Aspies and the African American community

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Something I've noticed. The African American community is probably the worst place an Aspie can be in. The African-American culture is highly non verbal, highly conformist, and there tends to be a huge streak of anti-intellectualism that goes on in this culture. Ok, let me rephrase that.

If you act too differently and you're too smart, you'd see hell.

Don't dress up in out of market football (Real football. where people don't fake getting hurt, not soccer) jerseys, you're seen as some kind of Uncle Tom.

This is why even though I'm black, I will always hang out with white people because most black people I know are anti-intellectual.

Hi,

although i am not american and i don´t know how things are run there, i would like to make you a question. Are you in college or in high school ?

I make this question because i know that in high school boys and girls are very inmature, and the less you study, the more popular you are. Those who study are seen as nerds, etc. Maybe when you go to college you will see a change because they actually want intellectual people there.

Well, i am making the assumption that you are still in high school, because if you are already in college then i don´t really know what to tell you. Regards,

Geom

I'm 25 and in college.

HereComesTheRain, you sound kind of angry.

I'm black too and while I've had that problem, it's pretty rare for me. I don't know why you're having such a hard time, maybe it's because you're a guy, or maybe you're in high school.

I used to get picked on by neighborhood kids, but once I stood up for myself(physically), they left me alone. No one cares what book I have my head in or what rock band tee shirt I have on.

Among anyone 20+ years old, I don't see anti-intellectualism, unless it's on t.v.

Edit:

I didn't see your reply. You're in college. I really don't know, I haven't had that problem. Maybe it's where you are.

I'm white, and I worked in a majority African-American office environment for 17 years. It did wonders for me, because it forced me to work on my communication problems in order to make it in those surroundings! That being said, I imagine the aspie experience is entirely different from the inside. I think that community is particularly inclined to view their aspies as suspect because of your unique interests, academic-type pursuits, and most importantly your individualism. There's still a strong tribal dynamic going on there, based not just on strong emotional, extended-family ties but on plain old survival instinct. This is completely understandable (and desirable)given their history, and it works fine for NTs. But aspies are going to be left at loose ends, since there's no strong urge in aspies to bond with their community socially.

Do you know any African-Americans who do understand AS or are open to understanding your unique "wiring?" Any professors at school, counselors, etc? I wouldn't write your whole community off, I think that's a mistake. There's as much good there as bad, just like anywhere. I think the difference is that the African-American community in general may see "aspie-ness" as more socially intimidating based on their history here in the US. Whites are just as dippy when it comes to ostracizing those of us who don't fit in, and they don't even have a clear-cut historical reason for it.

I hate to say it, but HereComesTheRain is right. I think that is what REALLY spurs the racists, etc... Just look at what bruno Wurgel said on black white.

I was in a school once that had a LOT of blacks in it. I have to admit that personally I had trouble only with some of the whites, but the whites and blacks socially kept mainly to themselves. I did get to see how they acted though. And I once went to south central(after the rodney king incident), talk about COLD! BRRR! We visited a black friend of a friend of mine, and she was afraid to come out, etc... because of gang activity. BLACKS hurting BLACKS! Yet publically they talk like whites cause all their problems.

Granted, there are some VERY nice blacks, intelligent, etc... There are many that, to use the equivalent white term to show it isn't unique to them and avoid a term everyone considers horrific for a white to say, act like poor white trash! They have a different culture, and butcher the language more, but are otherwise identical. So YEAH, if you are in an all black area, it is often best that you are black, look black, dress black, talk black, and don't act too smart. Otherwise, you COULD end up like reginald denny! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reginald_Oliver_Denny Then again, I could say similar things about some really dirt poor white areas.

Steve

This is going to sound weird and I apologize everytime I say it. We're (for all intents and purposes) "white" and my son is very pale, strawberry blond.
Anyway, my experience having an "odd duck" for a son was an eye-opener in terms of race. Pop's traits started to show more once he was a toddler and we were living in Indianapolis. he was nonverbal and didn't play like normal kids and so was shunned at the playground by other kids. Some girls had the nerve to tell me to get my son away from them, even though he wasn't interferring with them at all. Women would smile (he's very attractive) and engage him until . . . GASP, he mimicked them! Echolalia was very strong and they didn't know what to make of it. Then there was this look of horror and they'd mosey away.
I found that going to the "diverse" playground where there would be Blacks and Asians was much better. Black kids all ran around and would "include" my son in the game. This was when he was non verbal and not understanding what was being said around him. They acted as if he did and didn't freak out when he didn't respond "appropriately".

