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gina-ghettoprincess
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09 Jan 2009, 5:46 pm

Sometimes I still have to be reminded to say please and thank you, like a child. Is this normal for aspies?


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09 Jan 2009, 5:47 pm

seems like it, because I get reminded all the time


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09 Jan 2009, 5:47 pm

I don't know, but I use them to excess.


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gina-ghettoprincess
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09 Jan 2009, 5:56 pm

Most of the time I can understand why, but Mum thinks you should say, "What time is it, PLEASE?" instead of just "What time is it?" However, I think that is a question as opposed to a request, so please is unnecessary.


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09 Jan 2009, 6:08 pm

Greyhound wrote:
I don't know, but I use them to excess.


I do the same.

Store clerk: Anything else?
Me: A pack of smokes please.
Store clerk: Debit?
Me: Yes please.
Store clerk: Would you like a bag?
Me: Yes please.
Store clerk: Have a good day.
Me: Thank you. You too.



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09 Jan 2009, 6:10 pm

Please? Thank you? What's that? Just gimme the !@#$% cheeseburger already!

So, OK. It seems really strange, how I also fail to sometimes think about the etiquette things. One of the problems is with judging when the etiquette items might be interpreted as a sign of weakness or interpreted the opposite of their literal meaning. For example, saying the food is good while at a high-end restaurant. (Of course the food is good! Where you expecting otherwise?)

What about telling people that you really aren't trying to be pedantic or what you have to say isn't intended for interpersonal politics? That primes people to look for the exact opposite of what you intend, and they lean right into it. I am reluctant to give excess compliments etc. just because there are so many second and third meanings that are difficult to control for.


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Keith
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09 Jan 2009, 6:21 pm

My sister would insist that should I ask for something, then a "Thank you" is in order before that is handed to me. I go on the basis of it being done and gratifying the action immediately after.

It seems to me people don't use them anymore :(



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09 Jan 2009, 6:24 pm

Saying thanks when buying something seems completely pointless to me. Shouldn't the money be thanks enough?
Anyway, I think my usage of please and thanks is very uneven. So is my usage of things like "hello". I seem to say them both too often and not enough. Which I guess just means I tend to say them at the wrong times.
Come to think of it, my usage of "please" is very low, mostly because I have trouble asking for things at all. If I can't do it myself, I tend to just let it be, for some reason.


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09 Jan 2009, 6:29 pm

I was reminded in high school and now it's a lot less. I try to remember to say them.



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09 Jan 2009, 6:43 pm

When I was a kid and teen I used to have to get reminded all the time to say "please" or "thank you". I thought it was pretty pointless and that no one should care one way or the other (for the record I also wasn't a kid who addressed adults as "ma'am" or "sir"). Then around my late teens I changed and started using them often when I realized that doing so would probably make getting good service from people easier. Now I end up using both words reflexively and probably way too often (pretty much the way j0sh described). Sometimes I'll even get annoyed at myself when I think "why the hell did I just say "thanks" for someone taking my money?". But whatever, I live in the South so that sort of thing is almost the norm.



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09 Jan 2009, 8:27 pm

ThisUserNameIsTaken wrote:
When I was a kid and teen I used to have to get reminded all the time to say "please" or "thank you". I thought it was pretty pointless and that no one should care one way or the other (for the record I also wasn't a kid who addressed adults as "ma'am" or "sir"). Then around my late teens I changed and started using them often when I realized that doing so would probably make getting good service from people easier. Now I end up using both words reflexively and probably way too often (pretty much the way j0sh described). Sometimes I'll even get annoyed at myself when I think "why the hell did I just say "thanks" for someone taking my money?". But whatever, I live in the South so that sort of thing is almost the norm.


Same here. And since moving from the Northeast to the South, I find myself even thanking the bus driver, as I exit the bus. 8O


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gina-ghettoprincess
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09 Jan 2009, 8:31 pm

hartzofspace wrote:
ThisUserNameIsTaken wrote:
When I was a kid and teen I used to have to get reminded all the time to say "please" or "thank you". I thought it was pretty pointless and that no one should care one way or the other (for the record I also wasn't a kid who addressed adults as "ma'am" or "sir"). Then around my late teens I changed and started using them often when I realized that doing so would probably make getting good service from people easier. Now I end up using both words reflexively and probably way too often (pretty much the way j0sh described). Sometimes I'll even get annoyed at myself when I think "why the hell did I just say "thanks" for someone taking my money?". But whatever, I live in the South so that sort of thing is almost the norm.


Same here. And since moving from the Northeast to the South, I find myself even thanking the bus driver, as I exit the bus. 8O


Everyone thanks the bus driver here, only I don't because I'm quiet on the bus so I'd feel weird suddenly speaking, if you know what I mean.


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09 Jan 2009, 9:13 pm

Yes when I was a kid I was reminded about saying please and thankyou and got in trouble for being ungrateful. Even as an adult I have got in trouble for talking rude to people when I havn't noticed I have. I just think it is thier own problem if they have taken me the wrong way.



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09 Jan 2009, 9:24 pm

I also use "please" and "thank you" in excess. I think that's why I "flew under the radar" in school. I was polite and obeyed the rules so teachers didn't really notice my other behavior.



ThisUserNameIsTaken
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09 Jan 2009, 10:56 pm

hartzofspace wrote:
ThisUserNameIsTaken wrote:
When I was a kid and teen I used to have to get reminded all the time to say "please" or "thank you". I thought it was pretty pointless and that no one should care one way or the other (for the record I also wasn't a kid who addressed adults as "ma'am" or "sir"). Then around my late teens I changed and started using them often when I realized that doing so would probably make getting good service from people easier. Now I end up using both words reflexively and probably way too often (pretty much the way j0sh described). Sometimes I'll even get annoyed at myself when I think "why the hell did I just say "thanks" for someone taking my money?". But whatever, I live in the South so that sort of thing is almost the norm.


Same here. And since moving from the Northeast to the South, I find myself even thanking the bus driver, as I exit the bus. 8O

Haha, I also thank the bus drivers although I only do it because everyone (and I mean everyone) else does it at my college when they get off the campus shuttles. I've never seen anyone do that anywhere else before, but I do it just because I don't want to look rude (even though I feel stupid saying it...I mean, these drivers are on a route with required stops, it's not like they're going out of their way to do anything...plus they don't even run their routes very well to begin with).



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09 Jan 2009, 11:06 pm

I tend to use it too much... my son is not even 5 and he has been programmed with using it too, definitely more than any other kid his age!