The Aspie and the Bipolar Girl (relationship topic)

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My girlfriend got diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder late last year. I myself got diagnosed with HFA when I was 3. Aren't we the perfect pair for a sitcom?

Seriously though, having one in a relationship is bad enough, but now we've got the other. And it seems at this point our disorders are bouncing off one another and taking out chunks of the wall. She's getting mad at me because I tend to live in my own world, and I'm getting mad at her because I can't handle her manic episodes.

Is any other Aspie on this board in a similar situation? Could you give us some advice? We both love each other very much and want to work on our problems rather than just call it quits.

My BF and I BOTH have AS and are bipolar. Luckily, our bipolar is managed just fine on our meds. We run into situations over our AS though. We're having to learn when to be together and when to give each other space. Our relationship works well, most of the time.

My ex is bipolar and there were many times my aspergers and her bipolar disorder seemed to conflict. The best thing you can do is learn as much as you can about bipolar disorder and convince your mate to learn about aspergers. That will help the both of you understand better. Eventually you will both know each other in a new way and knowing is half the battle.

I personally had at least one friend who was bipolar, and I have HFA as well. I also knew at least one or two other bipolar individuals (one was my dance instructor who is definitely bipolar, the other was a girl I knew two years ago who had nervous breakdowns, extreme mood swings and suicidal behavior ).
I no longer really tal to any of these people at this time. My dance instructor got another job years ago, the girl who was suicidal moved away and the other girl joined a job core program after leaving hi school out of my area.
I was friends with the two girls for about a year each. Their are many advantages and disadvantages that I am sure you recognize from your two conditions combining; You get someone who can be more understanding when you have a problem/trust me, its better to talk about your issues and be able to have someone to rely on if you have a problem
NT's I have known (not all but many) are not very good at dealing with the pressures of a manic episode, panic attack, blankness, etc. You have been given a marvelous opportunity to learn from each other and form a safe relationship where you have someone you can trust and rely on.
NT's can be sitting ducks and cause more problems in an emergency They may even find it to be funny !
As long as you two discuss and fully outline your issues to each other you should be fine .
I realize dealing with manic episodes can be very frightening! I have seen at least two episodes in the past few years. (I have also seen a seizure as well.) I am no expert in this area though.
You two really are going to need to learn about each others conditions and talk about your needs. But I believe if you work out it you could have a wonderful relationship together !

"I'm a Gummi bear..."
("You lips are venomous poison"-I can't touch people/problem I have/personal note, please no pity, but advise is OK)
Emo is beautiful!
Randomness is awesome!
Fungi are being introduced worldwide and killing off frog species worldwide from an African claw frog that was brought to other continents to make pregnancy tests!
Hatshepsut was married to her half brother, had a daughter, was Queen Regent, and was King/Pharoh for 21 years. (I read National Geographic)
Nerds rule the world!
"Things are not always as they seem"
Realism, the Aquarian ideas of thinking for yourself, and Philosophy are needed before peace may be found for all. (I have read and seen to many Da Vinci Code related things)
Go homosexuals and non-NT's!
Love/friendship is a powerful thing (Never romantically felt love though)
Total acceptance of all is necessary to achieve ultimate dreams, peace, etc.
"If you believe"...
Than Hope may blossom on still...

p.s. I hope I helped you and did not scare you . (If my profile thing says my last name and/or age they are wrong most likely at the moment. I have not been on in months/computer viruses suck! Got a new computer now! Yah!)
Am I an annoying philosopher or just really weird ?

Than Hope may blossom still...

Nerf yourselves with tranquilizer's and have plenty of "us" time rather than long conversations that take thought.

One of my best friends is bi-polar.

My suggestions in summary since this was getting too long...

Be honest with her, and brutally honest if she can handle it

Don't make a big deal about her taking her meds if she doesn't like them (the side effects are worse sometimes than the bipolar itself)

Pay attention to her highs and lows. 20 to 1 says you can easily tell by the way she dresses. She's probably wears sexy things during her highs, ugly, baggy things during her lows, and then normal in between.

You and her should discuss how to handle her spending in her highs. Bipolar can cause some pretty impulsive spending habits in that high, so if she's one of the many who experience that, you guys need to plan for it. Maybe even save for it and allow her a limit on her spending, or try to work on avoiding places to spend money in that period, or something.

During her lows when she has a breakdown, really listen to her. Don't give crappy advice like leaving it as "everything is going to be okay." Also, during those breakdowns, keep reminding her of all her great qualities and how she is strong enough to pull herself out of those moments and take charge of her life. Take everything during those moments very seriously. Don't assume she's a blubbering idiot. Unlike people who don't have bipolar, she goes through moments where she finds out what has been bothering her without her ability to identify it earlier. On top of it, guilt for her own actions do play a major role, so don't be bringing up the past like you didn't forgive her over something. If you feel like you need to talk to her about something that might make things worse, wait until after she comes out of that low. Timing is everything.

Don't take everything she says personally. If she says, "Your just stupid," that bipolar phrase translates into Aspie as "She just feels (not thinks) like you did something stupid but that doesn't make you stupid or your actions, it just means she is not in total agreement with it." which would actually translate to NT "I totally agree."

Both of you need to understand relationships are a two way street. Irregardless of your disorders, relationships require (for purposes of success) both SACRIFICE and FORGIVENESS. You guys both should be making sacrifices for each other. You want her to understand and respect the notion that you may take things personal like insults, and she wants you to understand and respect that she really needs your support during a breakdown. It really is give and take since it wouldn't be fair for one to make all the sacrifices for the other's gain. But, because people are not perfect, sometimes promises are broken and one does sacrifice more than the other. So now we introduce the concept of forgiveness. I know many people (my bipolar friend for one) who often forgets long before forgiving. It's one of the reasons she hates her soon to be ex husband so much right now. Either way, if the partner does something wrong, you have two options. Forgive or end relationship. Anything in between will only serve as a stepping stone to end the relationship. So everytime you argue, both of you need to decide which is more important, the argument topic (most likely the principle of it) or the relationship. If you got kids at all, the relationship has a direct influence on the kids, which just ups the importance of maintaining a healthy relationship. Metaphorically, some guys joins the military. War starts. He totally disagrees with the war. He's called overseas to fight in this war he disagrees with. Does he not shoot and allow himself to die over the principle? I say this because I see many relationships that end that way. This is a concept that I think I understand far better than my bipolar friend. So hopefully, it's not the bipolar interfering with her logic on it.