Holding Cutlery

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Have any of you ever been told that you hold your cutlery weirdly?
I have and the way I have been told to change to is too uncomfortable.

I've never been told that. How do you do it?

my son who is almost 10, holds his utensils in a closed fist. i've never told him it was weird, though, because i know it's easier for him to hold it that way.

My parents used to call me "Fisticuffs" when I did that. Same thing with holding a toothbrush. Still do it to this day. My husband doesn't hold cutlery weirdly as such but he only ever uses one hand (the other arm hangs limp at his side) consequently he never uses a knife, only a fork.

Venus

I held utensils, and pens/pencils/markers, in a closed fist as a little kid. My family urged me to change this, and although it was hard at first (my drawing sucked when I held a pen the right way), I made the transition quickly and haven't looked back.

my son does that when he writes. he will hold the pencil, but won't use his other hand to stabilize the paper...so it slides all over the place. he will only hold the paper if i remind him to.

I think I hold my knife and fork in a closed fist.

Yep I've been told this constantly by my mom. I managed to improve some things.. but not all. It's just uncomfortable!! I don't understand why there should be a 'correct' way to hold utensils. As long as it works... right?

As long as you don't cut your fingers off, it shouldn't matter.

That's how I hold mine.

When the food is the right type for it, I much prefer to eat using my fingers. Using cutlery has often felt very unnatural.

I've been told that when I eat with a knife and fork I hold them like I'm right handed (I'm left handed really) which makes no sense to me because I keep my fork in my left hand like always.

I did some research and found that this is actually related to dyspraxia.

I know I USED to. I ALSO eat like a traditional American. That would look odd to a european.

Is your husband American? The one-handed way is how I was taught as a kid (in the US). I didn't learn to properly hold a knife and fork until my British husband showed me. It wasn't hard, but no one had showed me that before.

I think over time I was corrected enough times to now use knife and fork correctly.
I still don't do spoons right (when moving the food from plate to mouth) but that has improved significantly as well.
I think its to do with my mum trying to help me. I remember even when my grip was set up right I still had trouble using them

Other eating utensil would be chopsticks. First used them when I was 15 for 5 weeks overseas in an Asian country, now if Im eating at my bf's place they come out too. Had many people try and teach me how to use them properly and I can't do it, no matter how hard I concentrate. How am I meant to keep one of them still?!?

So I'm glad people taught me knife/fork/spoon early

I hold my knife in my right hand and my fork in my left, and I don't have the coordination to switch, nor to hold it any other way except closed fist. Cutlery is difficult for aspies because of tendencies towards hand-eye coordination problems and dyspraxia. I do use a spoon in my right hand though. The knife-fork combination has always been extremely difficult for me. Also, I don't have the strength in either hand to properly cut cheese, like regular cheddar cheese. I have to hold the knife in my right hand and press down on the other end of the knife with my left thumb. I can't type either, I managed to satisfy the typing requirement at my colleges but I usually do index fingers.

NTs seem to think that excellent hand-eye coordination is a mark of a refined person, and that those who lack it are neanderthals. It drove my father nuts, he's very into social graces. Even in the Middle Ages when Europeans rarely used utensils, the methods of holding and handling food were an important demarcation between lord and peasant. A lord only used his thumb and first two fingers to hold meat, while a commoner pawed it with all five fingers.

Historical ex course: This was depended on the country and the time. The fork was in Italy and Germany quite early common. To my knowledge this can be traced back to Empress Theophanu, how ruled in 10th century in behave of her minor son, Otto III. She was a Byzantine princess and introduced the fork in Germany and Italy, so fork was in 14th century even common with wealthy citizen, in same cases the ownership of one fork was the sign of being a member of the class of master craft men (in Cologne the guilts where even called "Gaffeln", the medieval German word for fork, because the members had a fork for their ceremonial dinners). In England they used instead the knife like a fork and eat everything else with the spoon or the fingers. You hardly find any forks in England prior the 17th century and they where a long time regarded a highly decadent. I had to look up for the source, but I think I remember that Elizabeth I had 12 forks and they were a present of Venetian Ambassador (and never were used, but melted down).

But you are right: The way to hold the knife or to a fork was a clear marker for the social status. Even a peasant would use a knife like Queen Elizabeth I, the way he would used his knife or spoon would be a clear indicator for his social standing. In the Decamerone of Giovanni Boccaccio (ca. 1350) you find even a story in which a lady assesses a man by his manners at table to see that his story of being a wealthy merchant and robbed is really true, because an imposter would not know the rules at table that well (2nd Day, story 2).

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Back to today's world:
Perhaps we like it or not: Table manners are still an assessment of the social class a person belongs to (besides languages and other issues). It is really of any harm to be assessed by other of higher social standing you are actual. This whole game of different knifes forks, when to use a fish knife and how eat a fish if not fish knife is provided, etc. is still of some importance. Even it for a lot of us difficult to maintain the fine coordination and to memorize the often illogical rules I would anyone recommend to learn those. Holding a wine glass in the wrong way or placing the butter knife on the wrong place can have consequences for the whole rest of your life. Therefore the "table dog training" some parent do with their children makes a lot of sense.

I know, it is pure madness, but it's the game.