How Aspies judge people

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Something crossed my mind today - do Aspies judge people differently than NTs? Supposedly people with AS don't observe/interpret social norms the same way as NTs, and I wondered if this affects the way we see others, especially those we don't know.

For example, today I was leaving work with my friend who happens to be a bigger girl, she had to get off the elevator to drop off a mail package and after she got off the elevator the other lady in the elevator says to me "she could use the excercise" I was so angry I could do nothing but stand there and glare at her - How can someone judge someone they've never met based solely on the fact on how they look? It's something I've never understood. In fact I can't judge someone until I've either talked to them or have learned about their personality. That's probably why the friends I've had throughout my life have some way or another been a social outcast. Is that just me being not shallow or is that something dealing with AS?

i'm not sure about the bodies, but I'm getting to be more often attracted to the average-looking girls when it comes to the face.

Some place that I can't remember now, I read a description of aspies. It stated that basically we will treat a bum on the street with the same courtesy as we would with the president (I'm paraphrasing) and that we don't recognize-(status, social heirarchies), something like that. The only reason I remember a little about it is because I felt the tone of that article was condescending to us. I remember thinking, "Why would that be viewed in a negative way, everyone should be treated with the same courtesy."

I have always gotten upset when people criticize others for the way they look, talk, dress, etc. From my own experiences, I would tend to agree that at least some of us judge people differently than NTs do.

I agree! I read something that says virtually the same thing as that, and my reaction was
"But but but... that's a GOOD thing!...
...
....
Everyone is stupid."

Thats true with me.. only because I don't see why the president deserves any more respect than normal people. That might have something to do with not being American though.

To answer your question: It doesn't have anything to do with AS, or you being not shallow, it's just your inability to see what most people are like. Some people are just bitchy. You would be suprised how common it is - what she said is often what people are thinking but not saying.

Its natural to judge someone superficially at first, if you don't know them, you can't just walk around with no opinion of them until you know them personally, I don't believe anyone does this. I certainly don't.

I think that we do. Personally, by default, I see everyone as 'nice, honest, well-intentioned' How naive or what! I indeed treat everyone with the same respect, courtesy. Literally, from presidents to down and outs on the street. However else can one interpret such declarations as 'All men are created equal'?? (BTW, didn't I read somewhere that Thomas Jefferson is thought to have been from Planet Aspie??)

But I can never see ulterior or nefarious motives which means I get stung, conned, cheated on a frequent basis. It's always painful yet I never seem to learn. But it also means that I've attracted some truly wonderful and kind NTs of the highest integrity into my life (birds of a feather and all!).

It appears to me that NTs are far more circumspect and judge people very rigorously, and base their judgements on superficialities and what the other person can do for them in quite a mercenary way. That's so distasteful to my mind.

I also think it's somehow very intrusive to judge another - what right or special knowledge have I got that gives me any capacity to know another so well that I can say anything about their innermost workings or character and, worse, label them negatively? Hey! Was Jesus an Asp?! ! ("Judge not lest ye be judged"!)

i think when one sees an overweight person they immediately think lack os self control/self discipline and immediately look down upon them...when peoploe see aspies having a meltdown they do the sam ething..it is an nt human nature thing to judge on appearance, aspies do it too, but maybe not as quickly as nt's

Like it or not, the fact of the matter is that if a person LOOKS like they are significantly overweight, they almost always ARE. Therefore it is reasonable to judge whether a person is significantly overweight merely by looking at them. And then once you have determined that they are significantly overweight, then it is a logical next step to think that they could benefit from some exercise. Indeed, it is a medical fact that overweight people benefit from exercise.

I do not see a problem with the judgement that was made in this case. The judgement might still be incorrect, but it has a rather high probability of being correct.

you answer is right it is the correct answer but not the appropriate answer..your hard core aspie, it is nice to be reminded sometimes.

I don't think AS<>NT is the independant variable.

I think she meant "why judge someine on their looks rather than their personality (which they had no way of knoewing unless they talked to them."

I have just gained a boyfriend who is painfully shy, and is extrremely overweight (by his own admission.) But he's sweet and romantic, has a great personality AND willing to put up with my Aspie ways. He also is modest to the point of putting himself down-which can be annoying!

As a Who fan, his nickname is TARDIS-because despite his physical bulk, he is "Bigger on the inside than the outside" due to his personality.

Julie

Perhaps, Jenny. I sometimes judge people on their looks more than their personality, because I cannot abide some people. I am unable to really become friends with people who are really odd looking. To me, they constitute germs and uncleanliness, and I cannot bear to interact with them. However, I do not gossip/badmouth people no matter what, regardless of gender/physique/... such as what you are talking about. Personal opinions about other people should be kept to oneself, for they are subjective.

I agree. I don't care whether a person is short, tall, fat, thin, whatever - as long as they're clean. Other than that I don't form an opinion about people until I have spoken to them, or have seen them and how they behave with other people (ie, it's quite clear if they're not nice to others, etc.) Though usually I always assume they're nice - such as other people have posted.

The lady who said "she could use the exercise" did not make any judgement about the overweight person's personality or worth or value.

Unless she said more than the message here says she said. From the information stated in the original message here, there is no evidence to say that the lady made any judgment about the overweight person's personality or value.

As far as we know, she only said "she could use the exercise" and that is most likely a true statement. Do not criticize people for speaking the truth.

Wow! Maybe this is an example of pure, undiluted Aspieness. It is totally obvious to me the malice, judgement and bitchiness in the lady's comment.

I think that is the default mentality for most Aspies. It is like that with me, anyway.