Aspergers and looking after yourself

Post Reply New Topic

I am very frustrated and upset about this right now, and my parents are obviously convinced it is because I have Aspergers, but I personally cannot see a connection between Aspergers traits and the problem I have.

Does having Aspergers cause you to be unable to care for yourself (such as unable to fully organize your affairs properly, sort out your life, achieve everything you need for independent living)?

I seem to get stuck and never manage to properly sort out my paperwork and financial affairs, like it's all impossibly hard (although I know for a fact it's not, as everyone else seems able to do it).

What I don't understand is how Asperger's can tie into this; into having problems supporting yourself like these, and generally looking after yourself.

I think is related to AS. I've never been able to take care of myself properly, especially outside my own home.

Yep.

See, executive dysfunction, a lack of drive [without depression], and the obsessive thoughts one has over their set topic of interest that takes up all of the mental faculties one has.

People say the social problems in high school suck; well, for some, the problems of "independence" are far harder.

With luck, you might just be a little behind your peers in regards to this, and you may develop ways to circumvent the executive dysfunction or said dysfunction may naturally improve, or you may find a place that fits your interest if that's what keeps you "behind".

I have problems with this, and it is definitely the AS. I don't understand what I have to do with this thing I have to do, so I will ask about it sometimes, other times I will avoid it. I asked about a form I had to fill out from a person who would know how to fill it out at my university, she answered with a "this is how you do this, but why the f*** are you asking me, it should be obvious..." I really wanted to mention AS, but knew it didn't matter in the least right then, so I didn't... If people would just understand that not everyone fits into the same cookie cutter mold for what people think we should be like it wouldn't be that bad for me moast days.

Yes, as Danielismyname says above it's caused by executive dysfunction, which is a common deficit in autistic/Aspie people.

I personally don't think I have any problems with this.

EDIT: Actually, does hating public transport count? Although, I could learn how to do it, I just don't want to, I absolutely hate it.

Last edited by DeLoreanDude on 17 Feb 2009, 9:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

i have this problem.i cannot do things right that are required for independent living.i know major parts of a work yet not able to complete everyday task either cause i have no drive to do work,or even if i try i cannot because i get hindered by small problems i face.
like once i had to deposit money in bankt.i stood on the line for an hour hour.when my turn came i was told i have to deposit the money in same form with nine others.but i could not manage to convince people to use the the same form as me.i requested the cashier to take money as deposit as single person per form.but he did not listen to me.then a friend came and handed the form to cashier and without a word he did the work.even though i was standing on the line for an hour i could not do the task just because i lack negotiating skill.
this is how everyday task is hard for me,specially that require other people's assistence as i have less people skill.
so yes i think asperger causes one to be unable to do everyday task hence makes living independently quite hard.

Yes, I'm horrible at filling out paperwork, calling people about things, and dealing with finances. My mom either has to do these things for me or has to help me with them, step by step. I also never have learned how to drive, so that inhibits me in a lot of independent living areas of life. Like, I could never go shopping at a supermarket by myself.
-OddDuckNash99-

i agree that it may be related to "executive dysfunction" but i am not sure.

i am completely disorganized and ramshackle in my affairs.
i have no one to tell me what to do and when to do it, so i have to cope by myself.

i have excellent executive functioning when it comes to coding programs. i can see all the possible pitfalls and mistakes operators could make etc, and i program error trapping routines for those eventualities.

but in my own life, i am hopelessly out of touch with things i must be in touch with to not get into trouble.

like my tax payments are probably wrong. i have no idea what i make in a year because it is spread around so many things, and i fail to record it anywhere that i can rely on my memory to find.

so i guess what i earned, and pay my taxes based on that guess work. i will get into trouble soon i am sure.
i should learn the exact rules but i can not pay attention to what i am not interested in for long.
maybe i should get an accountant, but i am too absorbed with my other real interests to bother wasting time trying to find one and hire him etc.

i think maybe some people with AS have special energy that is devoted only to what interests them, and find it hard to break away from that to pay much attention to the mundane world of civic necessity.

that is how i am.
i tried to learn all the conditions applicable to my tax payments, but i can not know whether i am a "sole trader" or an "enterprise" or a "service provider" or a "goods provider". i am a little bit of everything in different ways to all my clients.
it is so disinteresting to me that i assess that it is not infinitely important, and i disengage from it and i think rudimentarily about what i like to think about.
the world will catch me up and kick my backside one day, but i can not apply my mind to things i am not interested in.

If you code on contract work for different people, then that would make you a service provider. Enterprise? Definitly not. I don't think you opperate a large scale business with many employees. Don't take my word on that though, and get an accountant, it will save you loads of workd and mental energy.

some of my employers share my services and they cross pollinate each other with my code. it is an industrious synergism they have.
that is like the definition of "enterprise"

i also provide "goods" which are completed software suites that clients will use and never consult me again about.

it is just a "buggers muddle" to work out the identity of all my income.



i will get around to it. thanks for your advice.

Daniel expressed this very well.

There are acually some aspies with full time jobs and who live independently. However, I've always had difficulty working full time and living independently, although I've tried it all my life and I'm 40. It seems like each time I fell flat on my face and had to get family financial support and community support for help with organization, etc.

We're immature for our age, out ability to plan and organize is compromised, our social skills are not great so finding a support network is tough.. all adds up to.. if we want to live independently, it's good to have a DD caseworker and possibly a payee (financial manager.)

In my first AS support group, only one person worked full time and lived completely independently. I'm in a new group now and I haven't figured out yet who fits in that category.

I've been living alone for about 22 years & executive dysfunction is definitely an issue - but it is something that can be overcome.

I suppose the area where I experience it most is getting to bed at night. I tend to sit at the computer & nod off for hours (sometimes 1-2 a.m., when I have to get up at 5:30) before I force myself to get out of my chair & go to bed to sleep. It's not that I'm really doing anything - I just can't seem to make myself get up. But once I'm up, I have no problem brushing my teeth & getting ready for bed. (And once I'm in bed, I always fall asleep in a matter of minutes - so it definitely isn't insomnia.)

But knowing that it is an issue, I can put myself on a schedule - so I fight my tendency & get to bed at a reasonable hour.

I've noticed the issue with filling out forms - but luckily, that isn't something I have to do on a regular basis (just if I go to a new doctor, or something.) I usually plan a little extra time, if I know there are going to be forms involved.

You CAN live independently - even though you may make some mistakes & have some difficulties at first. But NTs make mistakes & have difficulties, too, the first time they try to live by themselves. The question is, will you learn from your mistakes & overcome the difficulties? (From my experience, the answer is "yes.")

I used to suck at self-care but now I have mastered it because it was what I wanted because my favorite movie character is self-sufficient, self-reliant and independent of everyone. I'm kinda taking this whole thing too far but I don't feel suicidal anymore when people treat me like I'm a child. Instead, everything I say to anyone now are words from etiquette books. I'm all like a hitman and they are getting freaked out by my lack of being affected by what happens around me. I have also forced myself not to experience fear and sensory overload. If I don't feel fear in a game, why shouldn't I make life similar?

Yep it must be related, I keep trying to be independant but something always messes up, I'm just too disorganized I always need to be reminded of things.
I do hope I don't have to wait too long to leave home

I have bought a calender with a planner and I make lists. Lots of lists and plan everything. I find writing everything down helps a lot. Making a good routine as well and sticking to it does wonders.