Feeling of detachment

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I'm just wondering whether anybody else with Aspergers has this? I know I've had Aspie traits from as far back as I can remember, but when I was in my early teens I had 'flu. As I was getting over it, I started to feel somehow divorced from reality, and I've been like it ever since (I'm 45). I can see and hear what's going on around me; I can interact with the world; but it's as though I'm doing it all from behind a thick screen. It's almost as though the real me is in the control room of a robot that's doing all the interacting for me - that's the best description I can come up with.

I saw a doctor about it once, who gave me some tablets (I have no idea what they were) which did nothing, and I did get referred to a psychologist once, who eventually informed me that I "might just have to learn to live with it". Which I have...

It's not really much of a problem - I'm barely aware of it unless I think about it - but I'd be very interested to know whether anybody else out there experiences this?

I have similiar, it's a form of "depersonalization", I was told that it isn't uncommon with anxiety "disorders" and such. It feels like I'm on the outside looking in and analyzing everything to the most minute details and all of things going on around me but it's like I can never actually fully interact with myself and others.

Yeah, I feel the same way much of the time. It's weird to be inside the world but outside of it at the same time, so I get that outside-looking-in effect, but an inside-looking-out one at the same time. It is tough to describe; you're right.

that sounds like the effect alcohol has on me.

Thank you. This is the first time I've described it (or attempted to - you're right, nicklegends, it is immensely difficult - ) and had people understand exactly what I mean.

Mish, I understand completely about never fully interacting with yourself or others. However much I want to be involved in something, however much I love my husband - there's always that few percent I can't give, because part of me is inside looking out. It does seem to get worse when I've had a bit to drink, too - pbcoll could be onto something there!

Yep, and me, I allways discribe it as feeling Iam watching a television programme about life rather than actually being there,
I think this explains the Aspie trait of starting at people,
I stare at people because I dont think they know Iam there and so dont see me staring at them, which is quite rude apparently?

Precisely - and you stated it well too. Hard to describe, but REAL and very hard for me.

For me, I am 'foreign' in that I am seemingly looking through an impenetrable one-way mirror; I can see out, but neurotypicals cannot see inside. I can, and do, communicate. But I must translate since I assimilate differently. I can know something clearly in my mind and have no means of expression whatsoever. I am honest and naive (but not gullible, necessarily). I am without deception - not even a concept for me. Sort of a social kindergartener. I don't do anything wrong or bad, just innocent. I am very conscientious and try hard. I cannot 'read' emotions in others and conversing can be awkward as a result. I am often described as 'very sweet' but....so what? I am brainy (just speaking objectively) and this is my strength. I do feel but my emotions are rudimentary.

Mish - You are a good mother and therefore have a perspective I do not. I did not know what Deefor4 stated, and perhaps what I wrote, is called 'depersonalization.' I just thought it was a manifestation of my autism. What is depersonalization? I thought this meant being detached. There is a subtle yet vital distinction between what I feel (see above) and (perhaps?) depersonlizaton - just guessing here. Because I FEEL in this way acutely (I have tears about this matter); rather then feeling nothing or not caring. Mish, does that (sort of) make sense?

So, Deefor4, you are not alone in feeling alone - if that made sense! Mish, how do your 2 sons compensate for this, if I may ask? It is hard.......

http://youtube.com/watch?v=NJEOaBLN1M0& ... ed&search=

Please watch this video clip - it's very touching. For everyone here that has posted, you'll understand intimately! I even have this bookmarked for my reference.

Sigh....I think I'm having an autistic moment.
Tears

occasionally i get the detachment feeling/ sucks

Yep..I definitely have the feeling of detachment....but not 100% all of the time...I don't feel it when I am alone. I am less prone to feeling it when I am in my comfort zone...but get me out of my comfort zone and it can be overwhealming.
Maybe I have experienced it for so long that I am just very used to it.

I get the depersonalization feeling too. In fact, I'm really glad to hear that people with AS experience it, because some things I read online made me think that only schizotypal or borderline PD sufferers felt this way. It happens to me when I'm really stressed - trying to write an essay, in a small group situation with peers, in a meltdown like state, etc.

I get this, albeit rarely. A few times a day, maybe, and only for short periods, and then some other times for more extended periods. It seems to happen far more often when I'm tired. Interestingly, this seems to be how I dream. It's always impersonal and detatched, even more so in dreams sometimes when often it seems like I'm dreaming in the 3rd person, watching myself.

Edit I get the alcohol thing, but oddly the sense of detatchment helps me interact, or at least I feel like I interact better. My wife claims I get worse, that may be the case, or I may just talk more because I'm feeling a bit more comfortable, so there's more opportunity for me to say something inappropriate.