What to do???

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My dad is planning on taking me out to a bar for my 19th birthday, which is about a month away... The goal is to get me plastered... I don't want to get drunk, and more so, I don't have any desire to go to a bar ever. Its not my idea of fun, they may like it, but I don't. Worst part is, if I don't go, they will drag me. My only chance is to hide in a library or something... But I can't do that, as they will just take me some other night. Now I am praying that I have an exam the next day so that they have to cancel it...

cant you just tell him you dont want to go

I tried... It is supposedly a "rite of passage"...

i reckon u need a biig long talk with em bout not wantin to go
u could aways say its uncool to go out drinking with your dad

There is only one good thing I can think of... It is only with other relatives... And if I can stick to a plan, and not get drunk enough to lose all ability to control what I say, I may be able to make them think it was a really bad idea... Just to figure out how to end the night early... Hmmm.... What to do to end the night early...

maybe you just have to "bite the sour apple"

go with him, get drunk, complete the "rite of passage", at least he will (hopefully) not drag you back there again, if you make him understand the sacrifice made, on your part?

seems like dads _really_ need to do dad-son stuff, and w AS-sons, that becomes difficult or impossible. "give him" this one, if its not absolutely impossible?

just have a few shots of tequilla straight away, flush them down with a double JD and you'll be done for the night :p

They can't force the stuff down your throat.


If you need to, keep ditching them whenever they try to take you to the bar or succeed in taking you. They'll probably eventually get the message.

Tell your dad that you do want to do something special that's just you and him, but going to a bar is a frightening experience for you. I'm 34 and I hate bars, refuse to go to night clubs, and have had to leave both in a very big hurry.

He wants to connect with you, he wants good happy memories of just you and him, so why not draw up a list of things that you would like to do just him and you - maybe a building project you can work on together, a father-son project.

No, its more tradition with everyone we know, in family and outside of it, to get drunk as f*** when you hit legal age... Not my idea of fun, but hey, if I can keep off of it enough, and let them get drunker faster, I think I am good. Problem is a couple of the guys there are hardly affected by alcohol, so that might be hard. It is definitly not a bonding thing... It has more to do with "lets see what his alcohol tolerance is" thing.

Everyone wanted to do that for me too. But when I turned 21 they all sorta forgot about it and it didn't happen. I've found it to be more something that almost everyone says.

"Ohhh turnin the big 21 huh?? I'm gonna take you out and get you smashed! Hahaha We'll have a great time.."

My dad is already making phone calls to invite people to come and see me get plastered. Again, not my idea of fun... Maybe I just get myself so hammered that I get kicked out of the bar, or fake it. Its not the alcohol that bothers me, its the bar part.

whatever his reason, tradition or whatever, hes not doing it to piss you off, and he clearly has this idea that it will be a fantastic time for both of you.
why doenst he know that youll be uncomfortable and not have fun?
have you told him in a direct way, that such an evening will be pure discomfort for you?

Yeah, I have... I just want to get it done and over with...

Sometimes I think we can create our own problems. I know that if I worry enough about a situation, I can pretty much always find problems once I get there. Positive thinking!

Work out your strategies before hand. What will you do if someone bumps into you and spills your drink? See it happen in your mind now, prepare for it, know how you'll deal with it.

it could be the best thing to do. pretend its some sort of test for yourself
i know exactly what it is about bars and the whole situation, thats so uninviting to you, but its not DEATH and its nowhere near death when the bar-evening is over, youll be drunk, exhausted as hell, and relieved its all finally over ;]