Outcasts being with outcasts

Post Reply New Topic

I have always been an outcast and most of my friends are outcasts as well, I am also attracted to girls that most NTs would find unattractive but when I say they're beautiful they say I'm lying or think I am just trying to be smooth.

Is it typical for aspies to look to outcasts or people like them for friendship/relationships because it is easier to fit in with them?

I realize that may be a stupid question to ask but look at the poll, I made it good!

The popular crowd bores me. So naturally I flock to groups of people that are not quite normal. I am less productive, because I would rather talk about my special interests (I hate that term, and I prefer obsessions to it, as it just fits better for me). I have found that groups that rely on topics that are my special interest for common ground tend to suit me well, so like an anime club or tech club, any gaming group, etc. Unfortunatly, off topic discussion kills me, I don't have anything off topic to talk about, as it isn't me.

My natural allegiance is to outcasts (of a non-violent variety), and I generally identify with anyone (again, of a non-violent nature) who is outside the mainstream culture.

When I was a child, I always befriended the girls who were bullied or ignored. I remember one girl, she'd been born with breathing problems, and she had to have a tracheotomy. She still had the hole in her neck, and she caught such s**t for it. Plus, she was heavy and had serious self-esteem issues. I got to be friendly with her and found she was a really nice person. One time, I fell out of a tree and got knocked out for a few seconds. When I came to, she was just sitting there and said, "Are you okay now?" I said, "Yeah, just don't tell my mother because she'll have a fit." She didn't. She was good people.

To quote the t-shirt, bumper sticker, ect: Normal People Worry Me

Last edited by zghost on 01 Jan 2009, 12:18 am, edited 1 time in total.

I never fit in with anyone, even the other outcasts. In fact, I was an outcast from the other outcasts.

My friends have similar taste in music as me, so while some may be outcasts there are some that I would think of as popular. When you're out of school it's hard to tell who is popular or not. To me those with a lot of friends are popular, even if they weren't that way in school. So, there's few outcasts in my small group of friends. I'm probably the biggest outcast out of all of them.

I don't view people as outcasts generally... It is said that you would think of yourself that way. Society has hated me becausde of the prejudice of "there is something not normal about you." Students at highschool while I was there attributed it to the idea that I would be the next school shooter, and therefore refused to bother me, and would often treat me better than other people. But that was because they figured if I would go psycho and start my rampage, I wouldn't possibly kill them, they were nice to me... Lol, I loved that treatment they gave me, until the vp tried to interrogate me about a death list I supposedly had that students were spreading rumors about. Its too bad that that treatment was too good to be without consequence. And as a note, I prefer non-violence to violent solutions, and therefore, not a killer type person, in fact, in order for me to be able to attack another person, I have to be hit first and forced to defend myself.

I myself am...strange and unusual -Beetlejuice...

Someone else remembers beetlejuice?!?

I had a therapist tell me once that, "hurt people find hurt people." Interpret that as you may, it always made a bit of sense to me. People who have been pushed to the fringe, either by past hurts or by neurological condition, will of course always find like minds out there.

The friends I had in school were smart, eccentric, and not at all popular. Just like me. As an adult, I seem to have lost all my friends. I really seriously don't have any. I have casual acquaintances at work, and random people that I know. But no friends.

Think about this for a second. Your question implies that the individual still indeed desires friendships and relationships. That seems to be a normal-enough human thing. We are social creatures, and more or less designed to be around others. But I tell you, if I had the choice, I would not seek out others. I would disappear in the woods and dissolve back into Nature. This may seem like idealist escapism, but it is the honest-to-god truth about how I feel. 25 years of pain and estrangement has put a yawning gulf between me and society. I empathize better with plants and dirt than I do with human beings. While some part of me would like to change this, most of me wants to follow it and spend the rest of my life in a grove or a garden; where I feel good. If I can find some people who may want to join me there, the more the merrier. But that is where I exist. I don't much seek to venture out into the world anymore.

I loved Beetlejuice when I was younger.

Cast-offs topic

I feel like the old clothes someone gives to charity.

Problem is, even among outcasts I am an outcast!

At school I used to befriend the boy who had no friends because I felt sorry for him. I didn't get picked on that much by other guys, mainly by girls.

Nope, I never liked to hang out with losers.

PS: I was an outcast myself.

I bet I could get along with you, I might even been more of an outcast than you are.

P.S. Wow I got a lot of results quickly!

Wow, a simple yet surprisingly interesting topic (for me, at least).

I can both relate and not relate to the notion of being an "outcast".
In grade K I was the coolest kid at school, which always struck me as weird.
In grade 1 I was made fun of by one of my "best friends". Which resulted on my dropping to the normal scale of coolness.
In grade 2-5 I started becomming a lot more mature in comparisson to the rest of my peers (the term "little professor" and "little gentleman" comes to mind). I began distancing myself during this time period.
In 6th grade (middle school), I was near the low of the poll and only had maybe 4 or so friends. One was very popular, one was quite unpopular, the other was a transfer/foreign student, the 4th was...well...peculiar.
In 7-9th grade I had alread hated (strong word, but accurate) my peers and distanced myself. I was ridiculued and shrugged it off a lot. In fact, one of my peers tried to kill me once (came up behind me with a rope and wrapped it around my throat, choking me). He was trying to gain cred/approval from his peers from this, but instead he got expelled (duh).
In 10-12th grade is when things really changed...People started liking me again. I was that kid who stood up occasionally for the other picked-on kids, but I didn't care enough to befriend them (sorry if that makes me seem like a jackass). I actually started standing up for ppl in 4th grade, but I really didn't start to associate myself with this thinking until high school. I would see my so-called "friends" pick-on other kids and I'd walk in-between them, stare my "friend" in the face and go, "First off, you're acting like a jerk, stop it. Can't you realize there is nothing good about what you're doing? Second, continue and you lose my friendship and you'll have to deal with me"...They would generally stop...they weren't what I'd call "bullies", but they were highly immature. Regardless, it was after doing this for a long time that these immature kids that I've known since pre-school even were asking me to hang-out, go to parties, ask me what I was doing later. It was rather, strange.

Now, in college. It's kind-of the same thing. Except there are too many people and I don't stand-up for random people very often (because, people are better about it in public settings here at college). My friends are from all walks of life. Emo, goth, jockies, nerds, etc. Basically every walk of life, with the exception of "preppies". I will say, I do find myself making my friends on the more emotional-side, in regards to the female gender. A lot of them have messed up histories (running away from home, drug addictions, parental abuse, rape, suicide attempts, etc). Who you become friends with depends on not WHO you are (an "outcast" as you say), but rather WHERE you are going. ASD is considered a developmental disorder, after all. My types of friends changed with every passing year, because I didn't get stuck thinking, "well, people don't find me cool, I guess I'll be the nerd for the rest of my life and keep on spending 10-12 hours a day on my computer".

I hope what I wrote doesn't seem like it was off-topic. What I am trying to show is that things change and that everyone is someone elses outcast and that characterizations have little-to-no importance anyhow. Determine where you want to go and whoever your friends are, great. The fact that you have them is all that really matters here. I probably did a poor job of showing that though, my apologies. I tried, ha-ha.