Parents!! !

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My parents are confusing me. My dad always says one thing (usually the reasonable thing), then my stepmom says something else. Well, last night they got into a huge argument over what my schedule for this week is. Since my dad flies out from Tues morning to Thrus night; I have to be with my stepmom. She has stated she is not talking to me and does not want me to talk to her. I feel really lousy, I'm literally losing sleep over this. I just get the impression my parents would be happy if it wasn't for me, the messed up child they're stuck with...my dad says he loves me, but my stepmom rarely does, and usually only when asked/prompted...Anybody have any ideas as to what I can do???

Sure. Simply realize that arguments between your father and stepmother are not your fault, whether they have to do with you or not. This sort of thing often happens with neurotypical children, as well, and likely has little to do with the fact that you have Asperger's Syndrome. This isn't something that you can expect to "fix," because you aren't responsible for your parents' civil unrest in the first place.

It is possible that your stepmother simply resents having to spend her time raising another person's child. While it may be unfortunate, this is not abnormal behavior for a stepparent. Relationships between children and their stepparents are often poor, and they are sometimes far worse than yours sounds. Ever heard the saying, "I'll beat you like a redheaded stepchild?" Take a guess as to how it originated.

The best advice I can give you is to ride out the situation and to keep in mind that no family situation is perfect. I personally grew up with only one parent. She was an alcoholic and was constantly verbally abusive toward my sister and me. I know another girl with a mother and stepfather who don't even make pretenses indicating that they want her around. If anything, your situation strikes me as refreshingly normal.

If you're doing something wrong, you'll know about it. Otherwise, the problem is out of your hands. Family dynamics can be difficult, and if you are the child, your power is severely limited.

Don't despair- all parents disagree on how things should be managed. I'm a single mum, and every now and then I meet someone I really like, and the hardest thing is to try to convince them that my decisions for my son are based on nine years of knowing my child. Parenting is vague and tricky, with no clear rules, so everytime someone says or does something, another will suggest something different. Parents of children who are the original parents apparently disagree as much - I think it's human nature. JayShaw is right to say that it is not your fault. I could never blame my child for the indecisions and arguments I have over how to discipline/entertain/educate him. I've been to parenting classes, psychologists, psychiatrists (for myself), asked other parents, asked my parents etc. etc., but at the end of the day there is always room to doubt, and room to believe you might have done the wrong thing by your child. I don't think that being a step child means you have to get less love however. My son has a 'stepdad' who was at his birth, and until he was about 2. He's not my son's biological dad, but the relationship couldn't be closer. He will drive 1000km (literally - from Canberra to the Gold Coast), to spend time with my son, and he knows that he is loved. I tell him he's lucky, because he has two dads - his 'stepdad' and his biological dad (although he hasn't met his biological dad).
I had so much difficulty with my parents, that for years I thought I was adopted. It's only know when I see how similar we are in someways, that I'm convinced that I really am their child!

Thank you for responding. The situation still really hasn't improved, although she does tell me to do chores (apparently this or insulting me isn't 'talking'). Yesturday, out of nowhere, she gave me a S'more and was acting all nice for about a half hour, then she was more evil than before. Arrrrrg...make up your mind! Really, it's exasperating. I am sick of this! Either you don't like me or you do! How can you go from acting like you love a person to smacking and yelling at them? I guess now I'm venting. I've read 9 novels in the past 3 days and watching my Blue Seed tapes I got 12 times.

Parents are hard to figure out. I'm cutting down the time that I spend around mine. My parents and I love eachother very much, but we have a strange way of showing it. My mom rolls her eyes when I buy something that would make me happy. Usually something British, because she thinks that I should be ultra patriotic like the rest of my family. My dad associates Asperger's Syndrome with something that's much more serious and he states facts to me that I found very obvious when I was nine. He tells me that he knows that I'm smart and than he acts like I'm 'slow'. I tell them that I love them by buying them extravagant gifts, when they would rather have me put my guard down and communicate with them. I don't say it with words. I say it with money. The family thing is forgien to me.

Rebel, I do the same thing with expressing. I buy gifts with my money and this is how I say things. I communicate with my dad, but the rest nope. I'm on Pluto, my dad is on Mars, and the rest of the family is on the moon! (figurative language)