Derealization, or what else? Please help me

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I don't know if it's normal or not - but I forget everything very fast and the past events are so strange to me and unreal, as if they were only memories of some movie... Something automatic and fake.

I have no memories in my head; no words, no thoughts, not even particular emotions. Only dead, blurred images. I only have general expression coded into my brain either it's joy or pain... Nothing more specified. There is no attachement.

Again this extreme sensation of abstract... But how can the real events be abstract? Yet they are to me... Everything that remains away from me and beyond the range of my senses for a long time - becomes unreal to me and meaningless... Everything, every person, every interest and joy... What's wrong with me? Is it emotional coldness? Aloofness? What is it? I feel so indifferent.

Before answering, are you on any medication? Are you on any ssri?

How many hours a day do you sleep?

Yeh I'm on meds but not ssri. Is it possible it's because of meds? I can not even remember if it was different when I didn't take them...

Not to take away from the post, but that would make a very interesting movie about someone in a coma who had been experiencing life as a spirit that could interact with the world, who had awakened from the coma, and is trying to find that special someone through the warped and half forggotten memories of being in a coma. She was in love with the spirit that returned to the body of the man in the coma, but the spirit was in the form of his true inner self, and he has to awaken to the memories that are half lost to him, and save her from falling over the edge of despair from losing the one she loved. His spirit left her in the middle of the night, so she suspects that he left her for his "better" world. As he awakens more, she is drawn closer to his real world body, until they finally meet, and, well, you can figure it out from there.

Anyways, I too have had memories that seem distant and almost as if they are someone elses, most of those I associate with not being truly me, and having come from some blurred delusion of my own reality. If everything feels that way, it could be that you are experiencing a time in your life where you are under so much stress that you feel disconnected with the world around you, or are depressed enough that you feel the same feeling of disconnection. On that, are you feeling any better than when you posted before?

I have what you have-memories are just images I know, however, there are no emotions attached and they're just like a film. It doesn't bother me, I'm fine with it. I don't think there's anything you can do about it, maybe you could try to attach on purpose emotions to it, try to remember what emotions you have at a moment, so you can remember later on. I don't know if it works, so no false hope.

Three thoughts:

1. If you're going through a depression, it might be momentarily impossible for you to feel what you felt before you became depressed.

2. Emotions often attach to physical sensations. For me and many others, the sensation with the strongest power of recall is smell. If you're trying to remember how you felt about a person, smell an article of clothing or a toiletry that they've worn. If you're trying to recall a place, eat something (or try to recall the sensation of it) that you ate at that place.

3. If you have an unstable personality (as I have) you might have difficulties recalling something that's happened because quite literally, it didn't happen to you; it happened to the other person you were at that moment. The next time you become that person again (usually due to being in a similar situation), the memories might come flooding back with all the emotions attached.

Also, some kinds of strokes or inherent brain damage cause those kinds of memory. My marvelous Scribblenaut-programming son cannot seem to remember any of his childhood or teen years. We're almost identical, but I can remember my childhood extremely well, so it's a bit distressing when I try to reminisce about charming things he has done and he doesn't know what I'm talking about at all. For me the vague years are the years I spent raising my daughter with autism plus and dealing with her constant violence. A few days ago I was reading some old family newsletters and was thinking over and over again, "I had forgotten that. Wow. I actually did have some good times then." So yes, stress messes with the hippocampus in the brain which is responsible for memory becoming long term.