Is this rude?

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I walk out one morning and say, "Good morning" to our neighbor who has her back to me doing some gardening. She says, "hello", without turning her around to face me. Is she sending me a message?

If it was me, I would have turned around for half a second, made eye contact, and said hello.

Should I be offended?

No, I don't think there's anything rude about that. Your neighbour was probably just too busy to turn around at that moment.

I agree. I think she was just busy. She shouldn't have to drop what she is doing just because someone says "hello" to her.

Sounds like she was busy to me.

Our neighbors are the complete opposite. They'll walk over to you and start a half-hour conversation. Then all the other neighbors in the courtyard will join and soon enough, there'll be a party. I'm not kidding. But no one's done this lately because it's been too cold out.

No. She was probably busy.

Anyone find it ironic?

We don't give eye contact and people feel offended by it and then the neighbor does it to him and he didn't really like it.

How long does it take to turn and make eye contact? She wasn't building a spaceship.

I would have turned around. Taks 1 second.

Maybe she's an aspie too?

WHO KNOWS! It COULD take HOURS! There HAVE been times where, if I so much as MOVED, it would have destroyed hours of work. Looking at someone isn't simply looking at someone. Of course, MANY don't seem to realize that.

No, she was gardening. She was interacting with another form of life.

Think of it this way, had she been spending time with human children and had failed to make eye contact, would you have felt less offended? Maybe those plants are like children to her (mine are to me, they definately require the same amount of care at times).

Yes, you would have turned around, but you aren't her. I wouldn't have turned around and would not have understood why you were offended that I hadn't.

I understand what Kevin is saying. It doesn't take more than a second to look at someone and then look away. Just do a quick glance at them and you're done. I do that a lot. I see their bodies.

I don't think it's that important to look at someone when they say "hi" to you unless you want to know who said "hi" because you didn't recognize the voice so it's going to force you to look up and at them and then away. I call it quick eye contact because you don't keep your eyes glued to them. You see them and turn away. It's called glancing.

I wouldn't be offended if someone didn't look at me if I said "hi" and that person said "hi" back to me without even looking up. If he or she didn't answer I would think they didn't hear me so I have to be louder or get their attention somehow.

She was probably concentrating on something. I wouldn't worry. Unless you see her running into her house when she spots you walking up the road towards home!

I don't think it's rude. Sometimes when I'm busy doing something and someone's trying to have small talk with me I have to just be really honest and tell them that I'm not good at multi-tasking. I don't mind being talked to but I can't process my responses quickly because I just can't concentrate that hard on two different things. Maybe I forget to turn around and look at the person but it's not being rude. If I don't give eye contact or sound too terse in my response it's simply because I'm not good at doing two things at once.

I would not read too much into it.

no she's gardening
isnt it obvious why she didnt turn around i dont get why you cant see that

Maybe he expected her to stop for a sec just to glance at him. I see he indeed lacks TOM. He thinks everyone should be like him and think whatever he can do, others should do it too and doesn't understand why they choose not to. Definitely a way to tell he is indeed on the spectrum.