For those Aspies least affected by social prob, what r they?

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I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand what you're asking.

Do you want to know what the social problems are that Aspies face or are you looking for a name for Aspies who are least affected by them?

Please reword your question, and I'll be happy to answer it for you to the best of my ability.

They are not really AS.

I'm pretty well integrated most of the time. At least in situations when I'm comfortable and I'm in my element. Outside of my element, I'm painfully shy, extremely aware that every word that comes out of my mouth is somehow extremely inappropriate, and very aware that my invisible "weird" forehead tattoo has now become a blinking yellow arrow sign with a bullhorn attached. I become extremely aware that my sense of humour is WAY off and that I dress weird.

I just have adopted a policy of standing back and waiting, watching what others are doing in the situation. I also became Miss Clinging Climbing Ivy my husband says. He always knows what to do, so I just wait for him to do it. Even when he screws up, it's okay. When I screw up it usually involves an intervention or guys in blue uniforms. Weird, huh?

what the social problems that Aspies who are on the higher end of social abilities compared to other Aspies have?

What do you mean by least affected? I live on my own and have a full-time job.

Yet I have no friends. None. I do not have people I regularly "hang out with" in the evenings or on weekends. I don't have good friends I can talk to about issues of importance to me or merely for the sake of conversation. So I get bored. Yes, the aspie interests can't alone make life rewarding or fun; they pass the time.

A lot of the time, Aspies with good social skills will have as a main problem the exhaustion that comes from thinking very hard in order to socialize. Even when they socialize well, they have to try very hard to do it, and it takes up a lot more of their effort than most people; and there is a persistent feeling of acting a part or pretending to be somebody else.

But remember that your level of skill at socializing is fairly unrelated to the amount of distress from social problems. By all accounts, my social skills are quite horrible (I don't know how bad they are because I actually don't have enough insight to know!), and I have little or no social contact most weeks; but I also have very little actual distress associated with my isolation. On the other hand, people who are clumsy, sensitive extroverts will have the social skills I have by the time they are half my age, but probably a great deal more distress. Social phobia will vastly increase an Aspie's trouble with social situations, whatever his actual level of skill.

Last edited by Callista on 11 Dec 2008, 8:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

^^Good points, Callista. Agreed.

Z

All aspies have social problems, even if they love to talk to people.


I can talk up a storm and I tend to do most of the talking while the person hardly has anything to say. I guess they have nothing much to say to me. If they did, they would ask right or talk about what they want to talk about.

I do fine with a small group of people but if there are a lot of them, I don't do so well. I often interrupt, and I sometimes say innaproppiate things or bring up innaproppiate topics. I often say things people wouldn't normally say. I have been told this so that's how I know. I have learned to not talk about my obsessions all the time or else people get tired of it and won't want me around. I am also shy so it makes it hard for me to make friends and talk to new people and carry on a conversation but once I am not shy anymore, I open up and say more open things. I look at people when I feel comfortable.

Small talk, I use the same responses I give to "What ups?" "How's it going?" "Hows the weather?"
I prefer conversations over a small talk because I find them a lot easier.


I say I'm borderline AS. My social skills are good for an aspie but bad for a none aspie. If someone says I have great social skills, they probably mean I have great social skills for an aspie but they are still lacking but my social skills are better than other aspies.

I believe that I have Aspergers, but I have not received a medical diagnosis, so I would advise against taking this statement as a statement of concrete fact.

One of the main problems that affects me socially is working up the courage to talk to new people. I'm fine around people who I know and talk to daily, although I can be a weird sometimes and come up with "stupid" ideas or fail to get something which should be obvious to me.

I hate speaking in front of crowds, and I tend to make many pauses and on-the-spot omissions when giving a speech or reading a paper aloud in class. In addition, my voice is fairly monotonous, fast, and almost silent when I'm uncomforable, and I have very little control over this.

Another problem I have (and is amost universal among Aspies) is making proper eye contact - especially with strangers.

I'll say this again: there is a possibility that I actually do not have Asperger's, which would completely invalidate this information. I hope that I have helped you to gain a lead in your studies however.

~Saiyan

I love to talk but tend to give monologues. I have trouble with the normal give-and-take conversation between friends and acquaintances. Also, I usually don't realize I'm being annoying until it's too late.

Saiyan--what you're describing sounds like very common social-phobia stuff (with the possible exception of eye contact). Since lots of Aspies have social phobia, and have those same experiences, I'd say it's valid.

I had a web chat tonight. I couldn't even look the guy in the eyes in the eyes (over the web cam).

Most of my talking seems to be monologues (as snuuz said).
I have about 1 friend I might hang out with once a month. I do go to school, which is enough socializing for me. Eventually it gets exhausting.
I'm not sure what part of the spectrum I am on. But it does impairs my social ability.

I'm not sure how to say this without being too cynical. But the higher class of social skills you develop, the higher class of both friends and predators you tend to attract.

In my last effort to be "out there", I met some truly wonderful people and did things that I had never done before. On the other hand, I also ran into one truly creepy person, who probably latched onto me because she was jealous and also because I was vulnerable. What happens is that there is always some creep in the environment. Whether or not they latch onto you or target you has little to do with how good your social skills are, or how likable you are. It has to do with how vulnerable you are compared to how much attention you attract. If you attract a lot of attention but you are very vulnerable, you are in trouble. And the higher you go in society, the more snakes and sociopaths and users there are around you. There are some real weirdos in positions of power, far more than there are running neighborhood stores and driving trucks. What happens in some white collar professions is far less ethical than what goes on in the blue collar world, which is relatively transparent compared to the rest of society. (The Wall Street meltdown story is not yet really being told).

The best social skill you can have, if you go out in the world, is the ability to protect yourself against Machiavellians and abusers. Without that, I was just developing myself into a more and more attractive and pleasing target.

Apart from the fact that you become more of a target the better your social skills get, there is the fact that people start making a lot of overtures to you and wanting to be with you. I found I really have little interest in all that time invested with other people compared my my special interests. So it's bad for me to go out and socialize a lot, because I'm pretty cool toward having any one on one relationships out there. I found that I liked the IDEA of having a full social life much more attractive than the reality turned out to be. I am really well-suited to being closeted up with my special interest of the year/season and I get too stressed and unhappy when I don't do that enough.

Me too. I like to post and give monologues. But I don't like to have relationships.

This is interesting,

I have met many wonderful people who are on my wavelength in real life, but haven't had any of these machivellians since i was 18. In fact people I've met on internet (bar a very important few, who have become close friends) have been ruder and more arrogant towards me (and maybe I towards them) than I feel they would be in real life and in person. Maybe it's because I have become more interested in people and try to listen to them, that makes them more sincere to me, while I find it difficult to do that in the zone of the internet.