How did you feel when you found out you had AS?

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I had felt like something had changed.

My life does not feel the same.

It's like I was set free. I also feel more alone but I know I have you guys.

I no longer feel the need to try and fit in like I use too. I can just be me!! ! I am still going to try.

I also feel angry and cheated. I have always felt different.

I am glad I know why. It has also helped me move on more. I also have a small form of depression. I have a hard time being a friend.

Except for a cople of friends because I really love them. I don't think I have ever truly loved any of my other friends. I like em.
I wouldn't be that upset if they left.
I don't really care much for meeting new people. I try still.

I just don't know what to do... I still care.

It may be that I have had a major change in my life and just need time for it to set in. My whole rountine has changed.

about the same. A year or so ago I looked at the Ed article on Aspergers, was pissed at the as*holes who made it, and was interested. Didn't put much thought into whether it was applicable to me or not, didn't really pay attention.

then when I was diagnoses by a psychologist during counseling for issues with my mom, I got the diagnosis (also interesting given one of the things that in hindsight was a sympton was I wanted to leave a banquet due to all the s**t she was saying, do this, do that and go to the bathroom/etc..hm,.

I have only really known AS existed since March.

I am not offically diagnosed but I am pretty convinced I have it. Everything fits.

I found out about it in early May and I think I have nearly come to terms with it after 3 months. Some of my behaviour since then is still dodgy, because I keep blaming being autistic for things where I should really know better or control myself more as that is easier option. But I am stopping lashing out at people since finding out

It was just so wonderful to know that you have felt your whole life you were different, and now there is justification for it; I wasn't crazy, I wasn't some horrible person because I don't understand other people all the time. And that there are other people out there the same as me, despite I have never met anyone in RL with this, and that some of these people are much more experienced than me and so willing to share how to get through life. I have read so many helpful things, everything starts to make sense.

The only frustrating thing was why it took nearly 19 years for me to know, why had no one through school etc seemed to notice. It was even more frustrating consequently learning I was diagnosed with being on this spectrum at 4 and everyone kept it from me. Because now I can begin to understand things and go back and live my skipped teenage years.

Like the whole world opened up and everything suddenly made sense.

I felt validated and glad to finally know why I was so different.

Sometime later I felt horrified to have a non-curable and lifelong "disease" that I thought would keep me from having a normal and happy life.

Now I'm ok with it. Sometimes I wish I didn't have AS but other times I find myself glad I'm not like everyone else.

Devastated. Like my entire world had just come crashing down on me. It felt like my entire body just turned to stone and my gut felt like it was being turned upside down. I could hardly breathe and my head and hands were just hot and throbbing. Worst feeling I've ever had.

Lol jk. I didn't really feel that different at all.

When I realized such a thing like AS exists for the first time, I didn't believe I could have it even if I liked toying with this idea - I saw so many similarities - but in that time I thought myself to have only a personality disorder. But on the other hand, when you have a personality disorder, it's only, as the name itself says, your personality that is out of the norm but how to explain also those physical symptoms like dyspraxia, ability to read at the age of 2,5, eating disorder, various tics and others?

I never identified them with any disorder before though, nor did I ever hit upon an idea to think all of them could have something in common with each other and have their common reason. After all, I thought, there are so many types of people in the world - eccentrics, individualists, weirdos.

It was a strange feeling to find out I might be a member of a minority group I had never heard of before I was in my late teens. A very unique minority indeed - if I were black or a Jew or if I was born in a family of immigrants, I'd live in a Jewish community or in a community of Blacks or in some Chinatown or Little Italy where, though still belonging to some minority, I wouldn't be persecuted because I would be living among such people like me. Or at least I'd maintain contacts with other representatives of a group I'd belong to or if even this turned out to be impossible for this or that reason because my family would be for example the only black family in the whole town, I'd at least have my family so I wouldn't be the only one.

If I belonged to a minority because I'd be a lesbian or a person professing some niche religion or somebody with a disability or simply suffering from a disease altering my looks or forcing me to live another life than healthy people, I'd realize in such a situation why I was always different and others would be aware of this as well because everybody knows there are such women like lesbians or that some people have health problems, anyway then even if I couldn't find members of groups mentioned by me in my town, I'd at least know what and where I should look for on the net.

I felt a big sense of relief when I initially discovered what AS was and how the characteristics fit me to a tee. My life up to that point finally made sense to me; why I was content to be by myself; my peculiar habits, my monotone voice and why I viewed friends as nice but not really necessary. I have had to deal with my feelings of anger against family members and others who belittled me and made me feel like a piece of **** because I happened to be different.

