Tidal wave of stress - Christmas thoughts!

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asplanet
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Joined: 10 Nov 2007
Age: 65
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,258
Location: Cyberspace, New Zealand

21 Dec 2008, 11:31 pm

I love the lights, candles, snowflakes, trees and children's smiles... as for me I enjoy making others happy, but somehow the magic has never been there for me, I often think this is because my imagination is better than my reality at times...

My idea Christmas ice palace, lots of white lights, snow and a sledge with white huskies and of course no pressure, someone else to organize and do... dreaming of course, but maybe partly my Christmases as a child best forgotten and as an adult often becomes a huge stress trying to please everyone else and as for myself, maybe seen to many movies but some think always seems to be missing and happy when my life in back in some sort of order...

Today I feel sad, trapped within my own self made glass cage, where do you reach out too when mostly others do not understand, or wrongly judge. At times I feel like I have been sent to exile by the world, when everything I most love seems out of reach… a disconnect, at times I feel others unaware how their actions cause me so much pain…, I so want to feel and be apart of the festive season, but also need my life, order back...


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