Communicating

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I hope this is the appropriate place to post this question.

My father has not formally been diagnosed, but has many Asperger's traits. Our relationship has its ups and downs but I'm really hoping to improve my communication with him.

In the recent past I experienced a traumatic event. It's been a difficult time for me, and I know he has difficulty understanding and empathizing. In an effort to help, he has begun researching a topic that is very hurtful to me. He continues to offer information on a subject that is not only unrelated, but incredibly hurtful. It is difficult for me to not get emotional when these subjects come up, but I need to tell him with strong words that he must stop his research and back off. Because of the sensitive nature of the subject, I thought email might be the best option. He truly believes he is helping and I need to tell him in a way that he understands, that he is not.

Can anybody give me advice on how to communicate to someone with Asperger's, that they are hurting me? He strongly believes that his efforts are for the best and it is really breaking me.

Thanks

The email may be a good idea. I am on the 'lower end' of the spectrum. I need people to be honest with me, and specific. I don't know how sensitive your father is, reason saying an autistic trait can be having emotions easily hurt.

Email may be a good solution here.

Or, if you'd rather speak with him, sit down with him when you are feeling level-headed and calm, and explain in a clear, blunt, specific way, that discussing this topic is hurtful to you, and that you would like it to stop.

Good luck, and please tell us how it goes.

P.S - Asperger is spelled with a P!

Sometimes aspies can come off as being insensitive to the feelings of others, even with the best intentions. I have been there, and so has my dad... If you prefer to write him an e-mail, then go with that route, but make sure you tell him, not ask- stop bringing it up. The more direct you are with aspies the better the communication, has been my experience. You might have to remind him a few times, but it will sink in eventually. It's not personal.
Hope this helps.

The words you've written above could almost just be copied and pasted into an email to him.. just give it to him point blank like that, that he thinks he's being helpful but he's not and it's not only hurtful but breaking you and you need him to stop. Pretty simple.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Thanks everybody for the helpful advice! I'll keep it clear and simple. It's good to have some outsider's perspectives on things. It's definitely helped me clear my thoughts and think about what I want/need to say.