What does it mean to "talk at" someone?

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What does it mean to "talk at" someone rather than "talk to" someone? It has been mentioned that I "talk at" people, but I don't quite understand the meaning of this. Can someone please clarify?

It means you launch into a long-winded monologue without thinking of the person on the other end and what he or she has to say.

you're broadcasting, but no one's picking up at the other end. Think of it as 'hard of listening'...

it means we take hostages who are simply there to listen to our monologues on our special interests or current obsessions.
we do not mean any harm. we are usually just so excited to be expressing our passions.

we do not intuitively understand the unspoken social cues that go along with reciprocal to-ing and fro-ing in conversation..
you can buy a really daggy "art of conversation" book and fine tune if it is that important to you.


i ended up in a rehab many years ago and they had all these printed sheets on "how to make a conversationf flow," and "how to be an ACTIVE listener." i learned a lot from them.

i still do it a lot, although it has improved.

these, days in conversation with others, I have to think to myself, "ok, nod now, and exclaim wow.," or a little later i will try to catch a few words of what they are saying and i think to myself," ok, millie, follow that and make a comment on that," and then i say out loud, "oh really? so you were there at the party with 7 other people and you were all having a fantastic time. that sounds really nice...mmmmm..how fffffffun!"

(and inside i am squirming and thinking, ...jesus..when can i escape this utterly meaningless exchange?)

no wonder i am exhausted by too much social contact......

"Talking at" means you are talking to someone but they aren't really listening to a word you're saying.

When you are more interested in saying what you are saying, and not so much in how it's received, or in someone's reaction to it. Or you don't even expect or want feedback, you just want them to hear it.

You know, I think I do that often too. I don't mean to, but it happens.

I interpret it as, talking to someone without considering their perspective. Not considering what they know, if they are interested, etc.

Talking to me suggests the person has a sense of who I am. Talking at me suggests that they are talking with me as an audience, but with no sense of me, and also not engaging with me, or doing so in a way that still isn't really seeing me.

The distinction is I think more meaningful from the perspective of the listener than from the perspective of the speaker.

To "talk at" someone means to not be directly engaged in a conversation.

In order to "talk to" someone you both need to exchange information, and then respond or comment on it.

My boss only talks at me, rarely to me.

1) talking about something is an important part of the learning process. When I learn something I really find fascinating, I need to talk to somebody about it, partly because it helps me remember it and partly because it helps me express my enthusiasm. I like having someone I can "talk at," even if I know they're not really paying attention. My wife and i hvae a tacit agreement about this. She has ADD and can't pay attention for more than a minute or so. So I will often tell her, "I just need to say this, but I don't care if you're paying attention."
2) When we visited Florida when I was in third grade, we arrived at my great uncle's house. He asked me how my day was. I said, "Well, I woke up at 8:30, then I had breakfast. . . . " I gave him a play-by-play of my day until arriving at his door. He walked in the hous eand said to my parents, "A half an hour ago, I asked that kid a question. He just finished the answer. I'm never asking that kid another question as long as I live!"
3) Flannery O'Connor's novel _Wise Blood_ starts with this sequence on a train where this woman named Mrs. Hitchcock is gossiping to a person who's barely listening. O'Connor uses the following line, whcih I found hilarious (and so often true of myself): "Mrs. Hitchcock lost her train of talk."

An' he was all talkin' a' me, an' I was like, woah boy, getcho smadass head ouda mah face, freak!

Sorry, but that's what comes to mind.

It's like 'shouting at' but quieter.
IOW, rhetorical, not expecting or wanting a response, like baying at the moon ... reciprocation not expected.

Diagnostically Aspergic.

In practical terms, it means you don't stop every few sentences to ask for feedback and allow the other person to talk. You're not giving them openings to say what they think about the topic (like "What do you think about that?") If they do try to interject, you probably run them over and continue your monologue because you don't want to lose your train of thought.

NT conversations are a back and forth, and if they get interrupted they're able to return to their original train of thought rather than being completely derailed.