was. Now I don't care because I did have a good life, my family and all the things we did together. At least we traveled and went to places, and didn't get locked out of the house like two of my friends did because their parents and grandparents didn't want to do their job supervising them. They even locked them out on rainy days.

Hanging onto anger is no good for anyone, but I know how hard it is to let go of it. I am the queen of grudge holding.. and trying to fix that. If someone purposely pisses you off, then just remember that the person is not good enough to be in your life.. and move on (easier said than done but.. try, it's so much better for you!)

It makes me sad and angry at the same time, because I realise how hard it is to keep friends....as if I am always looking to find a reason to end the relationship

I understand how that is.

It depends on how severely someone pisses me off.
Someone once said some pretty horrible things about me. It's been 2 months and I still can't let it go.
I know now that this person is not worth my time.

I've only been angry a couple of times in my life.

When someone hurts me enough to make me angry, I just stop interacting with them. I should probably forgive them, but eh, I ain't the Son of Man.

I got into a fight with a coworker last Friday, and I'm still upset with the S.O.B. I don't mess with people, let me state that for the record. This guy doesn't like me because I'm young and he thinks I am a 'young punk' who is disrespectful and snobby.

I am not snobby, but I have an air about me. I'm sorry if I come across that way, I just SUCK at dealing with people - particularly jerks who start fights with people for no reason. Why? Because I said I was too busy at the moment to drop what I was doing just because he was demanding something of me? He's not my boss. I don't care that he's older than me, THAT doesn't make him my boss. We don't even work in the same department, so we're actually equals as far as the corporate chain goes.

So yeah I get mad and I CAN hold grudges for a while, depending on the severity of the issue. He's leaving the company in a few months and I couldn't be happier. I have always treated him with respect because he's older than me, and I've always been nice to him even when he didn't deserve it. For him to get in my face and act as if I'm dirt under his feet... that's bull. I told my supervisor this has happened many times before, and if it happens again I will go over his head if I have to in order to get it to stop.

It takes a hell of a lot to make me angry, most of the time I am quite a passive person.
However if someone i care about upsets me, then its like a nuclear fall out.
And whilst I can eventually forgive, I can never forget
Thankfully people pissing me off and me getting mad happens rarely.

I finally found something that helps me. Last year I was stabbed in the back by two separate people. It was purely hate out of their own insecurities on their part and I was the one to suffer. What I finally came to realize was that allowing them to make me miserable was effecting my life. Why should we let others run our lives?

Is this a friend? Someone who is around a lot? If they hurt you they aren't worth keeping around. It depends on the situation though. The people who hurt me were online so it was easier to put them out of my life... well kinda they still stalk my site with proxies.

I got out a piece of paper (it's more physical then typing and printing - earn the words!) I wrote out the situation, my anger, my hurt, what I would tell them if they were sitting in front of me, every thought in my mind about the person. Then I took the paper & burned it. As it was burning I forgave them for what they did to me. That was the hardest part, but the burning act helps that process. Forgive them & let them leave your thoughts. Be done with them.

I have the opposite problem, I have a hard time staying mad long enough to let people know that I am seriously not going to put up with any of their BS , I can be very assertive when someone challenges me, but if I don't have a chance to react to something immediately, I have a hard time responding in a way that shows that I mean it.. sometimes I even laugh when I am trying to tell someone I am not okay with something they did.

If someone pushes my boundaries or does inconsiderate things to me on a consistent basis, my only recourse is to cut them out of my life, which is strange given that I am very good with setting firm boundaries with my kids, I guess maybe I feel like I shouldn't have to with adults.

I can't even stay mad at my jerk of a husband long enough to get it through to him that we are NOT getting back together, we have been separated for years and he still thinks there is a chance because I suck at being mean (and cause he is psychotic )

This might sound crazy but, ever think maybe she wanted to hang out with both of you at the same time?

When someone does something bad to me for no apparent reason and they have previously shown liking, I get extremely confused. Then there's an endless fluctuation between anger and feeling nothing. Others say I should get more angry.

I cannot show anger or figure out whether others did something intentionally. Even if things improve I never forget.

Sometimes I can be angry with people, but I am reacting too strong or too weak. I can never get the right tone.

When I react too weak, I can stay angry with them for a long time. Some people I would not speak to for three months. Some times the contact came back, but most of the times I lost track of them.

I think I may have missed some potential friends there, but keeping them as friends without letting them notice my emotions? No, I could not do that!

The good thing would be to speak my mind in a decent manner and letting people know why I am angry with them. But that would take a lot of practice, hopefully TS is better at it.

Petty.
Were you expecting a full 24 hour window of committment from your friend?
Wouldn't it be reasonable to assume that she had made other plans that wouldn't actually conflict with the ones she made with you?
Without giving your friend the opportunity to explain, or even back-peddle and make up some excuse the only person who wasn't a true friend is you.

It takes a heckuva lot more work to maintain a friendship.