I realize that is a toddler story, but it reinforced a perception I have held about Black people. That there is some amount of tolerance for disability and difference that Whites don't have.

Right now, my son attends a school that is just less than half white, half "other" (Hispanic, Black and Asian). It is much more tolerant and friendly the white schools he's attended. he had the same experience in California.

First off, this is a somewhat limited viewpoint. I'm not saying this isn't a reality for some African Americans, espeically younger ones, but it is NOT "African American culture" in total. This does not include the majority of Afirican American history, its literature, its intellectual as well as artistic acheivements. It doesn't even come close to encompassing the face of Black America today, even if it gets more media coverage. What you're describing is a very narrow, ahistorical subculture at best, one that has evolved largely over the last 30 years which has been antagonistic toward the larger African American society in the US and has been influenced greatly by the introduction of some very harmful elements, like gang ethics, drugs and commerical exploitation of blacks through popular music and sports.

Now, since the early 90's. this has translated in a highly conformist mentality that values a very selfish outlook. Forms of exploitation are esteemed, even if in figures of speech like "pimp," "ho," "playa," whatever - it's the attitudee that of "I can do whatever I want, treat people however I want, to get whatever I want" be it status, sex, money. And because a lot of this descends down from illegal gang culture, of course there's a suspicion of "outsiders" or anyone who could be a "snitch," basically anyone who'd disapprove of their actions and attitudes. That's the source of the conformity as well as the anti-intellectualism. In this world, blacks who pursue a formal education or middle class living through more conventional means are seen as "snitches" in a way, as people who disapprove of the status quo. So they're bullied and mocked, if not worse.

I don't envy you for having to contend with this, and I'm definitely not saying it's not a big deal. I myself, a trained jazz musician who went to predominantly black high school in the 80's, and has long greatly valued African American history and culture, openly loath this petty, conformist, counterproductive subculture so many black youths have to face. I understand that there's a lot of things blacks can be justifiably angry about in America, but I admit it astonishes me that it's come to this, where blacks are holding other blacks down, calling each other insulting names on a casual and indifferent basis, and trying to deny some blacks their own gifts and talents just because those gifts and talents are seen as "white" somehow.

All I can say it that I strongly encourage you to get better educated about African American history and about the social politics facing this community today. Go online and google things like "black identity in America" or "African American status" and read up on other viewpoints on this topics, because god knows there's plenty out there. While hanging out with whites is one alternative, I doubt you're going to find many of them that knowledgable about what you're really dealing with. Best to seek out the resources to better inform, assure and inspire yourself with, because you're always going to be black and this isn't going to be problem you'll leave behind you when you leave college.

Steve, I didn't say it doesn't happen, just the bullying is rare for me. I live in Cleveland, downtown. I know I stick out with my Pink Floyd and Bob Dylan t-shirts. I am horrible at slang and I don't fit in. People call me, College Girl or Guitar Girl but I'm not picked on. There's a few bad seeds, but mostly people keep to themselves.

Reginald Denny's story is pretty rare. At least in Cleveland, you don't come across that sort of random gang violence. I honestly can't believe most blacks look down on intelligence. You hear about the ones who do because they're ignorant loud mouths, but they aren't the center of the black community.

I've experienced it both ways- both the good and the bad.

Let me start off with saying that I'm white. When I lived in Houston, I went to a very diverse elementary school. And when I moved to Indianapolis, my first school system here was even more diverse (not so good when it's a huge township). I still lived there in ninth grade, and I am still experiencing nightmares from it three years later. That high school was about 50% black, 25% white, and 25% "other". I was constantly getting beaten up and taken advantage of by all races and both genders, rather than just one. And the thing is, that school had no money. I'll just come out and say it. The whites were trash and the blacks were ghetto. It's not like I didn't have any friends there though. I actually had quite a bit from, once again, all races there.

Then in 2004, my mom and I moved to a town near Indiananpolis called New Palestine. It was the most racist town I had ever seen. Everyone was white and of German descent and it was an extremely cliquey, snobby area. Basically if they hadn't known you their whole life, they'd shun you out. And of course, right away, they did so to me. And unfortunately, the harrassment from the other school district found it's way to me right away in this new one- before second period on the first day. Those people there weren't accepting of anything. If you were even slightly different, they'd totally abhor you. I only knew of one black family living there and they were probably the only people I'd consider friends. No one else liked them either (the KKK is still going there and that's what the high school's mascot is based off of) so we just stuck together.

