"You can choose your friends, but not your family"

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Everyone has heard this proverb (is that the right word?)

This statement implies that you should stick by your family no matter who they are or what the circumstances.

My family is full of loons and dysfunctional people and I am extremely uncomfortable whenever I am around them. I would be better off being estranged from them.

Yet, their is this social rule that you should always love and stick by your family no matter what. I never understood this. Why should I have these people in my life when I dislike them and want nothing to do with them?

I do think there should be some sort of tolerance of a family member's abnormal behavior. But at some point, it becomes too much to take.

I love my sister. Look what she emailed me;

Look what my sister sent me isn't it Beautiful

The lady reading this
is beautiful, classy, intelligent, articulate and
strong, and I love her.
Help her live her life to the fullest.
Please promote her and cause her to excel above her expectations.
Help her shine in the darkest places where it is impossible to love.
Protect her at all times, lift her up when she needs you the most,
and
let her know when she walks with you,
She will always be safe.
Love you Girl!! !!

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life."-- Richard Bach

I agree with you, KevinLA, I do not get on with most of my family, and I don't see why I should put up with them because of biology.

I will never understand what it is like to be close to your family. When we went on a school trip for a week, some girls in our dorm were crying after being parted from their parents for just THREE HOURS. Are they just really dependant, or are they "normal"?

on the other hand it could be "you choose your friends; your family you're stuck with"...

this is definitally the right time to say...
Your Mum (its kinda related )

Some family relationships are toxic. Some people treat their dogs better than they treat their kids. In those cases, it is healthier to break those family ties than to stay with them just because there is a blood relationship there.

I interpret that quote in a different way. To me it means that you aren't expected to like your family. You didn't choose to be born into it, so you shouldn't feel obliged to have any affection, or even to fake it. Society expects you to like your family, of course, but it seems that most people feel out of place in their family. The quote is more descriptive of the condition than prescriptive of your attitude or behavior. You can try to deal with them if you want, or you can escape. I've always wanted to do the latter, but I've never quite got to the point of leaving. I almost did until I was convinced to go back to school and needed to stick around.

As soon as I graduate (again) I'm going far away to some place where I will never have to see my parents again.

To me, this is just another artificial construct of our enigmatic culture that we are expected to accept, regardless of what our independent thought provides us with. I don't understand how remaining around anyone, regardless of DNA relations, that is apparently toxic to the relationship, is beneficial to anyone involved. Instead, we struggle to maintain the pseudo connectivity to this individual(s) to keep up appearances in the public eye. Meanwhile, drama ensues as a result of one trying to please the other in a circus-like fashion, with the only conclusion being psychological damage to all parties involved. I think you should surround yourself only with the people you have a distinct connection with, but also respect everyone, regardless of how you interact with them. I have an incredible relationship with my immediate family, but I rarely associate with my indirect relatives. Does this mean I don't like them? Of course not! But, I do not feel any reason to associate with them, since I have no direct reason to socialize with them at all. If they needed my help for any reason, would I happily oblige? Absolutely!

I love my family so much especially when my mom calls me a b***h or my family yells at me or calls me rude I feel so good inside!! !! !