I was only diagnosed about 2 years ago. The first several months I spent in denial. My stereotypical opinion of all autistics was that they sit in the corners making funny noises and aren't very smart. I couldn't accept that this is what I am. Finally, I came to realize that not all autistics are LFA and finally, that I was on the autistic spectrum with aspergers. A good part of the acceptance was that I met an LFA female that acted like she was HFA. This was due to the intensive training that she has had growing up. As strange as it sounds, it was this high functioning LFA female that set me straight.

Now that I've accepted it, its like one of life's greatest mysteries has been revealed and I know that I am different and why I am different.

Aye, I felt great relief when i found out about AS; my uncle was schizophrenic, so I always worried I'd be like him.
What pissed me off then was when I tried to talk to people about it, or just ask my personal tutor at uni where I might find out more, and people tried to convince me that I was just being stupid (and, in essence, telling me I am just a horrible person that doesn't care how other people feel).

I've always been a bit irritated with my parents for not finding out about this, but you can't blame people for being ignorant. I can't imagine what it feels like to find out that they've known for years and didn't bother to tell you.

I haven't been diagnosed yet, although I am going through the process.

The first time I heard about it was from a friend at work (he has been diagnosed with Aspergers); he said I might have it, I didn't believe him. Every now and then we would get into deep chats about how difficult we find certain things; where he would tell me how aspergic I was! So I started researching myself, not one to take other people's advice straight off. I started thinking, maybe I've just got traces of it, I wouldn't let myself be aspergic, i couldn't be? The more I read, the more and more it all seemed to make sense...

After a while I went and saw a counsellor, and even with all my efforts he couldn't help me with anything! He didn't understand that I was in the stages for questioning that I might have it, and I needed help with that; he focused on things that weren't problems at all. After some more time, I decided to ask a Dr, so booked an appointment, and he told me not to bother... what he said to me, basically went along the lines of:
1. I should have been diagnosed as a child (how is that even relevant or my fault?!)
2. it's not easy to see and be diagnosed, it takes a long time
3. there's no cure for it anyway, so what's the point in finding out
4. "you just want another label" (mentioned that I also have dyslexia)

This last point made me so upset I was unable to say anything else to him, rushed home and cried for 3 hours.


After a few more months of contemplating I finally got the courage to go and book another doctors appointment, this time with a different, female Dr.

I was so nervous I spent the first few minutes crying. Luckily, I had a prop to help me along. I found an online Aspie quiz, and decided to try it out, see how things came out. Now I don't trust them at all, but it came out with a very strong suggestion that I have aspergers so I took it along. I explained everything, and she had a quick look through the quiz, she was more interested in it than I thought she would be. She then referred me onto the hospital, and I am now waiting for an appointment from them.


It has been a rough year for me, and I'm hoping the appointment won't take as long as my Aspie friend has suggested (9 Months)!


I can't see how it could be anything else apart from Aspergers, and even though I know I've got it, and it's taken a long time for me to feel ok in myself again; I know it's going to hit me harder when I get those results through.

Whilst I wait for the results, it is also fustrating that because I haven't been diagnosed people never believe you have it. Whilst I try and be open with everyone around me I find myself lying to certain people just to make it easier... which I hate, it just makes the stress worse for me... but it's still better than having to explain myself all the time.

It's sort of complicated with me because I was diagnosed with autistic features at age three and I have no recollection of this. I once found a lot of notes my mother had taken on me when I was six and I confronted her about it, and she told me that when I was younger people thought there was something wrong with me called "autism" but they were proved wrong. Of course though I went through the rest of elementary school in Canada without requiring any support I was still a bit of an oddball and people often didn't really know what to do with me.

By around the mid-90s it seemed that the notion of "Asperger's syndrome" had become more popular and when I was about nine years old my mother told me about my diagnosis and what she thought it really meant. I seemed perfectly content with the notion that something made me different and AS seemed to be a good fit.

"wtf is that?" #2hours later after hardcore googling# "oh rigth,well that makes sence"

'I would have preferred Schizophrenia.' was my first thought. Then I kinda became annoyed in that I'm probably always going to be this way, I mean, this level of functioning, and that many of life's choices were taken away from me due to this disorder (i.e., things I want to do). But hey, not everyone gets lucky.

"Infantile Autism" here (not all of us were diagnosed on time), but that's close enough to AS.