Coping with self pity

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Does anyone go through nights when they feel really bad about themselves, lonely or whatnot? i'm feeling sort of like that tonight and wish I could distract myself.

I know how you feel. Thats pretty much my biggest problem these days. Personally, i find watching something funny, or reading webcomics or something helps. Really , when you feel like , best cure is to just do something that takes your attention for a while.

OK - you feel bad. Self-pity hardly helps in any way. What about a more systematic of dealing with this:

Make a list, perhaps even in writing, about the causes of those problems and than try to understand what means you may have to solve the underlining causes.

If you don't understand how to help yourself, ask your self, how can help or - much better - where you can find further information regarding your situation.

If you do not understand your problems you will never be able to solve those.

One of my problems is that I wrote some poetry, writing, etc in a social networking site and I felt largely ignored compaired to other people. I wish I didn't feel that way. That's one of my ongoing struggles with myself. It seems I want to stand out and have some form of popularity. I don't like getting negative attention, so I try my best to be positive. But it seems either I end up disliked or I get a few friends but then don't hear from them at the time I feel I need them the most.

Then the next upset is I know with myself this is all wrong and I shouldn't feel this way. I shouldn't "need" or crave attention. I feel like my pity has no moral standing, yet I can't stop the upset feelings I have about being lonely and wanting attention.

I guess it's two things that upset me. 1. feeling lonely and wanting attention and 2. Angry with myself because I believe it's wrong for me to feel that way and let it eat me up.

From whom you "want" this popularity? Who they are that they are important for you? Who will remember their praise in future? Who assesses their assessments? Who will remember their name in one years, ten years or 1000 years?



If you know this - follow your reason! You may can't change the world significantly, but you are your lord and master in your mind! Exercise this lordship!

If I hadn't pitied myself, I don't know where I'd be today. It can be a useful thing to feel sorry for yourself and tell yourself you've had a hard time, because not many aspies attract pity. I certainly don't.

These days I don't do self pity, but at the time I did, I needed it, and the only person who was going to supply it was me.

Aspies don't necessarily have someone who will say 'there there, you poor thing, you've had a horrible time' so sometimes it's appropriate to do that for yourself. Just be a bit careful, if you wallow in it too much it becomes self indulgence.

I feel better now, but I had a rough night. I mentioned popularity before, but when I was thinking it over, I thought more it's that I feel I don't fit in. It seems to be a feeling that follows me no matter where I go, in real life or the internet. Even if I do get praise time to time it doesn't register because I don't feel like I belong. Nor can I really participate in the descussions. Perhaps it's because when I read things people share, I don't always have the right emotions or can fully see where people are coming from. I try really hard, but still feel like I am missing the mark somewhere.

Most of the people I was trying to connect with are not autistic and probably don't understand autism and some probably didn't even really care to understand autism. I guess it's me trying to fit in with NT's all over again. It seems even on the internet they somehow notice differences.

You must see this the other way around: They do not fit to you. So fare you do not rely on a economic level (job etc.) on others, there is no reason to make compromises because "they" don't like you.

If they think that you "don't fit" - their problem, not yours!

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You are the person you are and you have no reason to find excuses for this fact or change your self, just because other people want so!

The more of you I read, the more I like your attitude...