I moved out of there last summer (should've been sooner!) and I have to say, I really like it here. Although my school is 80% white, I'd have to say it's the best school I've ever gone to. There's still a good amount of diversity going on (not too much, not too little as I've seen it both ways) and everyone generally gets along with each other even though it's a really large school. It isn't cliquey and it's certainly not racist.

I am white. The last place I lived was a mostly black neighborhood, and I have to say they were the most accepting people I've been around. And they all looked out for each other.

They would shake their heads over some of my music, or tell me to quit being so nice (and explain how not to get taken: ie. trying to teach me some street smarts, "no, when they say that, you say this".), or that I was acting too smart (i think i'd get way over analytical in conversations), but it was all in an ok way where it was still cool for me just to be me just as I accepted each of them as they were.

It's still the only time I ever felt I could just hang out with a group of people and it was all good. Instead of being ignored or ostracized, I was accepted. I've never fit in anywhere, and while I didn't quite fit that mold either, they took me more for who I was.

Now I live in an all white neighborhood, and while it is quieter, it seems much stuffier/snobbish. I keep trying to make conversations with neighbors, but they aren't too interested in connecting with me, and I've already made plenty of weirdo impressions.

Hi, I agree with a few of the previous posters.

I think for an Aspie the best place to be is with black people.
I am mixed races (not any black in me) but they best time I've ever had was when for a couple of years I was in a job where every person was black but me. I learned alot from them about how to be cool.

They caught onto the fact that I was wierd, but they didn't ostracise me for it like whites do. They just said "you're wierd", like once, when they first noticed, then that was it, they just accepted me. I wish whites could be as accepting.

At least where I was, these people treated everybody like family, which you don't see too much of in White work places. Once you're part of the family you don't have to worry so much about the awkwardness off trying to figure out the social relationships.

Yes I had to suppress my intellectual ramblings a bit, but it was no big loss to the world.

Also if you are white and you are working with all blacks, they pretty much figure you must be crazy anyway. So when they figured out I was wierd, it was like really no big shock to them.

I dont think i could have said it any better.... I hope my story will help to provide more insight as well

First off i would like to say i am a 26 year old black male who grew up in a small segregated town in Mississippi. By segregated i mean throughout my tenure in school from K-12 I could literally count on my fingers the amount of non black students whom i knew within that time frame. The town which i speak of is roughly 50% black and 50 % white. What would happen is the parents of the white kids would send their children to a private school in another town 10 miles away so that they would not have to go to school with blacks. Sadly enough to say this caused me to form a great deal of anomosity towards whites at that time.

Feeling ousted by my own race as well due to my inability to conform to popular trends and activities,i became a regular target of classmates and so called friends alike to unleash their aggressions towards. Throughout high school i stayed introverted and questioned my existence as a black man and my purpose if there were any. I definitely understand that it can seem like you're the only one in a crowd that feels a certain way and most times that can be true. What got me through my darkest and lonliest hours was knowing that i was unique and that the things i could see, feel, and create were gifts which would someday lead me to do something great in my life. This time period being my adolseant years were very painfull and uncertain. I was born into an enviroment that i could not undersrtand nor escape. This brought great depression and anxiety up until the age of 18.

When i turned 18 I joined the military and turned my life around for the better. I got out in 2005 now and work for the goverment and am currently going to school to be eventually become a psycharatrist. I keep a close knit group of friends and only associate with open minded people who arent looking to change me or feel i should be any kind of way. After getting away from that enviroment i can definitly say that my view of all races have changed dramatically. You can always look to media or everyday life and see something sterotypical of african american culture because that is what is conventional and accepted by the majority. On the other hand you have to dig deeper to find the "underground" members of this society who arent moved by these sterotyped ambitions of money, sex, drugs, gangs, ignorance,and power. Ive learned you cant judge any race by the actions of the few. There are good, bad, and in between among us all.

Where I grew up in Nebraska it was very white dominant. At school I was tormented pretty often. When I moved here in middle school and enrolled in Denver Public Schools it felt like I was accepted more. I went to a high school here that's around 60% Mexican, and at the risk of sounding prejudiced or whatever, this is my personal experience when it comes to kids of different backgrounds: it goes White>Black>Mexican. White kids are by far the most eager to single people out, at least other white kids like me.