*I Think That Life Is Not For Me*

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I don't know how to live... I feel so purposeless. I used to be happy with my withdrawal and loneliness, but as I got older and had to start living an independent life I realized that living alone is not possible... There are always things that we need help of others with... But how should I interact with other people if I don't understand anything about them?

I'm not so very good at making friends and having relationships with other people, because there are loads of aspects of interacting which I can't comprehend... Some of them are people's intentions and motives... I mean - I can't understand why people act in certain ways or speak certain things...

I have problems with comprehending my emotions and coping with emotions of others, so I often feel depressed and used. I am very naive; like little child.

Living an independent life isn't so easy as well... I can't find a job, I'm sad, alone and scared. I feel so empty... I can't find a purpose of my existance. Recently even my interests seem stupid and meaningless; I don't find them pleasurous anymore. It's all too much, I don't know what to do... I feel like my life's imprisoning me.

I can identify with what you describe, as I could have written them myself many times so far in my life.

If you want to progress beyond this, I think learning to identify your emotions more frequently (like very frequently) is a critical skill to develop. With that, you can guide yourself to what you need and enjoy. It sounds like you are overwhelmed with feelings well identified at the moment, a prime one being loneliness. You are only 18 -- do you still live with your parents and are they taking good care of you?

You're becoming an adult and are faced with increasing responsibilities. I bet there are lots of other young people on here (I'm in my 40s) who have experienced similar things and one or two of whom might want to become a friend or buddy so you could offer each other mutual support.

I have found a couple of books that are useful in helping me work on emotions. PM me if you want the names. There are many, many more about interpersonal relationships and communication. If y ou start researching with an aim to learn something that can help you, it might cheer you up a bit and you can go out and try some things.

Be kind to yourself. Good luck.

I know life seems life seems pointless, but your not alone, these day is easier to reach out as you have with your post.
Myself, I am clueless on the motivations of others, so I withdraw into myself and hide from the world. Just don't give up,
your to young to be doing that.

I don't live with parents. I live on my own... And once I lived with my parents - they were never taking good care of me, they were only hurting me; that is why I escaped from them. But as I said before - independent life is way too much for me to handle...

I've had periods when I've lost interest in my interests... Usually the interest comes back if I give it time, although there have been a couple of periods in my life when it was several months that I was in that state (after traumatic events). I've spent the last 10 years unable to keep jobs and right now I'm headed back to TX to apply for temporary disability while I get into vocational rehab. If you're having similar problems, you might want to look into disability and/or voc. rehab.

I hope you feel better.

> independent life is way too much for me to handle.

You can't find a job, you say. Are your living circumstances secure? Do you have a roof over your head and food to eat?
What kinds of jobs have you been looking for?
If you have any typing or computer skills, temping is often a good way to get work in Canadian cities, but others may have good ideas for your region.

Good luck.

You are very young to be on your own. You need some sort of support. Is there and autism support network or a disability support group who could offer you some kind of assistance?

Please look for some real life supports. Posting here is good, but go a step further and find some practical help.

Yes, I'm getting some help from asperger's organization which I joined recently. But I still feel bad and feel that my life has no sense

You are listed as UK and spell using the American dictionary? huh...

Anyway...

I am currently awaiting a mentor to help me with AS and I will take this opportunity to maybe socialise with others there like me and maybe they have information I could use that could help me. I never knew of this place, but the people seem OK so far.

I get that feeling sometimes of everything is pointless. That could just be the inability to bond with peers, I don't know. But I never give up. There are people older than me that have got by so why should I give up? I usually keep myself busy by setting up goals for myself, and to make it more easier, I break the main goal up into smaller parts, or checkpoints. For example, I want to go on holiday, but I don't have a passport. So, I set about getting the passport and other documents, and plan the next stage. This method works for me as I have something to work for and nothing seems pointless. There are a few days, but not as much anymore

well death is nothing. prisons can be broken free from but death is final and very still and there is nothing to be experienced in death.

stay and see if it changes. be brave and solemn. nothing is obtained by jumping out of life, as that is obliteration and then the game is over and you are out.

i would want to die if i was a quadruplegic with no hope of recovery, but short of that, i wish to remain and see what happens in the world i live in until i am so old i can not live any longer.

i have known 2 people who ended their life. they both were almost emotionally forgotten by their friends and family after a year from their deaths.

their friends and family got over it and if those suicide friends of mine knew that the world would move on, i think they may have stayed.

people who commit suicide never know the sadness in others that they wish to see crying at their funerals.

people who commit suicide are proving that they reject life and all their friends and loves, and so life is stripped from a suicide victim totally at their request.

suicide is such a final and uncorrectable mistake. it is also against the law.

it is such a severe action that i think the penalty for attempted suicide should be death by lethal injection.

I lived on my own with no support when I was 19. It is possible. I even supported someone else for a few months.

To the OP, I know it is overwhelming but as long as you are searching for help, I am sure it will come your way. Give it a few months. I'd be willing to bet things will fall into place and you'll find yourself in a much happier situation. Just don't give up hope and perseverance.

In which words?

I now live in UK but I'm not originally from here

I'm afraid that would encourage people to commit suicide.

Unfortunatly for me, I have started going through this exact situation myself... I know what I must do, I just don't know how. I need to meet other people so as to be not so lonely. But how do I do something so foriegn to me? How do I break free from this shell of mine and explore the world I belong to. Most of my friends are too far away to be able to help me through this, and my family is in a different city, and even though I see them often enough, it doesn't really help. The only way I will feel any better about myself is to find some other people to be with, and that seems impossible for me. Only difference is I have a job. If I could help you in person, I would, but you are so far away, it seems that everyone I have met here lives too far away from me to be of any help to me in person. I don't even have a local AS group to go to. There are no local services for me. The university I am at doesn't have much either, except counseling, but that is not what I need, I need local friends, and I would assume that is what you need as well. My suggestions, see the thread I have somewhere titled "Still lonely...." as there are many suggestions people have made there, but I am too afraid of making a mistake that pushes people away that I don't know what to do.

Against the law? Seriously? I've never heard of such a ridicuous thing.
Personally, I think suicide is a rather amiable option when there is nothing else worth living for. I plan on self-euthanizing before my 50th birthday. I simply don't see the point of living past that age anyway.

Edited for spelling errors.

Last edited by NocturnalQuilter on 11 Jan 2009, 8:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The sea is only beautiful if there's a shore. Life is like the sea. There'll be a direction to follow even if you sail more than one day or one life... the promise of a new land is your guide, because you know that the sea is a huge world that's beautiful only if there's a shore.

I think if i was to go, id miss the... memory of trees.

You are not alone. If you want to meet people maybe you could try volunteering in a charity shop. I was once unable to even speak to people, but since i have worked for charity and met different people there, I feel like I have a sense of purpose, an important role that will benefit the world. I also have new friends, and most importantly, free biscuits and a cup of tea.