Having Aspie friends damaging to my development?

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I attend a school that's part of Autism Outreach program, and because of this all of my social interaction takes place in the SN room of my high school, where ther entire population in there has AS. There are only 11 of us, but 7 of use have formed a pretty close bond, and over time we've adopted our own mannerisms and greetings etc. I have one other friend who doesn't have AS, but the others don't.

Only now the head of SN has called all of our parents and the workers at Autism Outreach to have us broken up because this group we have formed ' Is really damaging our social development'.

I don't agree with that, partly because they're my friends, and secondly because the alternative is being out in the yard at break, where all 11 of us get bullied badly. But that makes me biased. Do you think my SN teacher is right about this? I don't want to be holding my friends back, especaily as some are younger than I am.

I think that's stupid. All the Aspies and Autistics in my year(for some reason there's around 6) hang around together(well, 2 don't[me and this guy]). 'Truth is, they don't really get along with other people because they're not very accepting to their differences and lack of social enthusiasm.
I don't think you'll exactly develop and further sticking around with the same people, but you'll DEFINITELY deteriorate if you end up getting bullied.
I think the guy/woman is overrating his jurisdiction... This is probably one of the worst punishments to give, but you haven't done anything.
EMZ.

It should be up to you.

I know what you mean here. When I was a kid I was always surrounded by kids who everyone would call "NT" and my mom never wanted me around anyone who wasn't one. I think it was because she wanted me to mimmick the NT behaviours and mannerisms. Plus, she didn't want me to be overprotected but I think I needed to be overprotected. She thought the experience would teach me how to adapt, toughen me up and make it easier for me to transition into an adult NT life later.
When I was around NT kids I didn't fit into their scene and was often picked on and shunned. Most did not want me around and the ones who talked to me thought of me as a joke. I became meaner with each year all because I was surrounded by meanness everyday and learned it from the wonderful "NTs". Lucky me.

I think your teacher is talking BS. Nobody has the right to tell you who your friends should and shouldn't be.

You're lucky you have aspie friends in real life. I don't, I just have online friends. At school, I just have to hang with the more accepting NTs.

Agreeing with most of the above.

Your teacher has no idea what social development is. Doesn't she realise the problem is if you're NOT making friends?

I think that's ridiculous. Splitting you up from people you relate to is far more damaging to your development. NTs caused me more psychological trauma than anyone else. In fact, it wasn't until I actually made an Aspie friend that I was finally able to understand and better communicate with NTs. That bond you have is important and they shouldn't be taking that away from you.

Thanks.

Only one of our parents have suported us. He actualy thinks that having such a large group of friends for his son, all of whom he can relate to and be at ease with is much better than having him be alienated with a better chance of picking up more 'normal' social stuff.

And supporting all of you guys - that dad has AS too.

But, it seems that since all of the rest of our parents want us to be split up that we're might be

"Mainstreaming" just leads to bullying and social isolation, which in turn will lead to mood and anxiety disorders. It'll negatively impact your development, as you'll probably do worst at school work, and you'll be socially isolated.

It'll actually help your development being around others like you, but also having a NT teacher to just teach you some basic social rules (dos and don'ts in other words) for half an hour or so every week.

I can't believe they're doing this! You may copy each others' mannerisms more, but having experience with friendship is a hundred times more useful than just being around NT kids who tend to be abusive and are not currently your friends at all.

If you read people's posts around here, you'll see that the greatest distress associated with AS is the problem of social anxiety and abuse--both of which occur much less in a group of people who also have neurological oddities.

Associating with other autistics helps me a great deal. We swap ideas about how to deal with the world; we hang out without worrying too much that we'll say or do the wrong thing, because everybody else is socially awkward too. If somebody else has the same trait that they've learned to work with, they can teach you how to do it too.

Until I first met other autistic people, I had no idea how to solve some of the problems I was facing. Professionals can only know so much about ASDs without ever having experienced it themselves. If you want theory, go to a professional; if you want practical advice, go to another autistic person.

If your parents want you to have experience interacting with other people, there's no better way to get that experience than with other people who also have ASDs. Okay, so you might learn a new stim; but if you also learn how not to have a meltdown when the sun gets in your eyes, or how to handle the problem of an intrusive aide, or how to interpret some weird NT action that you're puzzled on and somebody else has figured out already (and it wouldn't occur to an NT that it was anything other than obvious)... then it's definitely a net positive.

Also: Who's more likely to be emotionally stable and accepted by people:
Someone who's constantly afraid that he will make the wrong move, and so shy that his fear keeps him from interacting?
Someone who's been hurt so often that he's turned around and become hostile in preemptive self-defense?
Or someone who is obviously odd, but comfortable with who he is, and willing to reach out to others?

Give you a hint: It's the third one. People find it much easier to accept someone who is odd and makes no bones about it than someone who may either cry or hit you if you trigger the wrong bad memory.

Get your parents on here. Let us at 'em. I've got about a million reasons why it's not harmful to be with other autistic people, and my own sanity and increased confidence is one of them.

It's true, Aqueo. It's more important for you to be in an environment that isn't hostile toward you socially so you can develop the confidence in people and trust that you need to keep reaching out to them and so that you will continue to have the desire to interact with them and hopefully won't go on to develop a depression later. Your happiness and well being are the most important things.

Heh, too late with the developing depression ¬¬

I doubt that I will get my parents on my side. It's not just my group of friends all having AS, but also that some of them are younger than I am. They think that it's very weird for me to have 13 year old friends. My SN teacher also told them a story/lie about Luke, who came round my house, the first time he's broken his routine since he started primary school. He couldn't handle it, so I told my dad to call hsi parents and take him home. I then stood outside with him until he calmed down and went home with him to check he was okay. His parents were grateful, he was fine, a little embarassed but fine.

My SN told my parents that I had pressured Luke into coming over, even though it has his idea entirely, and also that I had been irrisponsible and Luke could have run away and got hit by a car etc. Basicly, that my friendship with him puts him at a risk of death if you think about it locigaly - which is absurd.

Is it me or does the teacher have some sort of grudge against you?
EMZ=]

Sure seems that way doesn't it. It's not the first time she's been this way about any of us. Both we and our paretns all have stories about her XD

I know what you mean, Aqueo. When I was a kid I really wanted friends and when I made one it seemed like it was ephemeral at best. Maybe I would have a friend for two days, a week at the most. I got to the point where I stopped thinking I could ever have a good friend for a long period of time. I would make a friend who was cool and nice but something would always happen to mess it up and then I would be stuck with the mean friends again. I never seemed to have problems keeping them:(
To this day I have no idea what was going on. It eludes me still.