need help with coming up with an appropriate response...

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I'm on my way to getting a dx, i suspect my hubby is AS as well.

long story short...
four years ago my dh had a falling out with his sister. he couldn't understand her issue with him, but he felt he had to fix it. when his brain is faced with trying to fix an unfixable problem, well it imploded. he ended up on a psych ward for 9 days after going 6 weeks without sleeping. when i brought him in he didn't even know what day it was or where he was or barely who he was.


anyway, he hasn't spoken to his sister since.


yesterday his sister had a baby. 5 weeks early. 3lbs, 13oz.

his mother sent him an email about it.

tonight i received a fowarded copy of the same message. i think she must think that he didn't tell me or something since we haven't called her or his sister or anyone else.

i'm guessing we are supposed to call someone and say something, but really, honestly, we don't know what. we haven't spoken to his sister in almost four years. why would we call his mom? what are we supposed to say?

i have been putting together a box with some new cute baby clothes to send her, but we hadn't gotten it out yet. we'll still send it, along with a card. that's about all that dh's therapist has OK'd.

What does your husband want to do about it?

Don't take cues from his mother. I'm in a similar position with my sister that your husband is with his. Mother gets in the middle and tries to bring us together. Encourages me to try to connect. Sister DOES NOT WANT THIS and blows up every time. I'm like your husband and won't let go and would like to fix things, but finally I learned. Sister has to want to as well. Not saying your situation is going to result the same, but I suspect the mother plays a meddling role. It's between your husband and his sister, not you and their mother. You can't take the lead.

But good luck coming up with something helpful. These situations are very trying.

thanks.

i sent email to his mom saying congrats and asking how she was doing. that seemed to be the correct thing.

she's doing okay. i ordered some preemie clothes and had them sent to her.